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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ginny - an update

1000 replies

idontknowwhattosay23 · 09/07/2023 13:02

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Tricyrtis2022 · 11/07/2023 18:35

Mavis, that's gross!!! 😂

IwantToRetire · 11/07/2023 18:41

This thread is an absolutely gold mine. And better than any tv drama

First of all our heroine - take a bow OP

Then the bully - boo hiss Ginny

Useless people in charge - yes that's you boss

And a growing cast of supportive colleagues.

I missed the graphic but saw the words. Doesn't the boss now realise that it wasn't you who was made to apologise, but it should have been Ginny.

Oh yes, and as already said - special round of applause to colleague who had just had enough and told the boss how it was / is.

More. More.

RunningUpThatBuilding · 11/07/2023 18:44

OP I salute your colleague! Very well played!

I hope this is the start of your bosses realisation of what is actually going on here.

What a shame Ginny will no longer be able to make women uncomfortable in the toilets! Lol!

I wonder what his next move will be? Pushing into the back office to make inappropriate chat? As horrible as it sounds I hope he does - your colleague records it - and Ginny gets fired. Best possible outcome.

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 18:51

idontknowwhattosay23 · 11/07/2023 17:50

When I heard there was a sign I thought the same! But no, the boss seems to have had a wake up call. Sort of. More to follow!

Also now I want tunnocks please send.

Will this lot do you?

Ginny - an update
dapsnotplimsolls · 11/07/2023 18:52

Prediction - in a further escalation, Ginny will throw themselves at the newbies tomorrow.

HairyKitty · 11/07/2023 18:55

I wonder if all women in the office who feel like op could record inappropriate sexualised comments and forward to manager, so he has like a daily barrage and can no longer ignore it

OP does Ginny behave the same way around males as well? I was really curious about this

Mmmnotsure · 11/07/2023 18:57

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 11/07/2023 18:15

Identify as a cat, then it’s still one person … and a cat going to the loo. Cats are not human, therefore not a person.

I mean if we are going to have to live with this lunacy, we might as well use it to our advantage.

would the boss like to provide litter trays in the loo, alongside everything else I wonder…

A support cat :) Part of a long and honourable tradition.

Best kept away from the support wren.

Gothambutnotahamster · 11/07/2023 18:59

Gunny's behaviour is truly awful though & it's despicable that you're having to endure this Op. Really hope the boss has their eyes opened to the reality of the situation soon.

Williehollobooby · 11/07/2023 19:07

I love the 'identify as a cat' idea. Brilliant. Demand a litter tray. If you are refused, then that is discrimination.

Zeroperspective · 11/07/2023 19:07

I've followed both your threads and I genuinely have no idea what to say?! It sounds totally made up cos surely something this batshit crazy can not be real?! Like seriously?! I'm not accusing you of making it up by the way, I believe its happening but its just....what the actual fuck?! Please please find a way to get your hands on that video!! I've zero advice because I'm just gobsmacked this is even happening its just fecking nuts! Just keep doing what you're doing I guess and keep your head down whilst searching for another job 🤷🏼‍♀️ oh and keep updating us cos I'm invested in how much more batshit crazy this can get lmao x

FictionalCharacter · 11/07/2023 19:13

I hope G doesn't flounce out of the job in disgust, claim constructive dismissal because of being hounded out by horrid bullies, and become a heroic figure supported by the usual suspects.

Thelnebriati · 11/07/2023 19:19

AFAIK you have to have worked somewhere for 18 months to have employment protection so fingers crossed thats not the outcome.

Ourladycheesusedatum · 11/07/2023 19:19

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 18:51

Will this lot do you?

OY boiled, thought that was our shared stash?

Yea yeah ok, OP needs it more, I will schlep to the shops again.

idontknowwhattosay23 · 11/07/2023 19:20

HairyKitty · 11/07/2023 18:55

I wonder if all women in the office who feel like op could record inappropriate sexualised comments and forward to manager, so he has like a daily barrage and can no longer ignore it

OP does Ginny behave the same way around males as well? I was really curious about this

I can only really speak on what I've seen / heard myself but in my opinion, they absolutely don't behave the same way.

I'm trying to think how to word it without being labelled transphobic, or nasty. It's almost like they can turn it on and off? Around us, Ginny is very overly feminine and giggly, almost patronisingly so. If they weren't trans you'd think they were almost making fun of us. Even the simplest of work related matters can't be discussed professionally, it's all "heyyyyy girls! Oh my god so I have this problem with with this data and I just know you girls will help meeeeee! I feel like such a klutz I should so know how to do this insert stomach churning giggles scooch over let me sit with you so I can show you" blah blah all very OTT nonsense. Almost like a bad parody of every 90s chick flick.

HOWEVER, I have seen them speaking with male colleagues about quite serious matters and they are the opposite. Very clear, concise, make pertinent and relevant points. It's disappointing really as although it pains me to say it, they clearly do have potential to be a great team player.

It's a bit girl mode / boy mode ala Izzard. They look similar too, all be it Ginny has grown their hair out a bit more. I have wondered if izzard is their inspo but that's entirely my wild opinion, I have nothing tangible to suggest that really.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 19:21

Ourladycheesusedatum · 11/07/2023 19:19

OY boiled, thought that was our shared stash?

Yea yeah ok, OP needs it more, I will schlep to the shops again.

Look the OPs need is greater. Get your shoes on and hurry up that plate full wont last long

Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis · 11/07/2023 19:25

This talk of tunnocks is very cruel when my stash ran out after 2 days. And what is this talk of dark chocolate tunnocks???? Sainsburys do not have these.

OP sorry I’ve nothing else useful to add other than well done to you and your colleagues and good luck with the interview.

idontknowwhattosay23 · 11/07/2023 19:28

Zeroperspective · 11/07/2023 19:07

I've followed both your threads and I genuinely have no idea what to say?! It sounds totally made up cos surely something this batshit crazy can not be real?! Like seriously?! I'm not accusing you of making it up by the way, I believe its happening but its just....what the actual fuck?! Please please find a way to get your hands on that video!! I've zero advice because I'm just gobsmacked this is even happening its just fecking nuts! Just keep doing what you're doing I guess and keep your head down whilst searching for another job 🤷🏼‍♀️ oh and keep updating us cos I'm invested in how much more batshit crazy this can get lmao x

I know, I sometimes sit down to update you lot and think why is this happening. I switch between finding the laughs in it and being genuinely very upset about it all. The funny thing is I was very much of the opinion this sort of thing didn't really happen, or if it did it wasn't often, and certainly would never happen in a small town full of boring people who just do their 9-5 and go home.

One good outcome is that this whole thing has sent me down a rabbit hole of GC deep diving and educating myself better about women's rights and the problem as a whole on a bigger scale. I was bordering ignorant about it all which pains me to say now.

As for the video I know 2 things for certain, the video is on their phone, and their ego won't let it stay confined to their phone for long. I'm very very very VERY tempted to find a way to sweet talk them into sharing it with either myself or convincing them to put it online but that's veering into territory that makes me not a very nice person and I'm a bit loathed to lower myself. But I think there's a lot of merit in having it seen, just so others who were like myself thinking this sort of thing doesn't happen, can see first hand that it can. What I do have is the audio, which I wouldn't say would be too morally bankrupt of me to share.

OP posts:
thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 11/07/2023 19:29

MavisMcMinty · 11/07/2023 18:13

Ha ha, fantastic! Ginny, flushed with success after Ginny’s last trolling of the women in the company, overreached and toppled fucking over, how perfect!

^^ This. So perfectly phrased.

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 19:29

Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis · 11/07/2023 19:25

This talk of tunnocks is very cruel when my stash ran out after 2 days. And what is this talk of dark chocolate tunnocks???? Sainsburys do not have these.

OP sorry I’ve nothing else useful to add other than well done to you and your colleagues and good luck with the interview.

I've had to put the sensitivity Filter on I hate dark chocolate

Sensitive content
Ginny - an update
Sensitive content
Ginny - an update
Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 19:33

idontknowwhattosay23 · 11/07/2023 19:28

I know, I sometimes sit down to update you lot and think why is this happening. I switch between finding the laughs in it and being genuinely very upset about it all. The funny thing is I was very much of the opinion this sort of thing didn't really happen, or if it did it wasn't often, and certainly would never happen in a small town full of boring people who just do their 9-5 and go home.

One good outcome is that this whole thing has sent me down a rabbit hole of GC deep diving and educating myself better about women's rights and the problem as a whole on a bigger scale. I was bordering ignorant about it all which pains me to say now.

As for the video I know 2 things for certain, the video is on their phone, and their ego won't let it stay confined to their phone for long. I'm very very very VERY tempted to find a way to sweet talk them into sharing it with either myself or convincing them to put it online but that's veering into territory that makes me not a very nice person and I'm a bit loathed to lower myself. But I think there's a lot of merit in having it seen, just so others who were like myself thinking this sort of thing doesn't happen, can see first hand that it can. What I do have is the audio, which I wouldn't say would be too morally bankrupt of me to share.

Get one of the blokes at work to persuade Ginny to put it on line. You need to have no connection to that bit.

You've got to keep seeing the funny side of this it's the only way to keep the stress levels low whilst at work.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 11/07/2023 19:34

idontknowwhattosay23 · 11/07/2023 19:20

I can only really speak on what I've seen / heard myself but in my opinion, they absolutely don't behave the same way.

I'm trying to think how to word it without being labelled transphobic, or nasty. It's almost like they can turn it on and off? Around us, Ginny is very overly feminine and giggly, almost patronisingly so. If they weren't trans you'd think they were almost making fun of us. Even the simplest of work related matters can't be discussed professionally, it's all "heyyyyy girls! Oh my god so I have this problem with with this data and I just know you girls will help meeeeee! I feel like such a klutz I should so know how to do this insert stomach churning giggles scooch over let me sit with you so I can show you" blah blah all very OTT nonsense. Almost like a bad parody of every 90s chick flick.

HOWEVER, I have seen them speaking with male colleagues about quite serious matters and they are the opposite. Very clear, concise, make pertinent and relevant points. It's disappointing really as although it pains me to say it, they clearly do have potential to be a great team player.

It's a bit girl mode / boy mode ala Izzard. They look similar too, all be it Ginny has grown their hair out a bit more. I have wondered if izzard is their inspo but that's entirely my wild opinion, I have nothing tangible to suggest that really.

Wow that's interesting. It reminds me of the classic "middle class man talking to the builders" persona. It really shows what Ginny thinks is "normal" for women vs what is "normal" for men (sexist twunt).

Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis · 11/07/2023 19:35

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 19:29

I've had to put the sensitivity Filter on I hate dark chocolate

Boiled I think I love you!!! Now to find them in a shop

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2023 19:37

Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis · 11/07/2023 19:35

Boiled I think I love you!!! Now to find them in a shop

Teacakes Amazon, caramel bars asda and Waitrose. Although Sainsbury's do tend to sell them in store but not put them on the online shopping thingy.

mauvish · 11/07/2023 19:41

This thread is one of the best ever! Though I realise that for you, @idontknowwhattosay23 , it's not a joke, it's life, and that's pretty crap.

But the more that Ginny outs themselves as a blithering idiot, the better. And the more people that see it and realise the wider implications, the better too.

More power to you, and your (sane) colleagues' elbows!

Hepwo · 11/07/2023 19:42

FictionalCharacter · 11/07/2023 19:13

I hope G doesn't flounce out of the job in disgust, claim constructive dismissal because of being hounded out by horrid bullies, and become a heroic figure supported by the usual suspects.

The witness statements would be worth it though!

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