Ginny - an update

[idontknowwhattosay23]

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

Yes, essentially exactly that!

Just myself and two other women, and we didn't even really speak about it. I certainly can't recall a specific conversation where we all decided this is what we would do. It was already a thing when I joined the company and was started by a woman who left long before my time there. We just topped it up as and when between us. There's also things in there called beyou monthly patches (which totally off topic are really helpful!) they are brilliant, and some ibuprofen and deep heat. Someone put twirl bars in there once, that was a highlight!

Right this will sound bizarre, but I'll say it anyway:

I actually really quite enjoyed the camaraderie of it, especially after having my youngest my TOTM has been just miserable frankly, and the discomfort and pain as I'm sure you will all likely know is just so... what's the word... demoralising? Might not be the right word. But knowing I wouldn't ever be caught out, and better yet there would be emergency pain relief or actually, even new little "treat" things someone had popped in was lovely. I even really enjoyed leaving things in myself for the others to try, only little hand creams or perfume samples sometimes or the like, but anyway, it just was a bit of a nice thing between us in what is quite a stressful and busy office. And best of all, no one talked about it! There wasn't pressure or rules, just women being nice to each other.

I know it's not, but it FEELS a bit ruined.

Sounds pathetic doesn't it 😂 I read that back and I feel silly but yes, it does feel tainted now.

Especially as the boss has taken over and put the worlds cheapest sanpro in it and nothing else. Don't tell him but we moved the original basket stash to the back office 😉 (I'll probably be fired by Friday for crimes against not sharing)

Gosh I forgot to say!

I don't know whether to laugh about it or not but in the spirit of fairness, boss has put sanpro in ALL bathrooms, including the men's as confirmed by a very confused (and lovely) bloke who sorts out our IT. Ginny doesn't even use that bathroom, they have always used the disabled loo so I'm entirely at a loss as to the thinking behind it.

As much as I'd rather not be in tomorrow, I'm absolutely dying to see what the new starts (all men I believe) make of their bathroom 😂

Someone made a passing comment this morning that the boss has gone a bit "David Brent" in his haphazard handling of the whole thing and now I can't stop thinking about how accurate that statement is!

Listen...they think you are good enough to interview therefore you are good enough for the job. Remember that when you interview.

Well you may not have felt able to ask but I certainly hope your act of contrition apology was in full glorious detail, a là "soo bad of me - I really should have let you have that tampon and what's more, invited you to start doing your own contributing..." Although on reflection, maybe not the latter 😄

Oh OP, you have been through the mill.

I don't think I'd have been able to resist a bit of a calling our within the apology. "Ginny, I am sorry that I questioned your need to help yourself to tampons from a stash that the other women in the office had funded from their own money. I didn't realise it was insensitive to your identity to do so. Having listened to your talk, I think it is really clear why you need validation and support, so it really won't happen again"

Good luck with your interview.

@idontknowwhattosay23 “gone a bit David Brent” … that’s brilliant! Made my day so a big thank you from me🤣🤣

Go and smash that interview!!

🤣

https://twitter.com/davidbrentmovie/status/626069979037892608/mediaviewer

The video.

Oh my goodness!!! 🤣🤣🤣 please tell me that's a real line from his tv show?! That's made my day

@Hepwo i wish there was an award button. So have this instead 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟!!!

Stop it, it really is a line of his! 🤣🤣

I've managed to eek out a few laughs to myself throughout this debacle but that has absolutely sent me, thank you!!! 😂

I've gone down a rabbit hole and there's a song he did as David Brent called equality street, I'm done for today 😂

Now, how do I get it on the works Spotify playlist...

Now, how do I get it on the works Spotify playlist...

Oh to be a fly on the wall whne that gets played ... !!

Hope tomorrow isn't too stressful, and now you have the David Brent connection you can filter everything you see and hear through that context.

" boss has put sanpro in ALL bathrooms"
Mayotte the new starters are transmen.....
Has he put sanitary bins in the men's loos though? Bit discriminatory if he hasn't 🤷🏼‍♀️
Some men really object to having to use loos that have these ghastly yucky women's things in them, so this might not go well for him.

"That's coming off with tap water"

Must have told the hospital. I kid you not. Old mops have gone, the cleaners have been issued with new microfibre mops (one of the cleaners mentioned an exorbitant price but I can't remember what it was so I won't say but it was A LOT) and they are not allowed to use any detergent or disinfectant AT ALL. Just water. I've a feeling the water is meant to be cold too.

I think there's still a policy for clearing up blood and fluids using Actichlor bleach, I haven't checked the policies but we still have the actichlor tablets to mix up when cleaning up infective spillages.
But if someone trod in a dog mess on their way into the hospital and tramped it down the corridors - well it's microfibre all the way.

So chuck out your bleach and Flash ladies. All you need is water. And expensive microfibre.

Also, since the boss is being so helpful with supplies but clearly doesn't appreciate lady needs I think someone's needs to give him a helpful shopping list. Make it a long one.

Forgot to say well done and good luck OP.

So sorry you've gone through this OP. Yes, keep detailed notes. So pleased the female solidarity has been preserved and good luck with your job hunting

Don't tell him but we moved the original basket stash to the back office 😉 (I'll probably be fired by Friday for crimes against not sharing)

😂😂😂

Just to say that 2.5 years ago I applied for a job I was sure was well above my pay grade that I really wasn't sure I was qualified for. I got the job, have increased my salary 50% since then, with the initial pay bump and then a couple of pay rises and am 100% happier. Go for it, pretend in your head that you are OF COURSE the best person for the job, and you will rock it :-)

I have followed the whole thing on both your threads, and I think you have handled it incredibly well, with dignity and humour. I've been watching carefully because I can see glimmers of something similar in my future, and I will have you as my role model!

Very best of luck with the interview- I hope you smash it and the boss loses yet another of his best employees through his own wilful blindness.

For a religious or philosophical belief to be protected under the Equality Act 2010 it must pass the five so-called Grainger tests set by an earlier court ruling. One of these is that the belief must be "worthy of respect in a democratic society" (WORIAD). An example of something that would fail the WORIAD test is the belief that one racial group is inherently inferior.

Shockingly, in Maya Forstater's first employment tribunal hearing her gender-critical beliefs were ruled to have failed that test. She appealed and that judgement was overturned. This was an additional ordeal for Maya to endure - and involved raising a lot more cash - but was very beneficial for others in her position because unlike a normal employment tribunal ruling an Employment Appeals Tribunal (EAT) sets a precedent that subsequent tribunals must follow. So that early setback is one of the reasons that Maya's eventual success is so crucial.

Just a point to note, and I'm asking my own employer the same question and not getting a satisfactory answer, but has sanitary product disposal provision been made for the sanitary products in the men's loos? Has the contract for the emptying of sanitary bins been extended to cover all the bins in all the loos? Has this been budgeted for?

In my experience the bins just get replaced with clean empty ones, not checked to see if they are full, half full or empty.

My employer said that there were general purpose bins by the sinks in the men's loos, and didn't answer me when I begged for reassurance that used sanitary products weren't being disposed of in the paper towel bins 🤬

It's all so inclusive but no one thinks it through to its final conclusion including the cost of disposal provision.

push at it. Because, tbh, the employer shouldn't be asking male employees if they are trans men, and should be providing facilities as if there were trans men there.

Some of this shit sounds like scenes from Brass Eye (rejected as being too ludicrous).

OP- wishing you all the best for the phone interview. Consider it as free interview practice and a great chance to get into the New Job mindset.

You might want to think how you'll answer the "why are you looking for a new position" question. Maybe that your workplace has changed with the departure of two key staff members? Or that you were uncomfortable with how a data breach was dealt with? Others may have more ideas.