Women's rights general conversations - Thread 5

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of Thread 4.

There is so much excellent information and so many active discussions on FWR that I wondered if it would be useful to have a thread to sort of "cross-fertilise" between them - airing little thoughts or vignettes that wouldn't themselves merit their own thread, to highlight other posts/threads of particular interest or to point to notable developments on fast-moving threads so that casual observers know where to look.

(For example, "the X thread has meandered onto a fascinating discussion of Y" or "Poster P's amazing analysis on thread Z might have relevance to the scenario in thread W" or "Has anybody noticed this recurring theme that keeps coming up??" or even "Random bloke asked me to smile while I was choosing onions, grr"- that sort of thing).

From a business point of view that surely must lose them more customers than they gain surely? Who wants to go to a cafe where they toilets are grimmer than grim?

The cafe was in Cambridge Botanic Gardens - so I'd expect a lot of tourist trade, who wouldn't be back anyway. And there are other toilets in the gardens, so those in the know could go there.

Ick! Put summat on TripAdvisor.

That its the sort of stuff I would want to see about a food establishment / tourist attraction so please do a trip advisor thingy whatsit.

I'd expect the gender neutral ones would be the outside ones rather than the ones in the cafe.

any way I'm going to see if the queue is better at the outside ones there is too many of us in this queue and I can't hold on for much longer.

Walks off carefully as really really desperate now!

https://twitter.com/WildfireWhisper/status/1685804390139994112?s=19

I'm sorry to those of you who can't access Twitter, hopefully someone will find a non Twitter link for the video contained within.

It's DM prior to the current DM version

Actually had i bothered to check It was in the next tweet

One thing I've been noticing more of recently (and it makes me think of representations of elective mastectomy scars) is girls with visible self-harm scars on their limbs.

There was a girl with completely latticed healed scars on her legs at the gym on Saturday, and on the same day another girl with a straight lined pattern of scars in the park - both wearing short shorts and going about their business. It made me very uncomfortable - but what is the alternative? Do I want these girls to feel they have to cover their arms and legs for the rest of their lives? No. When I was that age I had friends who cut or had cut - and they always covered. Was that better? Probably not. Maybe these girls were in a better place and doing something physically active in a seemingly unselfconscious way which can only benefit their mental health.

So I'm struggling to pin down why it made me feel uncomfortable - and I do realise that my own feelings are irrelevant to the choices those girls are making - but it felt a bit like it was normalising self-harm and of course publicly confronting how much pain people who self-harm are in, and how little help is available to them.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon - and is there a connection with some teenage girls adopting trans and non-binary identities avoid the physical reality of womanhood? Or is that a stretch? Not sure what I think on this, so apologies for the brain dump.

Dilly's fellow possum was much cuter, but even so, that was way more likeable than the recent stuff.

Re toilets. I have precisely no issue with individual gender neutral toilets, you go in, close the door, you're not interacting with anyone, it's all good. But. They would have to have a toilet attendant checking them ALL the time because what on earth is it with so, so many men that they are fucking disgusting in public toilets?! Why are men's toilets always piss stained, piss puddled and stink of piss? WHY?! Why do they see a really very large area of bowl as something to only vaguely aim at, to piss on, in, and outside as the mood takes them?! WHY?!

I've heard lots of men mock women's lack of spacial awareness when it comes to parking and there they are with zero spacial awareness when it comes to pissing. There is one restaurant/bar I go to that has gender neutral individual toilets and they are, thankfully, in pristine condition or I'd stop going there but it's ridiculous that so, so many men are able or, more likely, willing to use toilets in a decent hygienic way.

Give users a simple binary choice - everyone must sit down to use the facilities OR get shot on leaving (it must be possible to have weight sensors at the threshold and on the pedestal).

Some people will still make a mess, but overall it will be less unpleasant for the cleaners.

Or put in those very expensive French ones that steam clean the entire interior after every use. Do they even exist any more?

I was in a pub men’s toilet once (best not to ask why). There was a graffitied “Now wash your feet” over the urinals.

😆😆😆

Reviews submitted for the botanic garden and the cafe.
I've worked at quite a few places with single, self contained toilets and lots of men using them. For the vast majority of the time they are absolutely fine. It must just be when it's a public toilet and no one they know is going to be telling them off or telling them to clean up after themselves.

I really should have peed prior to reading your comment!

I like your thinking 👍👍

Excellent!

I may have to go read trip advisor at some point soon!

Trying to look on the bright side, these toilets are ideal places for stickering!

To clarify, the minging unisex toilets are ideal for stickering, as women are halfway to being peaked already

Thread with an excellent article on how women (and specifically Eileen, who had the misfortune to marry Orwell) are disappeared in the tales of famous men www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4861358-george-orwells-wife

We’re going to need a new thread in a minute.

We have one - link upthread.

Oh yes, sorry, musta missed it!

The link again for missers like me:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4861150-womens-rights-general-conversations-thread-6

https://twitter.com/moleatthedoor/status/1686025392790929408?s=19

Mole updated the bud can

Good to know that the facial surgery was actually possumization.

Heh, I sometimes see adverts with actors humiliating themselves and think “3 years at drama school and look what you have to do for money”. Mulvaney reminds me of them.

Then there was that advert about the woman host of a dinner party desperately trying not to bring out the Ferrero Roche (or After Eights or whatever they were), and after running out of excuses can’t help herself saying “Don’t eat them all!”, and thought she was the most fantastic actor, she got that line exactly right.

I wish he'd done 100 days of possum-hood.