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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Video of Starbucks employee in UK branch

1000 replies

FisherthemsFriend · 08/05/2023 11:11

https://twitter.com/RupertMyers/status/1655477645184835586

It’s not clear what the customer said, it’s presumed she misgenders the employee as he calls her transphobic. He calls her Karen and then either grabs the phone or the person who’s filming.

https://twitter.com/RupertMyers/status/1655477645184835586

OP posts:
Thread gallery
49
StarbucksKaren · 10/05/2023 11:37

changed my entire name, many years ago. My original first name was Karen.

So if anyone calls me Karen these days, they'll be not just misnaming me but deadnaming me, which as we all know carries a 1,000 year prison sentence.

@ifIwerenotanandroid yes at least 1,000 years and throw away the key!!!

If I’m the process of deadnaming and misnaming they used Karen as a slur on you then they’re a bigot too - triple whammy hate crime

StarbucksKaren · 10/05/2023 11:38
  • if IN the process
lifeturnsonadime · 10/05/2023 11:39

Misses the point, but whenever I think of Karen I think of that sweet little girl from Outnumbered!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 10/05/2023 11:41

StarbucksKaren · 10/05/2023 11:37

changed my entire name, many years ago. My original first name was Karen.

So if anyone calls me Karen these days, they'll be not just misnaming me but deadnaming me, which as we all know carries a 1,000 year prison sentence.

@ifIwerenotanandroid yes at least 1,000 years and throw away the key!!!

If I’m the process of deadnaming and misnaming they used Karen as a slur on you then they’re a bigot too - triple whammy hate crime

3,000 years, then.

DevilinaCardigan · 10/05/2023 12:28

Datun · 10/05/2023 00:06

I'm still trying to work out how, according to India Willoughby, the Mumsnet mafia managed to get the, er, person, to throw Vanessa's bag in the air, throw her out, and smash a plate glass window, before getting them to don their coat and run away.

Damn, we're good.

Wow the Mumsnet Mafia are good. Can I get them to come over and get DH to put his fucking dishes in the dishwasher without being asked? And get DS to do his homework with out whinge of epic proportions?

nilsmousehammer · 10/05/2023 12:55

DevilinaCardigan · 10/05/2023 12:28

Wow the Mumsnet Mafia are good. Can I get them to come over and get DH to put his fucking dishes in the dishwasher without being asked? And get DS to do his homework with out whinge of epic proportions?

Sorry, the mafia doesn't cover this. Get out a toilet brush however and AIBU will charge you down without mercy.

StarbucksKaren · 10/05/2023 13:23

lifeturnsonadime · 10/05/2023 11:39

Misses the point, but whenever I think of Karen I think of that sweet little girl from Outnumbered!

Me too 😂😂😂

Actually we really could do with her to head up the ‘reclaim Karen’ movement

Xenia · 10/05/2023 13:31

None of us want to be nasty to anyone struggling with their identity, but that does not excluse the Starbucks trans staff members from being appalling to this lady.

I must say this thread has reminded me of this very funny sequence......

I´m a lady - Emily Howard Compilation - Little Britain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5ykpBEy95I

BreadInCaptivity · 10/05/2023 13:37

Well the DM isn't letting this story drop.

They've updated it and are questioning why SB's haven't apologised to the woman and her partner nor issued a refund..

Woman accused of Starbucks 'transphobia' says she feared for her life
mol.im/a/12067759

TheaBrandt · 10/05/2023 13:59

Well every Karen I have met has been a good sort - unlike Jacqui s who are the devil incarnate

RocketPanda · 10/05/2023 14:07

Aw I want to be in the mumsnet mafia. I'm bald from chemo and a tad portly and in the right lighting bear an uncanny resemblance to Al Capone.

RealityFan · 10/05/2023 14:10

Every woman...and man...should go into Starbucks and say when asked they're Karen.

Not just Karen, but A Karen, one of many.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 10/05/2023 14:12

RocketPanda · 10/05/2023 14:07

Aw I want to be in the mumsnet mafia. I'm bald from chemo and a tad portly and in the right lighting bear an uncanny resemblance to Al Capone.

PM me your address, I'll send you some spats and a splurge gun. Use responsibly.

RocketPanda · 10/05/2023 14:22

@SirSamVimesCityWatch excellent. I shall invest in a snazzy hat and a pinstripe three piece.

On a more serious note I still stand by my original statement that this poor woman was caught up in a violent males rage fantasy solidified by his disappearing act.

Fladdermus · 10/05/2023 14:42

Datun · 10/05/2023 09:45

This might be viewed as belabouring the point, but to me, it's quite important to unpick why women are more likely to accept men who have been castrated. Understandable though it is.

We had a woman on here once who was describing what it's like in a rape refuge.

The women who work there were instructed to wear soft soled shoes, every area was carpeted, and they were told to not slam doors or raise their voices. Even laughing out loud was to be controlled.

This is because the sound of a heavy foot fall, or a door slamming, or a raised voice could send the women recovering into an involuntary panic.

That's how male violence works to damage women.

These woman don't stop to think, hang on, is that slamming door, raised voice, or footsteps behind me a woman or a man, or a man with a penis, or without one? Hmm let me ponder that.

Sometimes women just need single sex spaces. And it's not realistic, or appropriate for those women to grade men on whether they should be given free access to them.

Because, and I've said this before, make no mistake, it's the women in those spaces that are important. Their presence is crucial. The space itself is irrelevant. It's access to the women in it that provides the validation.

Absolutely, 100%. And that fear reaction to the noise men make never leaves you. I've been out of an abusive relationship for 30 years now but still I freeze in terror at the sound of an 'angry' male voice. Even my lovely, gentle husband's. My head tells me he's just expressing pain/surprise that the tin of beans has fallen out of the cupboard on him and that's it, but my body goes into terror mode.

I wonder what this person would have done if the woman reacted to their aggression like I would, by dropping into a 'survival ball' and crying hysterically.

StarbucksKaren · 10/05/2023 14:46

RealityFan · 10/05/2023 14:10

Every woman...and man...should go into Starbucks and say when asked they're Karen.

Not just Karen, but A Karen, one of many.

Brilliant @RealityFan yes men too!! Love it.

If everyone is A Karen no one need fear being called Karen……

Vanessa (StarbucksKaren) paved the way when she spoke up and stood her ground without recourse to verbal abuse - before and after the Starbucks manager said ‘get out Karen’

Datun · 10/05/2023 15:00

Fladdermus · 10/05/2023 14:42

Absolutely, 100%. And that fear reaction to the noise men make never leaves you. I've been out of an abusive relationship for 30 years now but still I freeze in terror at the sound of an 'angry' male voice. Even my lovely, gentle husband's. My head tells me he's just expressing pain/surprise that the tin of beans has fallen out of the cupboard on him and that's it, but my body goes into terror mode.

I wonder what this person would have done if the woman reacted to their aggression like I would, by dropping into a 'survival ball' and crying hysterically.

💐 Fladdermus.

Women have many reasons to need sex segregation. And shouldn't have to be put on the spot for any of them. Just wanting it is enough.

And I do understand why some women believe that a post operative man is different. But firstly, no it isn't. In terms of behaviour, statistics, or fact.

But more importantly, it won't be 'different' for the women in that space. The women whose bloody space it is.

ScrollingLeaves · 10/05/2023 15:11

From the latest DM

She added: 'I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I've got no problems with whatever gender people want to be. It was a genuine mistake because as far as I could see the person behind the counter was female

I presumed the person behind the counter was female just from their size’and demeanour, as far as that was visible, even before we heard that they had been the ‘misgendered’ one.

Looking at this enlarged screen shot, from the time when the manager was yelling at the customer and calling her transphobic, I do not blame the customer at all for having having referred to person behind the bar as the “lady”.

Video of Starbucks employee in UK branch
ScrollingLeaves · 10/05/2023 15:16

RealityFan · Today 14:10
Every woman...and man...should go into Starbucks and say when asked they're Karen.

Not just Karen, but A Karen, one of many

Especially as in some they write your name on the cup.

RealityFan · 10/05/2023 15:25

I really would, however I'm loathe to spend my hard earned on overpriced dishwater, so this Karen is spending his (lol) money elsewhere.

Good thing I don't like Bud Light chemical slop either.

ErrolTheDragon · 10/05/2023 16:03

I wonder if Mark Jones (see upthread) is still using the name Karen? Or the infamous Karen White!

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 10/05/2023 16:05

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 09/05/2023 23:29

Voldemort?

Joking aside, please don't name him if you know who he is. Public speculation about the events along with his name could be argued as being prejudicial to a fair trial, should he end up in court for criminal damage and assault.

an excellent point (though I wasn't planning on it anyway)

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/05/2023 17:50

DevilinaCardigan · 10/05/2023 12:28

Wow the Mumsnet Mafia are good. Can I get them to come over and get DH to put his fucking dishes in the dishwasher without being asked? And get DS to do his homework with out whinge of epic proportions?

We aren't miracle workers.

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