My favourite local chain coffee shop (not Starbucks) had a barista who was clearly a woman, but who wore a "He/Him" pronoun badge. (She made great coffee, btw!)
But a couple of weeks earlier I'd interacted with her at my gym, when she asked my PT about a weighted vest while he was taking me for a session. So I chatted with her about her training for a try out for the Army. I figure if someone interrupts MY session, I can talk to them - although a lot of the time people ignore me & just talk to my trainer (it annoys me, but that's another thread).
It made me think - she was clearly female, but her own mental illness (can't describe it as anything else - she looked almost anorexic and very nervy at the gym) was requiring me to deny the evidence of my own eyes. The cognitive dissonance felt awful, and yet I felt compassion that she was obviously going through something.
I stopped using that café branch.
Sorry a bit off-topic, I s'pse, but akin to the OP in that as a customer, I was being required to deny my own experience in any engagement with that barista.
It's an example of the difficult moments we face when one doesn't want to be rude/unkind/transphobic about an individual, but one does NOT want to succumb or acquiesce to a dangerous ideology, such as transactivist extremist gender ideology.