What have people done when asked pronouns? (but are not trans ideologists)

[newbookonshelf]

I've never been asked my pronouns but I wonder what I would say if I was. I WFH so never come up. I think I may say 'none' , 'you pick' , or maybe 'the' or simply 'what do you mean?'

So I'm just wondering how people do respond to this if they are not gender/trans ideologists. I'm looking for examples and what happened when you said it.

Just say 'I do not state my pronouns.' Or 'Why do you want to know?' if it's a one-to-one situation. Or ignore the question (might be best approach for a so-called pronoun round).

I've been in 'pronoun-round' type situations, ignored the prompt and nothing happened.

Been in a few situations where people have started meetings with "we'll go round and everyone give their name and pronouns". I've just given my name. Never been pressed on it. If I was, I was planning to say "no thanks. I don't do that" or similar

Same for me.

"Oh, ok, you can just use the ones appropriate to my sex"

I had to pick pronouns for a job application recently. I went with ‘other’ and said I found being asked very intrusive.

I'm born female and identify as female but I'm happy with being asked as I feel then that everyone gets to be addressed the way that they prefer.

You shouldn't be using pronouns to address anyone

I offer male pronouns and watch people stumbling over themselves trying to refer to me correctly.

But to address your point about everyone being comfortable

I am not at all comfortable

I am female and very clearly so

Beyond biology I don't see how I am more like other women than men

If I had any choice I'd prefer people to think of me as a man because it's always seemed the better option - respect , free from discrimination, what's not to like ?

I never corrected anyone who has mistaken me for male before they meet me

But if I say he/him I would not be treated like other men because I am so clearly female that my preference would not get any respect

AlwaysLatte, you either are a female, or you are a man who “identifies” as female, but you can’t be both - they are mutually exclusive!

I like it.

What if you did "she/he" ?

Yes I don't "Identify as female" because I don't need to.

I once said ‘I do not support that ideology and I don’t think it is appropriate to be asked this question in the workplace’

the external trainer looked like a goldfish for a while and then carried on around the circle. I’d say the majority of people after me did not state their pronouns.

I was asked by my DN while playing Barbie's. I just said this Barbie doesn't believe in gender so just use the one corresponding to her sex but I felt abit silly and wished I'd made up one instead.

'I don't have any.' Same with star signs, I don't have one.

'Eh?'

I had to fill in a form for the charity I volunteer for and there was a box for my pronouns. The staff member administering the form has pronouns in her email signature so I was aware she is all in favour of such things. I left the box blank in the end, and no comment was made.

Most of the volunteers are older retired ladies and most of them left it blank too, one of two queried why they were asking, got a very waffly 'inclusivity' explanation, and also left the box blank, none the wiser.

I've never been asked but I would like to think I'd say 'he/him, when do I get my rise?'

‘Gender is a social construct rooted in misogyny and my right to that belief is protected under the Equalities Act’.

It’s a bit long-winded I know and I haven’t been asked yet, just quietly not added them to my email unlike practically everyone else at my work. On a zoom training we were encouraged to add them to our screen name but nobody chased me when I didn’t.

I am still looking for a punchier one. I do like fck and orf.

There're always - 'no thank you'.

Go for

"compelling the use of pronouns is forcing people in to the uncomfortable position of outing themselves or forcing them to stay hidden, I therefore refuse to be part of making people uncomfortable."

I couldn't even envisage anyone asking me that question to my face. I'm old(ish) and a little intimidating. If any poor soul did ask me that question, then I would let rip. The usual - 'of course it's 'she' you absolute tool, I've been a woman all my life, do I not look like a woman, why am I being asked this, I've been on this planet (X) number of decades, why has the world gone fucking mad ... ' and so on.

I actually like yours!
I am also dodging the email police and hoping it doesn’t become an issue.

I would say that I don’t care how other people refer to me when I’m not there. If I was feeling stroppy I’d say I generally use sex based pronouns for everyone, as I don’t believe in gender ideology or compelled speech.