What have people done when asked pronouns? (but are not trans ideologists)

[newbookonshelf]

I've never been asked my pronouns but I wonder what I would say if I was. I WFH so never come up. I think I may say 'none' , 'you pick' , or maybe 'the' or simply 'what do you mean?'

So I'm just wondering how people do respond to this if they are not gender/trans ideologists. I'm looking for examples and what happened when you said it.

My pronoun is 'I'.

I can't be responsible for what pronouns others use. Can I?

See how often I used 'I' there.

I think in a group setting you can get away with omiting it - and then everyone else follows.

Put in the spot, I'd just say, " I dont do that"

What I'd like to say to some of the idiots in my organisation with pronouns in their email signature is "FFS, at least chose a subject/object pronoun rather than a possessive pronoun". You'd almost think they'd not heard of pronouns before 🙄

I just don't bother stating mine and have never been questioned about it.

If I am, I'll just point out that surely it's most inclusive to have a mixture, as some gender nonconforming people won't be comfortable having to state pronouns, so I'm ensuring that the group has a mixture of pronoun staters and non-staters.

My daughter, young, not intimidating, but definitely self-confident rolled her eyes, indicated her body and said “I’m a woman, obviously” in a tone that indicated scorn.

God I'd love to meet some women like this in day to day life.

At my last job one of the younglings suggested we get everyone to do it because "inclusive". I said no thanks, I won't be doing that. At least, not until we've solved sexism.

The first time I was asked I just gave them, though I rather regret it now, I was so surprised.

Subsequently I have just never done it, although I've never been asked so directly again. I think I would just go with "I don't care" or "use whatever you think is appropriate".

my boss tried this one I said my pronoun was her majesty she was not impressed.

Yeah I had 'Your Imperial Majesty' on my twitter profile.... long story but I'm regent for my niece who is the Future Empress of the Universe but currently occupied with riding and Strictly.

“No, thank you”.

I’ll leave it to them to work out whether that’s a statement or my pronouns

I would like to think I would say that pronouns are a function of grammar not a marker of identity and as such please speak to me as you would have if you had met in before pronouns checks existed. But I suspect I'd just ignore the question or say I don't feel comfortable with the question. So far have never been asked.

Surely this encourages transphobia? As you're saying to a person that you're of questionable gender and you're going to have to tell us what your are.

Giving someone your pronouns is odd when you think about it because you’re not addressed by them when you’re with others. It’s usually when you’re being talked about that they’re used and then you’re not there to notice! Am I being an idiot here?! Sorry if I’m being obtuse

I’ve not been asked yet and in my workplace I’d be worried to say I don’t believe in the ideology but also by answering the question with my pronouns it’s like saying I’m ok with the question. It’s a head fuck

You shouldn't be using pronouns to address anyone

That doesn't really work though, partly because 'you' is a pronoun, so yes you should be using pronouns to address people, and also because why assume they are only asking for pronouns to address people directly, rather than alao to refer to them in front of other people?

I'm no genderist and I'd refuse to state my pronouns. I'd probably say either 'No thanks' or 'The pronouns used for the female sex, as I am female'.

If I didn’t want the job I was filling in the interview availability online form for, I’d have gone with ‘he/him, if it improves the chances of you hiring me and paying me in the upper reaches of the pay scale’.

Because, let’s face it… 😮‍💨

OP, if asked directly you might say 'I don't believe in gender ideology so I use sex-appropriate pronouns.' The law supports your right to this.

First person singular (i.e. what @Jewel1968 said)!

But someone is asking what your prounouns are, then surely they must know what first person singular means?!

I'll be meeting someone at work tomorrow and I would never consider not using their preferred pronouns, but given the role of gender ideology in their life it does feel like colluding. Like telling someone that taking a medication overdose is a healthy way of managing their trauma.

So for me, I'd ignore it where I could and just say 'I don't know' if asked. It is so fucking painful to be forced into this gynophobia.

I'd love to reference an old vine and run past them very fast yelling "I'M A GIRAFFE" (you never know who might get it) but I'd probably just clam up. If I was feeling brave I might sigh. No thanks is probably my favourite among these.

PermanentTemporary - years ago a guy I worked with talked of a friend who for her whole adult life obsessed over suicide. When she finally did it his way of dealing with it was to treat it as her finally getting what she wanted, and he was... happy for her. I was gobsmacked into silence, I was pretty young. I've been thinking about that a lot lately.

I'm in a regular team meeting with partners from a number of institutions where we're often encouraged to share pronouns. I do what every man does, completely ignore it. I'm now the only female not declaring.

If I had to, I'd go with a weekly changing xenogender. Starting with the weather ones as those feel more truthful to my delicate, ever changing, absolutely fascinating personality.

I like these responses. Down to earth.

Possibly adding, "Do you really think I look like a transwoman or a transman? In which case, let's just try to pick that apart, shall we?"

I refuse to put my pronouns on my email signature. My name is traditionally very feminine so there we go it's obvious.

Damn, the message I was responding to did not copy. It was this, posted by PriOn1 · Today 18:57, quoting

boddidoil · Today 18:11

I couldn't even envisage anyone asking me that question to my face. I'm old(ish) and a little intimidating. If any poor soul did ask me that question, then I would let rip. The usual - 'of course it's 'she' you absolute tool, I've been a woman all my life, do I not look like a woman, why am I being asked this, I've been on this planet (X) number of decades, why has the world gone fucking mad ... ' and so on.

And PriOn1 responded to that:

My daughter, young, not intimidating, but definitely self-confident rolled her eyes, indicated her body and said “I’m a woman, obviously” in a tone that indicated scorn.

Yes, this!