What have people done when asked pronouns? (but are not trans ideologists)

[newbookonshelf]

I've never been asked my pronouns but I wonder what I would say if I was. I WFH so never come up. I think I may say 'none' , 'you pick' , or maybe 'the' or simply 'what do you mean?'

So I'm just wondering how people do respond to this if they are not gender/trans ideologists. I'm looking for examples and what happened when you said it.

Well yes, if TW literally were W or passed as W everyone would use the pronouns typically used for W.

The fact they have to force people and declare pronouns says it all really.

Yes, exactly.

It's a case of trans-identified people (whatever that means) not passing as the opposite sex or non-binary (whatever that means), and they are being correctly observed by others to be their actual sex rather than the "gender" thing in their mind; and them trying to order everyone else to Be Told.

No. Don't have the time or headspace for this kind of narcissism in anyone.

Don't have the time or headspace for this kind of narcissism in anyone.

I think this point about headspace is really important. It would be really draining and mentally hard to remember that person x who you work with and that - to all intents and purposes - your brain processes as male, in fact views themselves as female and so wants to be called ‘she’.

It reminds me of the picture of that dress that went viral a few years ago and some people saw it as silver and blue, others as grey and pink. You can’t just force yourself to see what you don’t see, and if your brain tells you you’re seeing a bloke then it would be hugely mentally draining to constantly override that perfectly sensible and logical thought.

Even if it was your daughter, friend or colleague? And they were in earshot?

I have ignored being asked to put pronouns on my email signature. As have all of my colleagues except my TRA manager.

I have not yet been asked verbally but I have decided to say "No thank you, I don't have a gender identity". Even my TRA manager can't tell me off for that as by her own logic not having a gender identity makes me agender and therefore trans so part of the oppressed group.

Of course. Why would I enforce cognitive dissonance on myself and pretend I see a reality that I don't see? It takes up excess neuro power and over time will affect my mental health and my ability to discern the true from the false. What purpose would that serve me or my daughters, friends and colleagues?

We shouldn't need to give our pronouns. They are she/her for us females and he/him for the rest. Stop with this bollocks!!!!! 😡

Understood. I don't find that easy to do. It's so hard when it affects those close to you.

Also I'm not lucky enough to have a job where there's no risk of being disciplined for wrongspeak.

Don't you ever say to anyone "so, now can you tell us what you think?"

And in what way is you sexed or gendered

Deeper apologies for not clarifying that I meant the he she pronouns not the you one but I thought form the context it was clear

However in a group setting it is possible to get into "Sarah has been working in system and now she will tell us about it "

I’d been preparing as I figured it was going to happen at my new job. Sure enough, they asked everyone to introduce themselves, “names and pronouns”. I just ignored the second it. If they’d pushed I was going to say “well, I’m probably not there when you’re saying it, so I don’t mind”. After that the batshittery intensified, but surprisingly they let me not state my pronouns.

Bonkersworknonsense

That would be a good answer if pressed. “well, I’m probably not there when you’re saying it, so I don’t mind”.

Very sensible, hopefully neutral enough in the current climate. But the fact that women have to worry about this issue is very sad. We can't even say we're just women.

My work database was updated by changing 'gender' to 'sex' and the box 'pronouns ' was added.

A bit of a nonsense when the addressee automatically generates
Mr & Mrs Edward Smith.
Seems the real problem is being overlooked.

Don't you ever say to anyone "so, now can you tell us what you think?"

😂😂🤡

In meetings and emails you refer to people by name not he/ she. Which makes announcing them in meetings utterly pointless. Yes when talking directly to them then ‘you’ is used but how does knowing their pronouns help with that?

I’m still waiting for this to happen. I think in our wokey company HR for now are winning out on it as there has never been any pressure.

However in a group setting it is possible to get into "Sarah has been working in system and now she will tell us about it "

I would say ‘is going to update us’, that is convoluted to get a gendered pronoun in.

I recall a teacher that that refused to use a pupil's pronouns but used their preferred name.

They were fired from their post.

Although this was is the US.

In their latest fundraising event, my old college asked for my pronouns on their booking form. I replied that as an alumna they should be able to guess. When I attended , it was a female college, no blokes, not even amongst tutors or staff (only porters).

i also declined the invitation.

I've not actively been asked for my pronouns at work although there is the facility on email signatures. The CEO and a sprinkling of heads of department and other colleagues do.

Yup, that's what I do.

Although I think if someone pressed me, I'd say "I'm not comfortable with that."

If pressed further I would cite research which suggests that when women draw attention to their sex, they attract negative responses, or trigger other people's unconscious sexist bias.

If pressed further I would cite research which suggests that when women draw attention to their sex, they attract negative responses, or trigger other people's unconscious sexist bias.

I plan to do this if I’m asked to add my pronouns to my work email signature. We have a new CEO who puts his pronouns in his bio, so change might be afoot.

I have an unusual first name which isn’t obviously a woman’s name, and I’m glad of this at times. I shall say that I’d rather not draw attention to my sex, as I find there’s still a lot of sexism in the industry. They won’t be able to deny this.

I also like the idea of asking which of the other protected characteristics we should declare! It’s funny how only one seems to matter.

'My pronouns are ... irrelevant'.

Just bumping this for @DublinFemale

I noticed that Linked in invited me to add my pronouns. Ffs! So far so captured