School allowing boy to change in girls changing room secondary school

[Saffy6]

Hi my teenage daughter has told me there is a boy who identifies as a girl changing with the girls in their communal changing room. I have emailed the school who have confirmed this and stated that cases are dealt with individually but in most cases “trans students would have access to the changing room or toilet that corresponds to their gender identity. This approach is supported by the equality act 2010” None of the parents have been informed. Some of the girls are uncomfortable but do not feel they can say anything as they are afraid of being accused of transphobia.

My other daughter in year 9 has 3 girls in her class now identifying as boys (changed name and pronouns). Surely if they want to change in the boys changing rooms they will be allowed to too?

I’ve contacted safe schools alliance and I intend to challenge this policy. My question is, is this the norm? What is your schools policy on transgender kids and changing rooms and has anyone been in a similar position where you challenged this policy and what was the outcome?

Not sure Saffy6 why the safeguarding teacher is contacting you? This is a school policy decision that forces girls to undress in front of a boy who self identifies as a girl. So the Head needs to own the school policies that openly breach the Equality Act that allows for single sex spaces.
Have you looked at the school's complaints procedure? If they fail to respond in a timely manner then you could initiate a complaint. Make it formal.

Yes they absolutely do have a legal requirement to support all pupils and yet not one single one of those girls have been asked how they feel about allowing boys into the changing rooms. Neither has one single parent been informed. There are children there who’s religion forbids them for undressing in front of boys. I would say that the school has failed miserably in their duty to all pupils apart from the boy who’s feelings have been the only one taken into account.

yeah, let's not only put the story of this poor pupil all over the school (social media) let's get it in the paper!

Nobody has been asked how they feel yet you say several girls are uncomfortable.

I imagine the boy in question is more uncomfortable than the girls.

You didn't answer my question. would it be OK if the pupil was a lesbian female?

Teaching your daughter she can just refuse to do things and it's perfectly OK is not the answer.

Why not? Are girls not allowed boundaries?

Not in that manner.

What would you do if it was in your job? Resign?

If the boy is uncomfortable, then what is he doing on the girls changing room?
And lesbians are girls and women. HTH.

I understand that. No need for the sarcasm.

What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength.

It's the fallacy that he might look at her or fancy her.

Which by the way so might a lesbian girl.

On the uncomfortable part - as much as MN would have you believe otherwise, transgender isn't a barrel of laughs.

OP I don't disagree with your post. I get it. I get that you're uncomfortable about it (but I think you've extended that to the girls).

But what every single post on here has forgotten is the other child.

Forum keyboarding, get them removed, go to the head, etc etc is all well and good.

What would you guys do if this was your son who was being put on snapchat, facebook. in the paper, because of a decision the school took?

What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength

so there should be mixed sex changing rooms in school?

bold move

I didn't say that.

That's what people do when they can't answer the question.

Which you didn't.

stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
"What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength".

It's part of the social contract in society. Respect for others, for boundaries and the right to say no. The majority of women and girls prefer not to undress, shower, sleep and otherwise be vulnerable in front of unknown males. For all sorts of reasons - religious, abuse, previous experiences - but the reasons really don't matter.
Women and girls are entitled to say no. No is a complete sentence.

I don't understand why schools aren't just following the Equality Act. Schools should provide single sex changing rooms and toilets. Neither teenage boys or girls want the opposite sex in the changing room with them, my son would be very uncomfortable if a girl was using the male toilets and changing with him.

The solution that supports everyone is that everyone uses the toilets and changing facilities that align with their biological sex. If a child is uncomfortable with this then the school should provide alternative provision. This then respects every individual and I can't see why anyone would be unhappy with this.

I would not like my son to be on snapchat or whatever else it was you said, I would endeavour to stop anyone from doing it

but you think its ok to have mixed sex changing rooms

you literally just said it

What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength.

The problem is the girls are entitled to a single sex space. To get changed in a space without boys there.

For dignity, for privacy. Frankly for any damn reason they please, girls are allowed to say no to boys.

All of them HTH

Teaching our daughters that they can say no and refuse to do things is part of the point, actually.

I'd be honest with my child, like other parents on here are being to respect others boundaries and talking with the school. It's called having and teaching responsibility.

How do you know the girls aren't just as or more uncomfortable than the boy? Are you really saying it's fine for young girls to see boys penises and they should get used to it?

Well for one, a lesbian girl is not going to get a boner around another girl.

As a parent I'd be furious with the school for not doing their job properly and causing inevitable complaints which draw attention to my son.

You know, I think I would very much question why the school think it's appropriate for my male child to change with the girls. In fact, I would be outraged on the girls's behalf and not pander to my son's demands

Would you be happy with a trans boy having to get changed in the boys changing room?

Yes it would be absolutely fine. I explained to my children along time ago that it was perfectly acceptable to be gay and if they were gay I would love them as much as I do now. I have also corrected them if I have ever heard them say anything remotely homophobic and would give them hell if they were rude to this boy. I have no malice towards the boy. He should have been offered his own space to change. The school have handled the situation badly And actually there are plenty of lesbians and gay men who would be adamant that they should have a right to same sex places.

You don’t have to answer a question before you make a comment

its not a rule

plus it would take ages as in theory you’d have to answer everyone’s questions

OK.

So the teacher says will you get changed in the boys changing room and he says no.

Now what? Is he allowed boundaries?

When posters visit this board and demonstrate, loudly and proudly, a complete lack of respect for women and girls, and of safeguarding, do they realise that we see them? Massive red flag.