School allowing boy to change in girls changing room secondary school

[Saffy6]

Hi my teenage daughter has told me there is a boy who identifies as a girl changing with the girls in their communal changing room. I have emailed the school who have confirmed this and stated that cases are dealt with individually but in most cases “trans students would have access to the changing room or toilet that corresponds to their gender identity. This approach is supported by the equality act 2010” None of the parents have been informed. Some of the girls are uncomfortable but do not feel they can say anything as they are afraid of being accused of transphobia.

My other daughter in year 9 has 3 girls in her class now identifying as boys (changed name and pronouns). Surely if they want to change in the boys changing rooms they will be allowed to too?

I’ve contacted safe schools alliance and I intend to challenge this policy. My question is, is this the norm? What is your schools policy on transgender kids and changing rooms and has anyone been in a similar position where you challenged this policy and what was the outcome?

true, but you avoided my point and made another random point, without addressing the question I asked.

You dont have to answer, but equally you dont have to comment.

Okay. So they're fine with someone who might fancy them and look at them but not someone who might have zero interest in them but has gasp a penis.

Mmm of course he can say no. He can then get changed in another area. I don't get the point you're making. There will be plenty of areas he can change that will protect his and everyone else's boundaries. Win win all round, surely? I mean I doubt he would want to make the girls uncomfortable would he?

Youre very naive if you think your son isnt on social media.

Please quote where I said "it is ok to have mixed sex changing rooms" I'd love to see it.

What I said was

"What is the problem with mixed sex changing rooms?" if you are unable to answer that, that's not my problem

So they're fine with someone who might fancy them and look at them but not someone who might have zero interest in them but has gasp a penis.

you might be a bit slow on the uptake but you get there eventually! 👏👏👏

Why can't the daughter get changed in another area?

I doubt they would want him to feel uncomfortable, would they?

See my point?

So the teacher says will you get changed in the boys changing room and he says no.

Now what? Is he allowed boundaries?

Of course. They (not sure why you refer to a trans girl as she....?) should be offered a separate changing room or be allowed to change in the loo.

You dont have to answer, but equally you dont have to comment

absolutely

but i choose to comment…

ive answered the question…are you still saying that you think changing rooms in schools should be mixed sex?

Your username suits you.

*he

No, and I never said that in the first place.

erm, find me where I said she?

A trans girl is not a "they", btw.

I agree on the separate changing room.

In the loo! oh how lovely. let's alienate them further.

We cross posted

so you dont think that the school should have agreed to the male child being in the female changing rooms

apologies…i thought you were saying its ok

You've said you don't see the problem with trans girls (which you use the pronoun he....) sharing changing rooms with girls - that by definition makes them mixed sex - trans girls are male. Males sharing with females makes it mixed sex

stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

Have you ever thought about why you have such a problem with girls and women having boundaries and saying no?
Might be worth a bit of thinking about.

I deffo think they should have been offered another place to change if they felt uncomfortable in the make changing room

Stil waiting for you to quote where I said that.

• erm, find me where I said she?

A trans girl is not a "they", btw.

I agree on the separate changing room.*

I mistyped. You refer to a trans girl as he. Which is odd....

Male obviously

ffs

There are many reasons for single sex changing rooms, one of which is safeguarding. The majority of children and parents and in fact society, expects single sex provision of such facilities. Boys and girls both need to be comfortable and have privacy from the opposite sex when changing for sport or using the toilets etc. If a pupil is unhappy using the facilities for their sex then they can ask to use a separate facility. What is so difficult about this?

Okay. So they're fine with someone who might fancy them and look at them but not someone who might have zero interest in them but has gasp a penis.

Declaring a trans girl identity tells us nothing about that person's sexual orientation, though statistics suggest that the vast majority of male-to-female transitioners retain their original orientation (interest in girls and women).

Because the changing room is for girls and she is a girl. She doesnt need to go anywhere else

Because I don't think womens rights trump mens. Simple as that.

And I live in the real world, where saying "no" doesnt magically turn you into a superhero. If I object to it at work, and resign, will everyone stand up and applaud? No, I'll have no job, and the bank doesn't take principles.

to be clear, I don't think that mixed sex changing rooms should be allowed. I simply asked what the solution was and nobody had an answer.

I think the needs of everyone should be balanced, which i said on page1.

Stil waiting for you to quote where I said that

I literally just apologised for thinking that youd said mixed sex changing rooms were ok

now I understand that you DON’T think the transgirl should have been in the female changing rooms

Correct.

So are we not going to let a 12 year old (traumatised, if you believe everyone on this thread) into a room in case he is a predator to a girl? How is he any different to a 12 year old girl who is sexually attracted to woman?

You make a good point. A male becoming female is no sexual orientation, yes?
so why are we horrified about this in a girls changing room yet not absolutely fine with a girl who fancies other girls?

Statistics are interesting but theyre based on adults, and the majority of kids dont transition.