Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"Lesbians a look at women in changing rooms too"

121 replies

ExtraPlinky · 07/02/2022 17:18

This is the latest TRA response -
Some variation of "it's ok for men to share intimate spaces with women because lesbians and female predators exist too."

And shockingly I'm seeing women posting this usually then joined by the NotAllMenMan saying NotAllMen.

OP posts:
DomesticatedZombie · 07/02/2022 17:50

labs.la.utexas.edu/mestonlab/sexual-paraphilias/

'voyeurism is rare in women,'

... I'll stop now. There are many studies on this, and it's very clear that it's not women that women are concerned about, for good reason.

RVN123 · 07/02/2022 17:50

Well, a lesbian isn't going to rape me with their male penis are they?
And I won't get pregnant if I'm raped by a woman will I?

And she's not likely to be hugely stronger than I am is she?
And that the chances of a female being a sexual predator are TINY compared to the KNOWN FACT that 99% of sexual criminals are MALE.

Total homophobic unadulterated BULLSHIT.

Men don't belong in women's spaces. No matter how they identify.

delurkasaurus · 07/02/2022 17:55

That response - steeped in male entitlement as it is - should do a great job of getting the L out.

It would be good to have someone ask Nancy for her views on this too.

TheCurrywurstPrion · 07/02/2022 17:55

Well, a lesbian isn't going to rape me with their male penis are they?
And I won't get pregnant if I'm raped by a woman will I?

And she's not likely to be hugely stronger than I am is she?
And that the chances of a female being a sexual predator are TINY compared to the KNOWN FACT that 99% of sexual criminals are MALE.

And last but not least, she’s been there alongside us all her life. She’s not demanding entry to somewhere she has never, and will never belong.

Beamur · 07/02/2022 17:56

@FOJN

I have no idea how many lesbians I've shared a changing room with or how many of them (if any) might have looked at me but I do know not one of them has ever behaved inappropriately towards me.
Exactly this. I've never been made to feel uncomfortable or objectified by another woman. Men on the other hand, I have lost count of.
DomesticatedZombie · 07/02/2022 17:58

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

Bullshit.

They are projecting the behaviour of male predators on to lesbians, by assuming that lesbian women are men in women's bodies.

It doesn't work like that. Lesbians are women attracted to women. 99% of sexual offenders are male. As far as I can see, that female remainder is mostly composed of women who, far from being lesbians, are so male-centred they're willing to help their male partner abuse women to keep his attention!

Yes, exactly. It's projection.
Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/02/2022 17:59

@titchy

It's a very male view isn't it? They DO ogle people in a state of undress so assume that women do the same. Newsflash - they don't!
This! TRA continually demonstrate that they view the world through the male gaze. It is inconceivable to them that a woman attracted to women wouldn’t ogle naked women because that’s what men would do.

Their homophobia is disgusting - lesbians are attracted to women as are straight men. that doesn’t mean lesbians behave like men ffs

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/02/2022 17:59

I’m getting incoherent in my bloody rage now

KohlaParasaurus · 07/02/2022 18:01

There is no excuse for comparing lesbians with men who "identify" as women in order to access women's spaces, or even with well intentioned transwomen who just want to pee/have a shower after swimming/try on clothes. Absolutely no excuse, in any context. They can just fuck right off with that offensive nonsense.

Blossom64265 · 07/02/2022 18:03

Lesbians have the same body as me.

I don’t particularly want to see anyone else naked, but seeing a female body is distinctly different than encountering male genitalia. The sexual orientation of the person I see naked is irrelevant to my experience.

From a safety and privacy perspective, I have never seen any statistics that show that lesbians commit assaults at a rate different than women as a whole.

Snugglepumpkin · 07/02/2022 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Iluvfriends · 07/02/2022 18:16

This is outrageous.
Myself, my partner, my friends do not ever ogle other females anywhere, ever. This is just pure evil.
This movement needs to be fought against they are a dangerous lot.
Women are at serious risk here as are our daughters and granddaughters.
Why are female politicians eg happy to go along witb this nonsense.....what the hell is happening, the world has gone mad.

Is it those that shout the loudest .......well we women need to start hollering.

Justme56 · 07/02/2022 18:20

I recall a similar exchange on twitter where someone pointed out that by saying ‘but what about lesbians and women can be just as bad as men etc’ they were basically admitting that they didn’t see trans women as either lesbian or women.

MsFogi · 07/02/2022 18:25

FFS - talk about two steps backwards, suggesting that lesbians are predatory/a threat in order to advance the trans cause!

I am livid on behalf of my lesbian sisters!! I will happily share a changing room with any woman (gay, straight or bi) I absolutely will not share a changing room with a man (however he identifies). The men are a threat to me, the women are not.

BettyFilous · 07/02/2022 18:27

@FOJN

I have no idea how many lesbians I've shared a changing room with or how many of them (if any) might have looked at me but I do know not one of them has ever behaved inappropriately towards me.
100% agree. I’ve never once been made uncomfortable by another woman’s behaviour in changing rooms or any other shared space.
DomesticatedZombie · 07/02/2022 18:30

I will happily share a changing room with any woman (gay, straight or bi) I absolutely will not share a changing room with a man (however he identifies)

Same.

SantaClawsServiette · 07/02/2022 18:32

I think people who say this are generally not commenting on pedators, but on the idea that it is uncomfortable to be naked in a place where someone might be thinking about you sexually.

And that is an argument people have made at times, that they don't want someone they don't know thinking about their nudity sexually, even if they never know about it. Many people would feel somewhat or even very uncomfortable if we found out that some person we'd met casually was wanking off thinking about them in private. Others it wouldn't bother at all.

So on the one hand about why that makes people uncomfortable, and why on the other hand we tend to say that fantasies are fine as long as we keep them private. There is a bit of a "don't ask don't tell" element

My own sense is that in general, the preference not to be nude with opposite sex people isn't really about safety or even sexual desire, though those things are real. Because most women would also not like to change with their brother who they feel safe with and with whom there is no sexual element. But most would not mind changing with a lesbian who might be attracted to us as long as she wasn't behaving in an abnormal way.

It may be worth trying to articulate clearly what that's about because I find even some women, especially younger ones, seem to need a clear explanation before they "get" it. Sometimes people say it's about dignity which I think is true as far as it goes, but the question then is, why do people feel that changing with even a safe opposite sex person in these kinds of settings is undignified?

Floisme · 07/02/2022 18:35

No woman, regardless of sexual orientation, has ever:
Grabbed me by the crotch in a public bar while their mates cheered them on.
Kerb crawled me while walking home from school in my uniform.

Stroked my arse / thighs on a crowded bus.
Masturbated in the seat next to me in the cinema.
Catcalled or gesticulated at me from a passing car.
Followed me up the street asking for sex.
Called me a 'frigid bitch'.

Watch and learn Gentlemen, watch and learn.

Sexnotgender · 07/02/2022 18:38

There isn’t some great, hitherto unreported lesbian crime wave. Prisons aren’t full of lesbians who have committed sex crimes against women. Lesbians don’t murder 3 women a week.
It’s homophobic as fuck to use that argument.
Statistically, women are not a risk to other women. It’s men that are the risk, however they fucking “identify”.

I’m not even a lesbian and this gives me the absolute fucking rage. Cunts.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 07/02/2022 18:38

Today actually, in the health club changing rooms I saw a woman with the best set of legs I've seen in my life, super toned and great shape. I told her outright her legs were fab and asked what machines she used and what workout she was doing, she was so so lovely and not only talked me through her routine but we are meeting on Thursday so she can show me her sets herself, im so grateful!

And that's the difference isn't it, ogling and admiring! If I'm looking at a woman's body in that way (I don't make a habit of it 🤣) it's because I'm thinking damn you are killing it, I wonder what you are doing and can I copy it!? And that's ok in the safety of a woman's space, with other women who are building others up and asking for advice/inspo in that setting. It would be a very very different dynamic to have a man in that space and asking similar questions, wouldn't it?

DomesticatedZombie · 07/02/2022 18:39

Santa, that was my point when defining that voyeurism is a specific thing, and an issue we see almost entirely in males. And not okay.

Being in a space with someone who may look at our body and may have thoughts about it is not the same as being in a space with someone who specifically gets off on our non-consensual participation in their paraphilia.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 07/02/2022 18:39

For clarity I'm not a lesbian, just someone who really really really wants great thighs 😩

Pluvia · 07/02/2022 18:41

It's that male fantasy, isn't it, that expectation that women's changing rooms are full of fit women eyeing each other up, helping each other out of their sports bras and lycra and going off to the showers together to have steamy sex. Pouty lingering looks and 'Would you rub body lotion into my breasts for me, please?'

Whereas we, being women, know that women's changing rooms contain rather a lot of women trying to change discreetly without being seen to stare at each other's stretchmarks and bellies and breasts of varying degrees of sagginess. And most of us are mentally planning what we can rustle up for dinner that night, or trying to work out how many calories we've just burned off, or how to deal with the office psycho, or how we're going to find the money to pay the electricity bill or wondering where we can get replacement school shoes.

I'm a lesbian. I don't stare at other women in the changing rooms. I hope I've never made any woman feel uncomfortable, particularly if she's feeling vulnerable and exposed in public. Oh, and I'm really furious that pointing out that I use women's changing rooms should be seen as some kind of justification for men doing so too.

Sexnotgender · 07/02/2022 18:41

@FOJN

I have no idea how many lesbians I've shared a changing room with or how many of them (if any) might have looked at me but I do know not one of them has ever behaved inappropriately towards me.
I used to play rugby. Pretty much 95% of the team were lesbians. There was no inappropriate behaviour in the changing rooms. Everyone showered and just got on with it.

Because they’re WOMEN. Women aren’t the fucking issue.

bythere · 07/02/2022 18:45

"why do people feel that changing with even a safe opposite sex person in these kinds of settings is undignified?"

It's mostly about one's desire not to be seen by someone of the opposite sex regardless of that person's sexual orientation. Most women would not want a gay man in their changing room even though he wouldn't think of them sexually but because he's still the opposite sex.

Swipe left for the next trending thread