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Original poster

All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

532 replies

WandaWomblesaurus73 · 05/01/2022 21:08

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

OP posts:
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11
Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus73 · 06/01/2022 08:11

She said he couldn't fit them through his mask.

OP posts:
CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 06/01/2022 08:15

It's absolutely freezing here this morning. I put one foot out of bed and got back in. Now I'm busting for a wee.
I can only presume that's JKRs fault. Bewitching the weather and filling my bladder. Angry

ButtonSister · 06/01/2022 08:23

She comes into my house, takes all the necklace chains from my jewelry box and tangles them up together.

ThePrionOne · 06/01/2022 08:23

JKR ate my hamster AND she made her dog eat my guinea pig.

countrygirl99 · 06/01/2022 08:31

It's her fault I never got a pony as a child. Despite being younger than me.

ButtonSister · 06/01/2022 08:34

She shot Franz Ferdinand. And gave Marilyn Monroe the drugs that killed her.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 06/01/2022 08:36

JKR wrote Ron's character as being a bit rubbish because she hates Scottish people (who all have red hair).

Drivingish · 06/01/2022 08:40

JKR ate all my After Eights and left the wrappers in the box so I thought I still had loads left. And she ate all my biscuits and Jaffa Cakes. And made me have the weight gain for it. JKR creeps in the house and puts weight on me while I'm sleeping.

ButtonSister · 06/01/2022 08:40

@StrifeOfBath

However, to go against the grain, she did just cause me to win £25 on Premium Bonds.
Whatever you spend it on will be cursed though. A takeaway? You'll get food poisoning. A kitchen appliance? It will break on first use. A new hairdryer? Will burn your hair to a crisp. Best to give the money to Mermaids -although there's every chance they'll refuse it as it's tainted by association.
Drivingish · 06/01/2022 08:43

@StrifeOfBath

However, to go against the grain, she did just cause me to win £25 on Premium Bonds.
You actually won £30k but she kept the rest.
ButtonSister · 06/01/2022 08:45

I heard it on good authority she was there when poor Billy Joe MacAllister "jumped off" the Tallahatchie bridge.

Beowulfa · 06/01/2022 08:48

JKR wrote the lyrics to all of 2Unlimited's hits.

Beowulfa · 06/01/2022 08:53

JKR made the Student Union bar create cocktails made from lager, Irn Bru and out of date Bacardi Breezers, and then forced you to drink them.

ArabellaScott · 06/01/2022 08:55

Fucksake! Just discovered the half-eaten clementines JKR left in the kids' schoolbags at the end of term! Thanks very much, Jo, wee mouldy bombs going off first day back. Just spiffing.

ArabellaScott · 06/01/2022 08:56

ALSO she pissed on my chips.

BettyFilous · 06/01/2022 08:57

@StrifeOfBath

However, to go against the grain, she did just cause me to win £25 on Premium Bonds.
Heretic! Burn!
SleepOhHowIMissYou · 06/01/2022 09:00

It is her who bites the icing off the iced gems and leaves you a bag of spitty biscuits.

nansbigpants · 06/01/2022 09:02

JKR gave me and my family Covid just before Xmas, just for a laugh. This resulted in:

  • Me having Covid induced fatigue and brain fog in addition to menopausal brain fog and trouble sleeping
  • DH and the DC insisting that we re-run Xmas day again at the start of January when MIL is safe to visit (complete with full on Xmas dinner, Xmas music/TV etc). JKR is clearly fully aware that I find Xmas day a chore, hate Xmas music and TV and would rather have a day out with the family and a big take-away.
  • The DC now putting up a fuss about having to go back to school when they haven't had a 'real holiday'
TheyTookTheCrownButItsAllRight · 06/01/2022 09:07

I will never forgive her for killing off Fred, Lupin and Tonks.

BaronessWrongCrowdRex · 06/01/2022 09:11

It was minus 1 and very Frosty on the school run this morning. Obviously JKR can control the weather and it was her fault.

Lovelyricepudding · 06/01/2022 09:13

@BaronessWrongCrowdRex

It was minus 1 and very Frosty on the school run this morning. Obviously JKR can control the weather and it was her fault.
I like the frost - not so muddy
prudencepuffin · 06/01/2022 09:38

She sneaked in last night and left a badger in my house and now its gone and piled up all the cushions in the living room to make a den behind the sofa. And its demanding breakfast.

ParishSpinster · 06/01/2022 09:47

She overstretched all my hair bobbles so that when I try to put my hair up, they all snap. Every single one. She's dedicated, that JKR.

NitroNine · 06/01/2022 09:50

Did you accidentally sign up for some kind of extreme version of Sorting rather than the Hat prudencepuffin? Hmm Pretty full-on way to discover you’re a Hufflepuff, that.

Gryffindors everywhere become anxious… 🦁🗡

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 06/01/2022 09:52

JKR said I couldn't play with her, because my toys aren't as good as hers.

Then she called me a poo, and pulled my hood down over my face.