All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

Can’t find a biro, your keys, face mask or your bank card? JKR has magicked them away.
I went to a supermarket on the 2nd January JKR had been there first and put out hot cross buns, she’s crazy, at least put out the lovely crap Valentines stuff first.

She travelled back in time and forced a poor writer called George Orwell to write a book and promised him it would all come true and people would talk about it forever. She might have got the date a bit wrong too.

JKR made cream eggs smaller and got the shops to stock them this week!

She put cat hair on my clothes and magically made my toddler spread bread crumbs all over the living floor. She also caused me toothache by putting a curse spell on me.

JK Rowling is making the most mad of my cats howl at my bedroom door to wake me up at 2.21am.

She never puts DVDs back in the correct case!

You know when you schedule an appliance repair? JKR is on the other end of the line, taking down your details and discarding them immediately. You will wait all day by your broken dishwasher for help that will never come.

JKR, I have it on good authority, is the sole reason Tom Cruise cast himself as Jack Reacher. Her interfering persuasiveness is what did it.

Unforfuckengivable.

JKR made menopause and teenagers happen at the same time

SHE sold Cadbury's to Kraft, thus ruining chocolate for a whole nation

She writes Mrs Brown's Boys

I'm sure I could think of some more but due to JKR also causing me to suffer from debilitating insomnia (that bitch) I can't think of any at the moment.

She writes Mrs Brown's Boys

SHARKSALIVE!

you took that too far.

Also, insomnia - absolute awful with the insomnia.

solidarity, sister.

Fucking knackered, mate.

Sorry about The Mrs Brown's Boys crack. I'm just so pissed off with her about the insomnia. You are right, I retract it. The rest remains true though.

@ChaosTrulyReigns

JKR, I have it on good authority, is the sole reason Tom Cruise cast himself as Jack Reacher. Her interfering persuasiveness is what did it.

Unforfuckengivable.

Fuck sake that really is the limit.

She just burnt my toast.

@sharksarecool

JK Rowling always outbids you on Ebay in the final seconds.

Fucker

JKR changed the sizes of all your tupperware containers and lids ever so slightly so you can never find a matching pair.

She put my new coat in my car boot so the zip got snagged in the locking mechanism so I had to break the zip to open the boot

She gave me horrible nightmares last night.

However, to go against the grain, she did just cause me to win £25 on Premium Bonds.

I heard that JKR was the designer of the soiralizer that I used last night to shred not only my courgetti, but my finger as well. FFS

JKR puts the empty wrappers back in the Quality Street tin

Well she's given us fucking awful weather here today.

JKR did my arms in by making me read Troubled Blood while standing on the tube.

JKR made me soil my pants during a holiday to Bournemouth when I was nine. I didn't want to leave the arcade to find a toilet.

JK Rowling told Anakin Skywalker that "the dark side has cookies" and he believed her and after he turned to the dark side she never even gave him any cookies.