All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

JKR stands in front of me at the station ticket barrier scrambling around for her ticket as if it's a shock that said ticket is a requirement for entering/exiting the station.
JKR also does a similar thing in front of me in the supermarket queue for her purse at the moment of payment, rather than utilising the time in the queue to locate it.
JKR stops dead in front of me in the middle of the pavement to have a conversation on her phone or talk to someone she has just seen.
She's insufferable.

Did JKR ruin milk chocolate? I think she did.

She stole the carrot from my snowman!

That's nothing! She stole the snowman from my carrot!

Whenever i go shopping i join what appears to be the short queue, but i always seem to end up behind JKR, who delays everyone because she always has dozens of coupons, most of which refuse to scan.

You should have seen what she did with the carrot on MY snowman! 😱

She made Snowladies in my garden with big unapologetic boobies and NO carrots anywhere!

She made dh catch the nasty cold that I’m just getting over.

She made Snowladies in my garden with big unapologetic boobies and NO carrots anywhere!

Just because you couldn’t see where she put the carrots doesn’t mean it wasn’t there…

The snowladies weren’t complaining.

Bit of a naughty one that JKR 🥕 🥕

You know when you are on your way home and don't need a wee, but as soon as you put the key in the door you are bursting for one? Guess who?!

I have no snow because JKR has stolen it all for nefarious purposes rather than sharing it out nicely round the UK.

JKR snck p n m nd stle ll my vwls.

Th fckr

Do you know what she's gone and done now? Made a nail stick up in the wooden floor, which I trod on 😡

@CircleofWillis

JKR snck p n m nd stle ll my vwls.

Brllnt.

I have no snow because JKR has stolen it all for nefarious purposes rather than sharing it out nicely round the UK.

You know that famous picture from 2010 (or 2011) when ALL of the UK was covered in snow supposedly? Well it wasn't, there was about a 3 mile snow free zone around my wee West coast Scotland hamlet, we didn't see a single snowflake at that time. It just dawned on me who is to blame for that.

@CircleofWillis

That's nothing! She stole the snowman from my carrot!

@RJnomore1

You should have seen what she did with the carrot on MY snowman! 😱

Oh!

JKR ruined the end of the Harry Potter books for me by ringing me up just before the last chapter of Deathly Hallows and telling me the ending.

I know we're doing this for different reasons, but all these hilarious allegations remind me of John Oliver in rare form...

Full video here (the song is at the end):

Oh thank you @ErrmWTAF! That was glorious. 👏👏👏

Arguably the epilogue ruined the end of the HP series even without JKR literally spoiling it…

Seriously, we could have had graduation, The Final Feast, & Exit, flying on Thestrals. Siriusly J K Rowling, how Ron could your choices get? (Well, having Hermione marry Ron - Mr Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon - is a prime example.)

[quote ErrmWTAF]I know we're doing this for different reasons, but all these hilarious allegations remind me of John Oliver in rare form...

Full video here (the song is at the end):

[/quote] The ONLY way that could be better is if it had actually been HBO's legal counsel.

JKR pees in swimming pools.

@Rhannion

JKR pees in swimming pools.

From the highest diving board.