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Original poster

Omnisexual 11 year old

191 replies

Perplexedmother · 01/12/2021 20:34

DS was talking about his new friend today who is omnisexual. I had to look it up to understand it properly and when I did I saw just how many different labels (and flags!) there are. What's with the label obsession!! I'm genuinely intrigued about what's going on with young people that drives the need for labels. I know it's always been a thing to find your tribe/identity as a young person. Is that what this is?

I know this should probably be in parenting but I've already spent the day feeling like a lectured dinosaur, it's safer here!

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HerRoyalHappiness · 01/12/2021 20:37

Omnisexual? So bisexual then.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/12/2021 20:50

IME it's the most lost and unhappy children who desperately need a label and sense of belonging at this age.

DD's friend (11) is a lesbian and everything is rainbow flags and bunting and t-shirts and so on. She never buys a badge or sticker or socks without it. She's an unhappy child with a bit of a sad history. I'm glad she's found her place and everyone is supportive but it just seems like she's defining herself by sexuality so fiercely and early.

It's better than what went before but it's still not entirely healthy.

Original poster
Perplexedmother · 01/12/2021 20:57

That sounds sad @MrsTerryPratchett.

In DS circle it feels like a way of making yourself interesting from what I can tell so far. At least DS is clearly quite intrigued. He thinks she was so brave when she first announced it and today it was interesting.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 01/12/2021 21:03

DD is in camp #brave as well.

I just worry that they are defining themselves entirely based on who they find attractive. I'd be incredibly concerned if DD defined herself by her (so far) attraction to a certain male Avenger.

FatFilledTrottyPuss · 01/12/2021 21:11

In my opinion it’s akin to gr***g. My 11 year old dd is currently pansexual having stated at 8 that she was a lesbian. I felt pleased at first that she was comfortable knowing it’s ok to be same sex attracted and that straight is not the default but these days there are so many flags, labels, genders… and for a child like mine who struggles to fit in, it’s like being part of a lovely colourful welcoming community that sucks in all the misfits and makes them feel they belong. But while I’m sure most of us have an idea of our sexuality from a very young age, it’s completely inappropriate to be so fixated on it at 11 years old. Especially when most of the adults in this community are born male and most of the youngsters are girls and are ending up feeling disassociated from their natural bodies. It would be amazing if everyone could be whatever sexual orientation they naturally are without any shame or stigma but try telling this new rainbow community that lesbians are same sex attracted women/girls for example and all hell breaks loose.

FFSFFSFFS · 01/12/2021 21:16

An 11 year old shouldn’t be sexual at all is my view on the matter.

Crushes for sure - and if they’re same sex crushes fab.

But I think this sort of thing just shows the grim reality of what’s behind the scenes of this new wave queer identity burst. It’s not above love or same sex relationships.

MassiveHoard · 01/12/2021 21:20

Omnisexual? How does that differ from pansexual? Or bi sexual really if you don't beleive in genderwoo.

Joystir59 · 01/12/2021 21:20

The irony when to be an actual lesbian (biological female sexually attracted to biological females) is considered transphobic!

Mollymalone123 · 01/12/2021 21:21

Oh Lord-it’s the in thing to have any other label than straight.I can’t wait for this obsession with sexuality to be over with and something else come along.

Joystir59 · 01/12/2021 21:21

It's never been more difficult to be a lesbian than it is now. Awful.

Fet2021duejuly2022 · 01/12/2021 21:25

It’s so sad that children are being sucked in to defining themselves by their ‘sexuality’ it’s really very worrying, they’re just children. I don’t remember thinking like this at 8 or even 11. 14 I’d say was when I was interested in sex, which obviously is still very young

Original poster
Perplexedmother · 01/12/2021 21:29

I'm assuming this child has very woke parents and she/they are attempting to express tolerance/acceptance. It felt quite inappropriate to me. Crushes on either sex are surely pretty normal at 11. I can't see an 11 year old independently questioning her sexual orientation to the extent she would have arrived at this label.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 01/12/2021 21:29

I knew I liked boys at 10, thanks Indiana Jones! I have no doubt DD's lesbian friend is just as aware of her sexuality as I was.

However, it's the rigid obsession with it I worry about. No goth, emo, punk, nerd, cool, whatever. Nope, all sex, gender and sexuality.

Pickles89 · 01/12/2021 21:31

It's all a trend, like trick yo-yos or Pokemon cards or loom bands - only it would seem longer lasting and more damaging than most. I can't wait for it to be over.

Personwithrage · 01/12/2021 21:40

I remember older girls having those 'good men are hard to find..' posters when I was 11 and not having a clue what they meant. Properly confused!

How have we got 11 year olds who are so immersed in the language of sex and sexuality?!

MrsOvertonsWindow · 01/12/2021 21:43

This would be a harmless trend if it wasn't about sexuality and sex. 11 year olds have years ahead of them to grow, to develop physically, mentally, psychologically and sexually. These are adult concepts and identities and no 11 year olds should be fretting about it. This is a safeguarding disaster in the making with adults and older teens feeling empowered by toxic activists to involve young children in discussions and groups.
There's a safeguarding term that applies to much of what's happening to children but we're not allowed to use it on here. Suffice to say anyone (including in schools) who is engaging children in age inappropriate discussions about sex and sexuality is failing in their duty to keep children safe from harm.
Parents of children need to be challenging schools about their unthinking advocacy of all this.

GalaxyPostcard · 01/12/2021 21:57

I really don't see what the big deal with. I experimented with many a label: lesbian at 11, non binary for a bit of my teens, bisexual for a bit... I'm now a well adjusted adult lesbian in a long-term relationship with an adult female, and I think all the different labels were helpful because I got to try out different things and figure out where I'm at.

As long as it's not 11 year olds experimenting sexually, and it's in the same vein as having a boyfriend in Y7 and having a bit of holding hands and then ignoring them, there's nothing wrong with it.

Clymene · 01/12/2021 22:00

One of my children told me he was bisexual when he was 11. I was pretty sure he wasn't - he was just at an age where he had very few sexual feelings and got on better with boys than girls. I just told him that was lovely and great.

Now he's 15 he's completely heterosexual (although still finds it difficult to talk to girls).

I don't know why he felt he needed to declare his sexuality at such a young age but I suspect peer pressure had a huge part to play in it.

Our poor children are being sexualised before they're barely out of dolls and teddies.

Slipperfairy · 01/12/2021 22:01

It's because there are no tribes anymore.

They listen to their parents' music and all look the same. Where do they go if they feel different? I was able to show my parents how old they were, and how individual I was, by dressing like Courtney love, listening to sweary music and setting the curtains on fire with joss sticks.

Original poster
Perplexedmother · 01/12/2021 22:01

I thought feelings "relationships" were actually very innocent/non sexual at 11. Until DS matures a bit more of be surprised that he expresses a sexual orientation. Same sex/opposite sex attraction equally normal to him but sexual orientation not in his thinking right now. So my assumption was that most 11 year old don't have a clear sense of sexuality. But i can see that my interpretation based mainly on my child.

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Original poster
Perplexedmother · 01/12/2021 22:06

but sexual orientation not in his thinking right now or at least it wasn't, is now

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Livpool · 01/12/2021 22:07

I knew I 'liked' Han Solo when I was about 10 so I don't think children that age don't know. BUT I hate that sexuality is viewed as the only identity at the moment. There is so much more to life (especially when you are 11)

CheeseMmmm · 01/12/2021 22:07

Not heard that one before!

Pansexual yes although what's wrong with bisexual I don't know.
(I do know. Bisexual is about sex not gender. Iirc pansexual specifically says yes trans people. Bisexual outdated and bigoted. Also doesn't SPECIFICALLY mentions trans people and I think it's illegal now to say anything without mentioning trans people).

Omni sexual? Omni as in everything? I think that's what it means. So includes... Everything? Scallops, sand dunes, bingo cards and ... EVERYTHING?

Lolol.

Words eh. Who cares what they actually mean?

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/12/2021 22:08

Don’t know what that is. Surprised an 11 year old does, tbh.

Voice0fReason · 01/12/2021 22:11

The thought of being straight or "cis" is too much for many young people to cope with. They can't believe that they could possibly be so dull, so there are an array of labels they can assign themselves, most of which have no meaning whatsoever.