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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunburying into Autumn (Bunbury 6)

999 replies

DianasLasso · 09/09/2020 13:08

Bit like blackberrying, with added derailment, sealioning and general JAQ-ing off. I'll copy and paste the opening post of the last thread.

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember there are people out there who would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3944572-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-5?pg=40

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches gin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Antibles · 21/09/2020 02:16

The gist of it was men tend to argue to win the argument; women more often argue to get to the truth of the matter.

Very interesting!

CaraDuneRedux · 21/09/2020 08:56

The gist of it was men tend to argue to win the argument; women more often argue to get to the truth of the matter.

I think it's that a certain type of man argues in order to gain narcissistic supply for his ego, and the sign that he's got this is "winning."

(Some women too, but less of them - though there is one on another FWR thread crowing that she's "won". In fact what's happened is other posters have calmly and factually rebutted her points, she's continued to argue the toss by repeating the same limited point which has already been rebutted, over and over again, but with her repetitions getting more and more offensive but staying just within talk guidelines, until posters personally affected by the issue have lost their rag and sworn at her. Which she construes as "winning.")

ArabellaScott · 21/09/2020 09:44

Cars, yes I agree, probably a certain narcissistic tyoe of male argument. Certainly none of my other male partners have argued like that or put so much energy into winning at all costs.

ArabellaScott · 21/09/2020 09:45

*Cara, sorry

Kit19 · 22/09/2020 07:55

Ffs! Thread discussing GP gone - didn’t the other ones discussing them go as well?

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 09:30

The one about the headline news article on the gynaecologist removing women's wombs unnecessarily? Hm. Curious.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 22/09/2020 12:29

In the prison camps on the American border? That ought to be widely discussed everywhere not just on Mumsnet.

CaraDuneRedux · 22/09/2020 12:38

@ArabellaScott

The one about the headline news article on the gynaecologist removing women's wombs unnecessarily? Hm. Curious.
That thread's gone? Why? Does anyone have the deletion message?

It was widely reported in reputable newspapers, reputable enough that one presumes they fact checked what their sources were telling them and ran it past their legal departments.

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 12:44

I'm not sure, asking Kit19 which one?

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 12:45
  • I did mean the UK gynaecologist one. How bloody horrible there is more than one instance of this type of horror.
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 22/09/2020 12:56

Oh, lord, Arabella: put "refugees hysterectomy USA" into a search engine; your blood will run cold reading the whistleblower's account from the border-camp in Georgia.

There is another, private doctor in Virginia who is being accused of the same thing.

Kit19 · 22/09/2020 12:58

Tje thread I was talking about was the one about TW GP talking about how much it pleased them that the ‘conservative’ women where they live are happy for them to do intimate examinations

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 14:07

Yes, I read the article about the US refugees, too. Is there a particular form of woman-hate that actually compels men to remove healthy wombs?

Thanks, Kit. I thought that one was long gone, was there another posted?

Kit19 · 22/09/2020 14:12

Yes one was posted early hours of the morning - lots of posts saying not OK & then around 9am it vanished!

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 14:18

Ah, right. Missed it altogether. What a pity, it's a really crucial issue for a lot of women, I'd say.

Kit19 · 22/09/2020 14:21

It’s so Important! that’s why I posted the thread about being about to chose HCP we want by sex without making it about a certain GP......

Delphinium20 · 22/09/2020 22:39

Tell me I'm not losing my mind but where is the renting women's womb's thread?

OvaHere · 22/09/2020 22:41

@Delphinium20

Tell me I'm not losing my mind but where is the renting women's womb's thread?
Deleted. Pointing out misogyny and hypocrisy is mean.
CaraDuneRedux · 22/09/2020 22:42

"Message from MNHQ: We think the thread has become a pile on (and like swiss cheese) - so we've deleted it."

Wouldn't be surprised if there had been a behind the scenes threat of legal action.

FloralBunting · 22/09/2020 22:43

Deleted after becoming swiss cheese. Lots of accusations being flung from over in Twitter land.

CaraDuneRedux · 22/09/2020 22:46

To be honest, given it was about a specific named person, who was watching the thread, taking screen shots and posting them on twitter, I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did.

But yes, hypocrisy and misogyny is as good a two word summary as you could come up with.

Delphinium20 · 22/09/2020 22:46

I'm very passionate about egg donation as a dear friend when young and broke was very exploited to give hers up numerous times for money. 20 years on, she was infertile and ended up with ovarian cancer.

I had JUST taken a long time to write a very impassioned post...damn!!! Wasted time and lost voices.

OvaHere · 22/09/2020 22:48

@Delphinium20

I'm very passionate about egg donation as a dear friend when young and broke was very exploited to give hers up numerous times for money. 20 years on, she was infertile and ended up with ovarian cancer.

I had JUST taken a long time to write a very impassioned post...damn!!! Wasted time and lost voices.

Did you save it? There are numerous surrogacy threads it could be added to. Or maybe start one about the risks of egg donation because that is an issue in itself.
Mammatino · 22/09/2020 22:52

I think someone was shouting homophobia because they couldn’t shout transphobia. I’m so so sorry about your friend delphinium, definitely get that post out there, that’s the kind of tragic long term consequence that people should hear.

Quaagars · 22/09/2020 22:57

I think someone was shouting homophobia because they couldn’t shout transphobia

If that's to me, maybe I just don't like either when I see it.