The Guardian... Blind Date 23 November

[Backinthecloset123]

I post this aware that I might get a warning.

However!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/23/blind-date-jen-anna-glasses-fog-up

The woman, a lesbian, Anna (and the Guardian readership) did not reveal that Jen is a trans woman.

The whole thing is gaslighting.
And I may be deleted for that sentence.
There is a good thread on Twitter which I'll link.

I wonder how The Guardian will spin this?if this story gets wider media traction and more questions are asked?

It's almost impossible for The Guardian to spin this, isn't it? The person has admitted they didn't disclose they were trans.

The Guardian can't admit that any of their staff spotted they were trans (even if they did) so they can't say there was informed consent from the other party.

Unless The Guardian says that Emma ticked a box to say she was a lesbian who was happy to date transwomen. That's the only way they can re-position this. But it still raises questions about how little research they do on applicants before selecting them and it raises questions about how applicants can safely extricate themselves from a bad date.

Well it won’t allow comments, I think that’s a certainty.

Yes but would the Guardian have a box saying "I'm a lesbian happy to date transwomen"? Surely that's not woke as "TWAW", acceptance without exception etc.

And if that box was there to be ticked we would have heard about it by now!

I would guess from the Guardian's email that Jen put down lesbian and didn't disclose trans status. And if anyone noticed at the shoot they just smiled politely because acceptance without exception.

and now it's hit Twitter and sanity is prevailing, as usual.

I don’t do Twitter. What is the general reaction?

🙄 Definitely time for man meets trans woman blind date.

@BovaryX
Shocked and appalled, with one defender saying that lesbians shouldn’t actually be considered human beings.

Just for context

US talk show host does the same, but in reverse. It ends in murder.

www.ajc.com/news/national/killer-jenny-jones-gay-crush-murder-released-from-prison/CMKsybhg5nhHzggybvHdNO/

I know it's annoying when some MRA douche bag uses an example of sexism against women and says we've brought it on ourselves

but in this case, the Guardian really have brought it on themselves

they've (figuratively) painted themselves into a corner

They are probably realising they are in murky territory over this one and hoping it blows over.

I suspect they might be panicking that this era of TWAW/TMAM/all genders are valid along with a side order of ‘only bigots care about biological sex’ means that the entire Blind Dates column is now a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Anna, whatever it was you signed up to, I hope you are OK

There have been a few instances on TV's First Dates where women were paired with males who cross dress in stockings and heels (one was a drag artist with the respectful stage name of Bengina Hymen).

Why is it always the males dressing up who go on these things with a polite female? Why don't I see a woman cross dressing in baggy y-fronts and jogging bottoms going to meet a male who shows 'acceptance without exception'?

The show did pair a transman with a transwoman, but that's just like Fox and Owl isn't it

• heterosexual m and f couples.

Someone posted that appalling comment earlier on this thread. But it’s good that the majority are very critical of The Guardian, if I understood your comment correctly. This says so much about The Guardian. None of it good

Good point, DuMonde.

Anna, whether you signed up to this in full knowledge, or were misled, you have been hung out to dry here

Having been shat on by the Guardian a few years back (naively input into their readers views column not realising that (a) they would use my full name without checking and (b) they would selectively quote, I got ministered in th BTL comments), I do have some idea of what you are being put through.

Get friends to support you and cling onto "today's news, tomorrow's chip wrapping."

By the way, the Guardian meets each blind datee in person before the date, and photographs them.

The Guardian knew exactly what they were doing. They knew. They cannot deny it.

They are relying on female socialisation, on the incredible pressure on young women “not to make a fuss,” to get away with this.

They would never do this to a man.

Disgraceful I hope the paper are held to account

Funny too how they haven’t matched a ‘male lesbian’ with another ‘male lesbian’ - wonder what Jen’s response would have been if she had been fixed up with another male lesbian rather than Anna...
(Sorry if my terms are wrong - head is spinning, I’m tired and this seems the fastest description. You know what I mean in the context of the thread!)

After all if she expects Anna to be ok with her, it surely follows that she too would be happy to receive the same surprise...

Anna has handled the whole thing incredibly well - she has not put a foot wrong

Hope you're OK wherever you are, Anna

If the Guardian did genuinely want to show support for trans people and sympathetically feature trans daters in the column, then really the only way that they could that without evoking horrible misogynist overtones of compulsory heterosexuality and the cotton ceiling would be to have a trans woman go on a date with a heterosexual man, with the full knowledge and agreement of both parties.

They didn't, because that isn't the agenda they're pursuing at all.

Even though Anna played by "the rules" and went through with the date, when she invoked what is supposed to be the agreed "I'm just not attracted to you as an individual" graceful get out clause that supposedly excuses a lesbian from being transphobic, that still wasn't enough.

Eight hours to reply to a text message says to me "I am trying to find a way out of replying to this message that won't end up on Bye Felipe" (or wherever women post rejection freak outs these days).

There was literally no way out of this for Anna, unless she agreed not just to a second date, but to whatever Jen fancied by way of a relationship. Anything less and at some point it's "transphobia", and the fucking Guardian knowingly put Anna in that position to prove its political point that lesbians can have penises.

I noted that the Guardian did a piece on a queer dating service last week

www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/nov/08/lex-dating-app-instagram-personals-queer

Sounds all well and good but after I read it I thought that they never report on lesbians who are fed up with transwomen on dating sites, its spinning an idealist vision of the LGBTQ+ all living happily together when often this is not the case.

I wonder if SoulMates treats Transwomen as Women?

Of course the G are so woke that they couldn’t tell and didn’t realise 🙄

Tinder allows all sorts of genders but

" Seidman said Tinder's policy that does not allow users to filter out trans people as possible matches has had "some very disappointing, unforeseen consequences" because users instead would file complaints or unwarranted reports about them"

www.enca.com/life/trans-people-find-fault-tinders-efforts-inclusion

unforeseen?

how could you not see that coming

Seems to me that being woke means denying reality then

Seems to me that being woke means denying reality then

100%

Woke culture is about seeing what people will swallow

If you can persuade them to pretend they can’t determine someone’s sex, you can persuade them to do pretty much whatever you like

The other side to this is that Jen has made an absolute stuff up of the situation and comes off badly too, because of this whole TWAW ideology. Jen does not seem to view failing to declare transwoman status as in any way problematic, and nor, apparently, does the Guardian.

We aren't doing anyone any favours by permitting this kind of selfish entitlement and 'acceptance without exception' nonsense. Particularly when so many people disagree and argue otherwise. It's like failing to setting boundaries with your kids - they go out into the world and find that not everyone is going to put up with it.

The Guardian has done everyone in this situation a huge disservice, and I hope they realise that.