Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

Can you define "woman," as in "trans women are women," without making a circular argument ("a woman is anyone defining herself as a woman") or referring to stereotypes?

My definition is "adult human female."

It's important, because that word "woman" is also used in the law and many bureaucratic guidelines. If we cannot define it without circular reasoning or stereotypes, we cannot have clarity in the very legal system that defines our rights.

Why did you start this thread at such a strange time?

Hi WombOfOnesOwn. That's a great question and depends on your definition. I think woman is a gender construct society uses to define adult females. I consider myself to be a woman. I live as a woman and have done for a long time. Most of my adult experience has been as a woman inclusive of the good the bad and the ugly.

I am an adult human female yet I don't have, and have never had, any way of knowing that I 'feel like I am a woman' because I can only feel like me. That includes when I was a teenager and was utterly horrified and repulsed by my 'new' body.

How can you 'know' you are a woman when I, having lived my whole life in a female body have no idea what it feels like to be a woman?

Hi Vicky. I'm English but am currently in the U.S. So it's evening here.

Hi isabellerossignol,
I have lived in my female body for many years. But yes it is true I did not get to experience growing up as a girl. It wasn't easy for me either. But I agree I can never have that experience as you did.

Welcome! Thank you for your thread. So do you mean that you think like a woman?

Do you think someone who has male genitals should be allowed to use women only spaces?

Hi 'Indigo9*

What have you heard about Mumsnet?

What do you think about the information you've read so far?

Have you read any of the intro threads? eg
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

Re I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. what disconnect do you see, and why do you think it's there?

Do you understand why we women feel like we are being colonised and losing our unique language when we are told TWAW?

Thanks

Explain what 'living as a woman' means.

Hi terfsandwich,

I do mean I think like a woman. My whole life is through the lens of being a woman. In many ways it is all I have ever known.

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it. You said you wanted to answer questions but you haven't actually answered my question. I was asking how you 'know' you are a woman? The only way I know I am a woman is because I was born female and I grew up. How can you also 'know' you are a woman?

But you are not a woman, you are a transwoman. I am very happy to use female pronoun and name when referring to you but will always otherwise describe you as a transwoman I.e a person of male sex who has decided to live their life as they imagine a woman might.
Do you you feel my description is offensive or inaccurate and is so, why do you feel this?

In what way do you believe that women think differently to men?

Hi thenightsky,

To me living as a woman encompasses far more than I can answer in a simple thread and would constitute a book. However Every single day I live as a woman. I go to work as a woman, have women friends, suffer from male misogamy like every other woman does. Wear my comfy pants when I get home etc etc I guess I'd ask what living as a woman means to you? To me I am a women and experience life that way.

Thank you for your reply. What kinds of thoughts are womanly? Can you give some specifics?

isabellerossignol,

That is hard to answer because I have only thought like a woman. I do know that I, and other woman are more kind generally. Less likely to control others. But as to how a man thinks is a mystery to me too!

But in what way have you only thought like a woman?

I'm afraid your answers are not at all clear.

So how do you know that you think like a woman? How did you learn that women think (and feel) differently to men?

SeaWitchly,

I don't see what you are saying as offensive. After all as much as I hate the fact I was born with a male body. But have always known from my first memories that something was not right. There was a massive disconnect between my body and my mind. That incongruence grew and became unbearable as I hit puberty. No I don't have a uterus or cervix. But aside from that I am a woman.

Hi @Indigo9. I'm a secondary school teacher in an all girls school. We have seen a massive increase in numbers recently in how many transgender students we have. We have been given next to no external guidance as to how we as a school should be supporting transgender students identifying as males in an all female setting- would you have any advice on this, even though you are a transgender female as opposed to transgender male?

isabellerossignol & terfsandwich,

I'll answer these two questions together. I do not know what it is like to think like a man. I didn't learn to think like a woman. I just always have.

Do you believe that transwomen should be treated as women for the purpose of women’s sport and be housed in the female prison estate exactly as any other ‘woman’ would be?
If so, I disagree with you. Transwomen are not women and never can be, even if they are kind and gentle souls who enjoy wearing comfy trousers... amazingly enough as are some men.

But how do you know what a woman thinks like? How do you know what a man thinks like?
I am getting the idea that you think men and women have different brains. Their brains are a more significant difference than their bodies?
Many thanks again for engaging.

Hi bumblingalonghappily,

Yes it is a difficult situation for sure to ensure safety and yet at the same time support a trans boys. I think it is evident if they identify as boys they should not be in a female only environment. I can't imagine they would want to be either. I must admit I am not as educated on how transmen think about this kind of issue.