Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

Blindsiding?

Barracking?

In a hypothetical situation, if you woke up tomorrow with a body swap, would you or would you not continue to feel like a woman?

I remember hearing this at an LGBT event as proof of gender: that if you woke up tomorrow in the body of the opposite sex it would cause enormous distress because you would still have your ladybrain.

I was the only one not nodding vigorously away. I'd be perfectly content to wake up with a male body, and I think that I would continue to feel like a human. So I guess I'd then be a man, because the feelings I feel and the thoughts I think are not ladythoughts for ladypersons only.

In the subsequent small group discussions, someone kindly explained to me that this means I am pangender.

You know perfectly well you'd still feel like a woman if someone permanently attached a penis to you. So being a woman is a feeling

No if I suddenly has a penis, no osteoporosis and chest hair I'd feel fucking fantastic and go for a run without being abused by people in vans. I'd not have sore tits and could shave my head without my colleagues thinking I had cancer or some other horrific disease. I could go to meetings without a bra.

But more than that it would be a fucking miracle as nobody has ever changed sex overnight.

Bickering?

lydiamajora makes many excellent points, but basically the crux of it is;

"End of the day it is not thoughts or feelings that make you a man or a woman. It is not a lifestyle. It is biology.
When people try to describe man and woman using thoughts and feelings it makes the word useless and they tie themselves in knots trying to avoid the true answer. It shows the ridiculousness of their argument."

The answer to are you male or female is usually going to depend on what you piss with "naturally" (not counting reconstructive surgery, which is still far from the "real thing"). It's really that simple a question to answer, in 99% of cases. Humans will usually have the sex organs, hormones, etc associated with their genitals? In 99% of cases, a human with a Y chromosome will have a penis and scrotum etc?

Everything else is bullshit gender stereotypes, and men wanting to put women back in their place (as unpaid incubators/prostitutes/nannies/housekeepers etc), or who sees us and any man who dares dress or behave like us, as lesser or a threat. Or women wanting daughters to dress up like dolls, to mould into nice young ladies, or strong sons to conquer the world and protect them, then making the kid feel bad when they don't meet expectations, or conform accordingly. If I kept typing examples I'd be here all day.

Shirley (I have no problem with people rebaming themselves or using a nickname, I don't get callled by my actual name much myself), anyway, Donna with the nice eyebrows and demure dress should be allowed to piss in a urinal, in peace, without hassle. Donna has a right to be in the mens, and shouldn't give a fuck what Tom, Dick or Harry think of his dress. I know it's not as simple as that, so I would support Donna 100% in that fight. But Donna insists on using the female toilets, where a penis shouldn't be. Donna should be confronting the same toxic masculinity, that drives men to remove healthy penises, the ability to orgasm and having kids? All to feel "normal" or accepted? To feel "right"? Many post op transfer people commit suicide, when the face the reality of living with the results

I'm confused about the comfy pants thing. All men's pants are comfy. I'm a woman but all my pants are comfy.

If you were a transman, you wouldn't have felt like a woman in the first place, so it's not analogous. But nice attempt to swerve.

STILL NO.

Yay me. I am the creme de la creme of cruciverbalists!

Sorry sex organs should have read reproductive organs.

Bantering ?

Blathering ??

And Shirely should have been Donna d'oh.

Veronica - doesn't your head ache?

You know perfectly well you'd still feel like a woman if someone permanently attached a penis to you.

But also

How do you know you can't feel like something you're not?

#translogic

Datun
comfy pants were being used as the definition of a woman
I really don't think this is true. I did not read it that way at all.

Either you disagree, fundamentally, with the gender critical position. Or you are new to the discussion.
Not true, I think the gender critical position makes a lot of important points about safeguarding and women's sports etc. I've read quite a bit about it, I'm certainly no expert though and I don't 100% sign up to the prevailing wisdom on FWR.

I don't agree with women being told to be a little kinder when they are discussing the erosion of their rights and the erasure of their sex category.
Fair enough. Not sure it really helps anyone to put OP on the defensive. She's just one individual living her live and I would genuinely like to hear more from her, but I doubt she'll be back.

To @VeronicaDinner (think it was you) I know I would still be a woman inside if I "woke up as a man tomorrow".
It's clear not all women have an innate sense of being one, but I know I do.
People say "Iwouldn't have sore tits or be shouted at" - I think it's more to it than that.
There is for me anyway.
I absolutely would hate waking up in the wrong body. To me being in a male body would be terrifying. Inner self that not everyone seems to have.
Love male bodies but not as mine!

No, my head doesn't ache at all. I find it quite simple to understand that other people may perceive the world differently to me. Someone says they feel like a woman and they want to live like a woman. I say fair enough. None of my business anyway.

Wow, this was an interesting thread until the madness descended , hope the OP comes back, cant wait to find out what a women is.

I absolutely would hate waking up in the wrong body. To me being in a male body would be terrifying. Inner self that not everyone seems to have.

Rest assured lime kiwi, not one person has ever changed sex overnight. And never will. Humans cannot change sex. So you can sleep at night again.

Phew that's that settled then.

Hey everyone,

We're getting a fair few reports about this thread and can see things are getting a bit heated. We think it might be an idea to temporarily close it and give the OP the chance to have a read through some of the questions - there are 521 posts already, it would be a real shame if the thread maxed out without getting any answers...

OP, if you'd like to return to the thread please drop us a line at [email protected] and we'll reopen it for you.

@sackrifice

It's an analogy, you nerd!