Ama - transwoman

[Indigo9]

I've heard about Mumsnet for years in regards to views on transgender women. But until today I had never visited the site. I've spent hours reading posts related to transwomen and the gender ID bill. I do think there is a little bit of a disconnect with regards to who and what we are. So I've decided to setup this profile with a mind to answering questions you may have about being transgender. I'm not in to hate or insults, so you won't see me participate in any mud slinging, name calling or anything else. I will, however, answer any legitimate questions from my own perspective. I do not speak for the whole trans community and would not try to, but will happily share what I know.

I work in cancer research as a medicinal chemist. Results obtained from research vary hugely between male and female subjects (due to certain hormones and frequency of enzyme reactions... you have to be honest here or else you ruin my research. You are not female, you are XY, and you cannot change that with any genetalia op); so how do we proceed with you telling me a story whilst I am busy quantifying something else.

I don't think any of us transgender women want to cause any woman discomfort. But what would you have us do..

Do you think Johnathan Yaniv should be allowed to use women’s bathrooms?

mirandayardley.com/en/jonathan-yaniv-is-a-predator/

What about Katie Dolatowski?

www.scotsman.com/news/female-spaces-need-better-protection-after-trans-woman-sex-assault-on-girl-say-campaigners-1-4868945

SeaWitchly,

I'm 5ft 6". I weigh under 10 stone..or 126 pounds. My long term GF is petite and is stronger than me. My shoulders are narrower than my gf's. Many years of HRT has negated any advantage I would have over other women. Most women would kick my arse in sports. But I'd like to be able to participate..and quite frankly I would stand no chance against men. So I do think transwomen should be able to compete with other women..but I also agree with the olympic standards that set hormone levels etc as a guideline to ensure there is not an undue advantage..no different to steroids being not allowed in most sports.

answer my dilemma indigo

I have a transgender colleague. I find this colleague incredibly intimidating and frightening. If I walk into the ladies toilets and see this person there, I am uncomfortable. The guidance I have been given from HR is that if I turn and walk out, I am in danger of losing my job. If I refuse to use the toilet until my colleague leaves, I am in danger of losing my job.

Do you think this is a fair situation for me and my female colleagues to be placed in?

Hi indigo,

Do you think a 3rd space, inclusive of anyone who wishes to use it (trans, NB, gender fluid etc) is a way to protect trans people while also respecting women's rights to their own boundaries and/or spaces? I think a far more progressive way forward would be for trans people to create their own safe spaces, include whoever you feel comfortable with and demonstrate how welcoming and considerate those spaces are for those who support you. I think a more conducive way to foster good relations with women would be to do this rather than disregard women's boundaries. Those who are comfortable with males, irrespective of identity, would no doubt join you, and women who, for whatever reason feel their privacy and dignity is important, retain their safe spaces.

Would you support this option?

Thanks ladies for all the great questions. It's winding down time for me here. I'll check the thread in the morning and do my best to answer any questions I've missed or that are posed.

I'm 5ft 6". I weigh under 10 stone..or 126 pounds.

But many transwomen are not so petite. You may be, but many are tall, strong and now make make no physical changes to their bodies, and many of these are driving the transactivist narrative that transwomen ARE women. Some have beards, many retain penises. Some take no HRT, have no surgery. Do you think it is fair to expect women to share intimate spaces with these transgender people? I don't.

We women are told we have to accept these clearly male-bodied people as women - just because they say so. Do you think that's fair? Is it fair that my 11yr old daughter has to share toilets with male-bodied people?

Anyone have any slow cooker recipes?

I guess the questions are getting a bit trickier.

Not exactly a transformative AMA.

And not informative either. The answer to every question seems to be 'because I say so'. I really was wanting some insight but haven't got any yet.

Hi OP.

What made me come here today was a screenshot on FB that contained some pretty vulgar language towards transwomen

Can you post the screenshot here please?

Also you mentioned that your partner is female. Did you get together before you transitioned and do you call yourself a 'lesbian'?

Dammit. Too slow

What do trans people mean when they say they have always "felt" like a woman? I am a woman and I have no idea what other women feel like, I only know what it feels like to be me, so I don't understand how one can claim to feel like something that is intangible. Surely you can only feel like yourself? In which case how can you claim to be a different gender based on a feeling?

What are these feelings that we women have that sets us apart from men?

Thank you indigo. It's an impasse. I am never going to be able to say that a young human being, male at conception, is/was not a boy due to a separate undefined and unidentifiable femaleness. I also don't think this is something I am 'failing to wrap my head around' - this is a fact. Your height and weight are not relevant to your sex. Nobody is stopping you participating in sport except prejudiced arseholes potentially giving you grief seeing you active in public, for which much sympathy and solidarity. However, competing in a women's category would be factually incorrect. Your body, however altered, is not female.

Welcome OP, it’s nice to have people adding their voices. One of my neighbours is trans and very kind, we exchange insights with each other sometimes.

There are many websites where people will feel comfortable asking you questions, but people are likely to feel quite cautious on here. As we may see screen shots on T tomorrow. Fair play to you OP and be sure to check out some other boards

But seeing at on average men are bigger and stronger than women most trans woman wouldn't pass as well as you may. In many cases it is blindingly obvious that trans women are male, do you think they should be allowed to use the women's facilities?

Where do we set the prettiness bar? All natal women and the passing/attractive trans women, everyone else in the men's?

Same goes for sport, lots of women are bigger and stronger than me, hell some women can go up against men (usually not at the same level though). Do we let the dainty trans women compete with the women but someone like Hannah Mouncey has to go with the men?

Hope I’m not out of line to say this but... I’m really not sure about the motivation here.. Perhaps we wait for mods to verify before adding more.

Do you accept that the definition of woman has changed since the advent of transgender ideology, to accommodate and be inclusive to transwomen?

Given that, do you accept that effectively a group of men have decided to redefine and colonise womanhood?

op

If you are concerned that whilst still an intact male that using your correct male toliet would mean you would be assaulted, why aren't the trans community taking that issue up with men ?

Why is it acceptable for the trans community to force biological females into feeling unsafe?

Why won't transwomen take up their issue with men with actual biological men?

Can you find a single example of a transwoman or a drag queen being violently assaulted in a men's room anywhere in the UK? Ever? It would be a newsworthy hate crime for sure, so I'm certain that if it's happening, someone must have mentioned it. Somewhere.

And yet I can't find a single shred of proof! Can you?

I see we are no further forward to finding the elusive answer to the question “what does feeling like a woman mean?”

This is a waste of time.