I used the girls' room for the first time today

[GrinitchSpinach]

from reddit mtf:

all comments affirming. They are delighted to have actual women apologizing for being in the 'wrong' place in the women's room. Absolutely no understanding of the fear any woman or girl might feel encountering a male person in a vulnerable, isolated space. Also: "little girls' room" for a 19 y.o. person...

I went to the men’s after a rugby match at Twickenham a couple of weeks ago, because I “just wanted to pee” and there was a massive queue at the ladies.

Luckily the one cubicle was empty but I was aware I could have made some men feel uncomfortable. Unlike the author of that post, who clearly doesn’t care whose comfort and dignity is sacrificed to validate their feelings.

I’ve used the men’s a couple of times becsuse they were empty and the cue to ladies was insane.

Women often say "excuse me" when we mean "I am really fucking uncomfortable right now". Nice men know this. Really unpleasant men know it and find it exciting.

See also "I'm sorry".

The language around this, “little girls room” is suddenly illuminated in this context.

I hate that American tweeness, and mismaturing (sic ) of adult females as ‘little girls’ but In this context?

Do we have an agreed response to those situations, when you see the male bodied invading our single sex spaces?

Perhaps smiling meekly and salute them with an: under his eye.

Or do we just go straight to security and tell them there’s a bloke in the ladies exposing himself..

Where did you suddenly get the idea this transwoman was exposing herself? I assumed she used the cubicle as everyone else does. How about you treat someone with someone in this situation with a bit of compassion?

I have a vagina. If I wear a dress, heels, make up, am kind to everyone I meet on Monday, and act bubbly and cute etc, it's obvious I should use the little girls room, right?
But on the Tuesday, if I wear trousers, flat shoes, no make up, get into an argument over sports, and am grumpy or blunt with everyone, should I use the mens toilet instead that day, as I was acting so masculine..?

Women often say "excuse me" when we mean "I am really fucking uncomfortable right now". Nice men know this. Really unpleasant men know it and find it exciting.

This.

How about you treat someone with someone in this situation with a bit of compassion?

Why can't you just be nice klaxon!!!

How about people with male biology show some humility and get over their entitled idea that they can use female toilets because they want to?

How about you treat someone with someone in this situation with a bit of compassion?

How about you notice multiple red flags?

'Little girls room' eeeeeeeek!

And having a female apologise to them while they were in there as well - well, that's just the cherry on the cake really isn't it?

Woman can also say ‘excuse me’ when someone is in their way

Didn't pass. Didn't pass. Didn't pass.

And yes, if I walked into the toilets and there was clearly a man washing his hands - I too would say "sorry" and look back at the door thinking I'd gone through the wrong one!

We know a man when we see one. I can't be the only one who gets a little jumpy if there's a male attendant cleaning - I'll often walk out and try and find somewhere else.

As a woman, I dont owe a man invading my single sex space any compassion. They owe it to me, as it is my rights that are being infringed. They should never have been given the sense of entitlement that my right to privacy and safety was worth less than their own personal validation.

I've been in plenty of situations when men took full advantage of such secluded spaces to assert their dominance over me, and guess what - I never consented/and I never deserved it.

Little girls' room, revelling in an apology, and being super excited?

So many red flags, I can't hold them all.

The other posters telling women to just be nice? Does that not change the way you think? If you thought this person was getting a sexual kick out of what they were doing? Why do you think they're not?

I’ve had enough with this “I just want to pee” bullshit.

Why not be honest and say “I just want to pee, but only in the women’s toilets so other people will validate my belief that I’m a woman”?

If this person had just wanted to pee, then peeing in the men's’, which I and millions of other women do all the time for convenience, would not be the hideous triggering trauma it’s claimed to be.

Saying '''sorry'' to someone for them being in your space is not ''being nice to show support''. Its an example of female socialization and managing risk.

Little girls room.
Jesus Christ on a bike.

Her apology was out of shock and surprise, and a reflex action. Many people automatically apologise even when the fault lies with the other person.

I walked into a mixed sex toilet once in a bar thinking it was the women’s, I saw a bloke washing his hands. First thing I said was “Sorry! Got the wrong door!” And legged it straight out.
Absolutely automatic reaction. Apologise. Exit.

Scotland : Last year two girls (aged 10 & 12) were assaulted in the women's toilets at supermarkets.
From the reporting at the time, the offender seems to have been a male who did not 'identify' as a man.

I'm surprised that this case did not gain more awareness.

The girl's father had waited outside the women's loos, believing of course, that only females would be in there.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3329936-teen-films-girl-in-toilet

Why not be honest and say “I just want to pee, but only in the women’s toilets so other people will validate my belief that I’m a woman”?

'The Elephant In The Room'
article by Sue Donym
(concludes)
‘Queer’, and autogynephilia have provided a method for heterosexuals, particularly heterosexual males, to colonize the LGBT community, erase our struggles, and tells us we’re all bigots for not wanting heterosexual sex.

Sounds crazy. But true.

Please Discuss The Elephant
If there’s one thing you ought to do, it’s discuss the elephant. Please discuss the elephant. Don’t leave it rampaging around the room, destroying everything in its path.

Autogynephilia is a weird concept. It can be inaccessible. But it needs to be discussed in the LGBT community, and openly. Not talking about it is causing way too much damage — we have had our organizations taken over, our spaces colonized, and our sexuality redefined. Thanks to these men, you can no longer say ‘I am, gay, meaning exclusively same-sex attracted’ without being labelled a TERF. That’s not a good thing.

Dancing around the subject isn’t helpful. While the ultimate result of autogynephilia is homophobic rhetoric, is important to remember that a sexual fantasy, not homophobia, motivates such rhetoric. That is the root cause of the problem.

Worse is the effect on autogynephiles themselves. ‘Transgender’ is not an umbrella. It is a term that erases the very different motivations and causes of various forms of gender dysphoria. It does people who claim the label absolutely no favors. The original inclusion of the ‘T’ was designed for homosexual transsexuals, and include them with other same-sex attracted individuals. It was not designed to include autogynephiles, who are heterosexual males, or ‘queer’ individuals who are heterosexual but believe dying their hair some variation of neon should mean they are included. Making ‘transgender’ an umbrella not only erases the very different causes and struggles associated with homosexual transsexuality, it also obscures the causes of, and struggles associated with autogynephilia. Autogynephilia is not a condition I would wish on anyone. It is a unique, somewhat bizarre struggle, and reading through many of the accounts of it was quite sad. It can make its sufferers lonely and unable to connect with intimate partners. But enabling it, and on a grand scale, has caused immense damage to homosexuals, particularly lesbians, who have lost almost all their spaces and communities to colonization.

Please discuss the elephant."

medium.com/@sue.donym1984/the-elephant-in-the-room-dc822144a81b

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3473261-The-Elephant-in-the-Room-is-male-autogynephilia-by-Sue-Donym

I did not say 'just be nice' - I was commenting on the post that suggested calling security if a transwoman was in the ladies toilets and I suggested that showing compassion could be an alternative response.

I can now see that the tone of the board is clearly anti-trans, so I'll leave.

I am American, and have never heard any man or boy say "little girls' room." I have occasionally heard women over 60 use it. My MIL does when she thinks she's being cute. To me seeing it from a 19-y.o. male person screams "steeped in sissification porn."

Responses to the thread make clear that this person is not alone in getting a thrill at making women uncomfortable in the women's room. I'll go grab some.