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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Woman in PVS for 10 years raped, gives birth

224 replies

VickyEadie · 04/01/2019 20:10

www.lifenews.com/2019/01/04/woman-comatose-for-a-decade-gives-birth-unexpectedly-police-launch-sexual-assault-investigation/

Men are appalling.

OP posts:
Haworthia · 04/01/2019 22:21

One thing that’s occurred to me recently is that for a depressingly high proportion of men, the difference between being a rapist and not being a rapist is opportunity, that’s all. It’s not about morality, that doesn’t come into it at all. Opportunity, and the belief that they’ll get away with it.

ChattyLion · 04/01/2019 22:22

Christ that is horrific. Poor poor woman.

BlytheSpiritsSpirit · 04/01/2019 22:25

Yeahnahyeah of course people noticed, and it will have been hushed up! Her carer's would see her nude for cleaning and changing several times in the day and night. Her periods suddenly stopping? Her incontinence pads no longer fitting? Come on now.

The entire institution is rotten.

mikado1 · 04/01/2019 22:29

Yes Haworthia, I've also had that realisation in the last few years, backed up that horrific incident(s) a year or so ago where a girl flagged down help after an attack,only to be raped again and a case in Ireland where 11 men from the same area all raped an under age girl. Appalling and frightening.

Haworthia · 04/01/2019 22:33

Exactly, mikado1, exactly.

That’s why NAMALT is such a stupid response. The knee jerk response shouldn’t be NAMALT, it should be “what the fuck is wrong with men?”

AngryAttackKittens · 04/01/2019 22:33

Almodovar made a film about this scenario. Spoiler - you're meant to feel sorry for the rapist when he kills himself at the end. I did not.

The new not allowing male carers to be alone with female patients rule is both a bit horse already left barn and a lot how did this not occur to you sooner you complete imbeciles?

InionEile · 04/01/2019 23:25

And creepiest of all, this news item is from a conservative pro-life news site. I guess this situation is their dream come true - a woman entirely incapable of agency, in a vegetative state and therefore unable to assert rights over her own body, it’s a woman as nothing more than a vessel for life. I’m sure they secretly think it’s wonderful and wish all women could be that compliant Hmm

GunpowderGelatine · 05/01/2019 00:00

FFS, first comment is a NAMALT. Angry bore off with your unhelpful comments

What angers me is this is being reported as a 'possible' rape. THIS is rape culture - a woman being unable to communicate or move, still being impregnated and refusing to actually call it a definite rape, because menz feelz or something. And they say there's no patriarchy - pfft.

Graphista · 05/01/2019 00:24

That place needs to be closed and those running it banned from care work altogether.

I worked for many years in residential nursing care and like a pp with similar experience agree there's no fucking way SOMEONE other than the perpetrator/s didn't know what was happening. I suspect many knew and said nothing, who makes them little better than the abusers.

As a carer a BIG part of your role is protecting your clients and advocating for them.

"I've long believed that the term 'coma' is misleading" it's more the case there's a lack of education of non medical people that there's different levels of coma.

I think criticising it as an American issue is arrogant and disingenuous given our own history here. Savile being the best known example but there are lesser known cases in the uk too.

"Opportunity, and the belief that they’ll get away with it." I think there's a strong element of denial (in the clinical not the informal flippant sense) and/or cognitive dissonance too in many cases. Many rapists just wouldn't describe their actions as rape. See all the threads (that appear with frightening regularity) by op's married to/living with men who assault/rape them regularly. Often the victims are in denial too.

But in this case it's very very clearly rape, in a way that no sane person could possibly refute.

Blythe - totally agree! Also someone in that condition would have other obs made - eg bp, pulse & resps rates, weight etc which all change through pregnancy.

Heartbreaking, infuriating and depressing.

Sashkin · 05/01/2019 00:41

But in this case it's very very clearly rape, in a way that no sane person could possibly refute

I can guarantee that if this rapist is caught there will be some justification that she moaned or moved or did something that made him think she was enjoying it. Because that is always the defence, isn’t it? Even when the woman is being raped to death with a bottle of carpet cleaner, she looked like she was enjoying it to him.

My police liaison officer said to me “Sashkin, they all say that because they don’t have any other excuse when there’s no dispute that sex took place”. I’m never sure though whether they are all cynically lying to get a not-guilty, or whether they care so little about whether the woman consents that they construe even struggling and screaming for help as “enthusiasm”.

I’m not sure which option is worse, setting out to deliberately injure somebody or not even registering them as a thing that can be injured.

pachyderm · 05/01/2019 00:50

@MrsFogi it was Brimstone and Treacle by Denis Potter. Sting was the creepy manConfused

BeholdTheNewTablecloth · 05/01/2019 00:55

@MrsFogi
Brimstone and Treacle - Dennis Potter
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brimstone_and_Treacle
Not a series but a film. Sting plays the devil/rapist. You'll find it on youtube but it is a play I have only seen once as it was hard to stomach.

PipGoesPop · 05/01/2019 01:16

Won't have been the first time or the only patient I'll bet. FFS.

Graphista · 05/01/2019 01:33

Sashkin I'm so very sorry you've been through that.

Yes they're full of bullshit excuses.

Whether they really believe those excuses - who knows!

Doesn't change what they are.

My bro is a police officer now in a role that so many people respond 😱 "that's an intense scary job to do" (armed response, mainly dealing with armed robbers)

He prefers it to when he was an "ordinary officer" dealing with alarming regularity with rapists, paedos and wife bashers! He found it particularly hard dealing with the victims of those crimes (partly due to our own family history).

He's been known to say that almost all rapists initially deny any sexual contact, then soon as its proven it goes from "no sexual contact at all" to "consensual" in a second! Which is just such obvious bullshit.

But he personally found "domestic rapists" the worst as he felt they usually basically believed they were absolutely entitled to "use" their wives/partners bodies as and when they wished. And due to the circumstances were the most prolific rapists as their victims were so "convenient".

His experience has also solidified my belief that such people NEVER change. Most of the ones he dealt with weren't just repeat offenders, he said of the sexual offenders that they rarely went longer than a month without re-offending. Even if not caught immediately they'd make comments that made this apparent.

RrreCansada · 05/01/2019 01:49

I work in a forensic unit, a female inmate was raped continually, as nobody believed her. It was only when a work colleague discovered the rape taking place that all safe guarding procedures kicked in.
The female inmate had been abused all her life,sadly by members of her own family. Her trust in any system to protect her was non existent.

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 05/01/2019 02:04

Haworthia

“One thing that’s occurred to me recently is that for a depressingly high proportion of men, the difference between being a rapist and not being a rapist is opportunity, that’s all.”

Depressingly, I think this is true. There are a proportion of men who are not rapists. The rest are either rapists or potential rapists.

If anyone remembers the hideous Snowtown case in South Australia, there was a litany of horrible abuse, but the one which lingers in my mind was the man who got both of the girls next door pregnant. Both girls were developmentally arrested, so had the mental capacity of children.

It’s hard not to see predators everywhere. Men need to STFU with the NAMALT stuff, because while it’s true that not all men, you have to wonder if it’s not most men.

Concernedmamab · 05/01/2019 02:34

The lack of quality nursing homes & other care options in the US has become a major reason so many Americans who support strict gun control reconsider & revise that stance once we get old. One of America's dirty secrets is that two- thirds of the 30,000 gun deaths that occur here each year are suicides. No wonder.

Jesus Christ! I had no idea this was the case. How horrible.

I know that in adult social care here, women who get council-funded care can't be guaranteed female carers, even for intimate care. Breaks my heart.

MrsTerryPratcett · 05/01/2019 02:40

There should never be cries of NAMALT while so many men ALT.

You only have to see what happens in war zones, in refugee camps, in prisons to see what happens when rape is normalized. No NAMALT but such a lot are when there's means and opportunity.

Graphista · 05/01/2019 02:58

There should never be cries of NAMALT while so many men ALT.

This!

FlyingOink · 05/01/2019 04:44

Graphista I know a fair few police officers and they would agree with your brother Sad

ABriefNameChangeIThink · 05/01/2019 05:07

There should never be cries of NAMALT while so many men ALT.

Absolutely. The only reason there are so many opportunities for men to cry NAMALT is precisely because so many men ALT.

And as for possible sexual assualt - sadly it doesn't surprise me at all. What an appalling situation.

That poor woman and what a situation for that poor child to be born into.

charis · 05/01/2019 05:09

Possible sexual abuse?! Holy fuck. Wtf is wrong with people's idea of informed enthusiastic consent more like. It's really not that difficult to understand.

Not all men going 🤔 "can't even rape a comatose woman these days. PC gone mad"

Jaysus. Stop the world.

feelingverylazytoday · 05/01/2019 08:48

People are confusing 'coma' with 'PVS' here. They are different levels of consciousness. People in PVS experience waking and sleep patterns and respond to some stimuli so its probable this poor woman had some awareness of what was happening to her while she was been raped and may have vocalised pain and fear (as she did during her labour). People in this condition are also not on life support though they do require feeding and nutrition (I just thought I'd point that out to clarify the situation).
Personally I think only female carers should be allowed to give care to female patients in this condition and they should be cared for in an open ward/bay situation so that the nursing staff are fully aware of everything that is happening on the ward, even during visiting hours.
I just hope this rapist is caught and punished suitably, the poor lady passes on peacefully when her time comes and the baby is raised by a loving family.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 05/01/2019 08:53

This is so upsetting. And of course the care home can hide behind "patient care is our number 1 priority, but "ongoing investigation" means we can't say anything at all, soz."

Every male member of staff over the last year should be investigated.

Then the rapist will say he believed it was consensual as she didn't say no and seemed to be enjoying it. He'll get away with it, and then he'll get custody of the baby.

pachyderm · 05/01/2019 09:40

Re opportunity-rape is historically very common in war situations, and committed by men who have otherwise law-abiding lives. That tells you all you need to know.