Not sure I am on board with feminism any more.

[AWildThoughAppeared]

When I was first presented with feminism, I was sceptical. Then I saw the light, I was a convert. But recently I don't know what I think any more.

First of all let me say that I'm 100% opn board with women. But I'm deeply concerned about today;s feminism and its message.

This is the message that our young people are being repeatedly schools and media, about women:

A woman is a victim
A woman will be beleived
Femininity is precious
A woman is strong
A woman is empowered
A woman can be anytrhing she wants to be.

So far .... I'm 100% behind that; But lets look at the message our education programs and media messaging is telling to our children about men:

Men are violent
Men are abusers
Men are rapists
Men are not to be trusted
Masculinity is toxic
Men are dispensable
Men should stand aside

What young boy hearing this isn't going to be deeply confused. How are boys going to grow up as strong, responsible, confident and useful if we don't tell them that boys are amazing too.

Is it any wonder so many school age boys are wanting to transition to be girls. Of course they feel like a woman inside when they are constantly told that girls a kind and precious and strong and can do no wrong, and boys are evil, disgusting and worthless.

Where is the celebration of men? Responsible, loving, kind, strong men.

Maybe I'm getting it all wrong. Maybe I'm missing something.Tell me.

100% on board with women.

Could you just run that by me again. On board with women... what? All of us? On board with us doing..?

I think you'll find the significant concern among young people is school girls thinking they're boys. It's the older men who suddenly think they're women when they put a pair of heels on.

2/10 for research

"100% on board with women. " I'm sorry I didn't express that very well. I feared that this would happen and posters would pick apart my language and intentions.

Do you have any thought on the main content of my post.

Also I admit I am not well educated on transgender issues.

I'm sorry if I look like I'm trying to provoke. I'm really not. I just woke at 2am with a cold and a fever up and all this is going through my head. Needed to set it down and process.

Femininity is precious wtf?
I would be very concerned about any education program that is saying
ALL men are violent, abusers etc
However I don't have a problem with teaching young people about the realities of society. 98% of sexual crime is committed by men. Should we ignore that? Should we not be educating boys and girls about consent. About not treating others badly. Respecting each other whether you're male or female?
I don't know where you live but boys are not told they are evil or worthless where I am. Unfortunately its women who are regarded this way

I don't think boys are listening to our feminist discourse. Many of us have raised boys in gender neutral households. My son didn't hear me bashing men. I tried to protect him from the most toxic culturally sanctioned masculinity (TV and media, other asshole men). Same as I tried to raise my daughter to smash the binary. They came out firmly planted in their respective sexes. It seems harder now..20 yrs later.

signmeup What do you mean they came out firmly planted in their respective sexes?

But the dominant narrative in education and the media is stories of men as abusers, rapists. Women as victims. AND and yet women told again and again they are strong strong and empowered. But I see no positive message for men. Toxic masculinity is the only example held up. What boy wouldn't feel ashamed of being male.

okpedro - Totally agree all children should be taught about consent and respect.
I also don't think we should ignore that most violent and sexual crime is done by men.
What I think is lacking is positive of men to balance that.
All humans have the capacity to evil. But listening to the messaging, it would be easy to think only men do.

"Femininity is precious" yeah my wording on that one is suispect lol.

OkPedro - "I don't know where you live but boys are not told they are evil or worthless where I am."
Recently in school, a visiting dramatic performance of monologues about stories of women who had been subject of domestic abuse, and monologues by men in prison who had been abusers.
The.message was well intentioned. They were trying to tackle a real issue.
But is beating boys with examples of male evil-doing really doing good? Look at the underlying premise - "women are victims and men are criminals". No positrive message for boys to aspire to. Only shame for them on the part of their being male.

How is the dominate story one where men are abusers. Every report has a poor men aspect.

Thje problem is not in pointing out the problems of male abuse of women.

It's about the lack of any positivity about men.

In short:

The message feminism has for girls - "you are amazing and you can be anything you want to be #ThisGirlCan. Just watch out for those evil men."

The message feminism has for boys - "you are sick and disgusting, but if you don't abuse or oppress women, you will be tolerated #YesAllWomen"

Male privilege has existed for millennia, it's about time the pendulum started to swing in a different direction.

Thing is, dont spend too much time on social media, that's where the negative messages will be exaggerated.

I did see an ad recently, in Vogue I think. It was a little girl wearing a t-shirt saying 'The future is female.' I did feel a pang when I looked at my DS. I've never seen a 'Boy Power' equivalent. They even had an "International Day of the Girl' theme on Play School here recently. I'm not sure what the intention of that is, given the intended audience is 2 - 5 year old Australian children.

You must be walking around with your eyes shut. Positive male paradigms abound. Largely male leaders of government and business. The example in home lives where it is more common for women rather than men to care for children and dependants, and dads to be the main earner, the economic imbalance that brings. Prevalence of women nurses & male doctors.

Our society says one thing and does another . Tells kids (not just girls) 'you can be anything you want' to counteract the harsh reality. By the time today's children get round to having children the same imbalance will show itself. I hope the tide is turning.

I love men, personally, but building a positive form of masculinity would be a particular concern for men, accompanied by women who have sons and teachers, rather than the job of feminism.

There are in fact lots of positive images of men in the media

Totally agreed and feminism needs to equally passionate about giving positive message for boys to, or all the efforts will be lost.

I did see an ad recently, in Vogue I think. It was a little girl wearing a t-shirt saying 'The future is female.' I did feel a pang when I looked at my DS. I've never seen a 'Boy Power' equivalent

Rest assured, the future will continue to be male. Patriarchy is not going anywhere, if anything it’s aggressively reasserting itself at the moment.

Coyoacan - so you think feminism should not seek to give a positive message to boys?

You would abandon the task of presenting positive messages to the media? Look where that has got us.

I think feminism has to take this on or it will fail.

Lets not forget that the negative message about abusive and violent men is largely confined to news channels so children not really as exposed as adults. Same news channels that sensationalise female crimes because its less usual.

ZenNudist - I'm talking about the role of feminism in messaging to boys. You don't think it has one?

Don't think that kids don't pick up on things. They pick up more than we think.

I have two sons. Im 100% sure they don’t get the message that men are violent/rapists/abusers/toxic/untrustworthy. At some point they will find out that jails mostly contain men but won’t relate to these men because he’s a nice boy and has plenty of nice male role models who are community minded/caring/trustworthy/considerate. In the media men are also superhero’s, life savers, fire fighters, uphold law and order, make pets better, explorers, positive risk takers and sporty.

I need factual examples of the negative educational role models for boys

Yes and thankfully in large part to feminism the media has started to do something about adding positive female role models too.

Exactly GCAcademic, I saw a t-shirt with a similar slogan in M&S, don't gaslight my daughter, girls will never take over the world as it proclaimed.