I was not into feminism. I was into equality, fairness for all. Not pushing men aside and demanding more and more. All this business about men have a better deal is nonsense, we're in GB in the 21st Century. Equality is here, sure women won't get promoted as fast if they're missing time to have maternity leave but when they are there they will.
I read a few threads about the trans issue. Of course trans people should be able to change where they want! They've had ops to get rid of genitalia, they must really feel they are women and are in a bad situation so yes, I'll pretend.
Then I started to hear a few fact. That for many it was a turn on to dress as women and to involve unwilling participants in their fantasies. The numbers who don't seek any medical help, let alone transition. The ones who are wearing their teenage daughters clothing and getting aroused (if anything about your teenage daughter or their belongings gets you aroused there is something very wrong). The crime rates staying the same post transition.
Then there was what was being demanded. Access to women's prisons. Ignore safeguarding. Rape centres and refuges no longer being sacrosanct.
I started hearing instances. A woman going for a smear, requesting a female nurse and being told the man identifies as a woman. A man going into a refuge claiming to be a woman and raping people. Another going in a refuge and when women objected the women being kicked out for being transphobic. A woman questioning being punched. A woman being made to lie in court about gender. A man leading a hate campaign against a women's officer then taking her place. #NoDebate. Meetings to dicuss this being shut down. Police involved for stating facts. Employers called for people disagreeing. Endless endless abuse on Twitter.
So trans did not mean what I thought it meant and these are not people I want in my space.
I started seeing how privileged I am. I have not been raped. I have not been assaulted. I have not had a violent relationship. I have not been obviously used or missed out on things because of my gender.
I had to think of my #metoo moment. I remember it because it was funny (would it have been had I been alone?). How many have I forgotten?
I started to realise that men did have advantages. That a men's pill was developed and scrapped because it had the same side effects women put up with. That when a child is ill it is the woman expected to miss work to deal. That male privilege is real, that the effect is there even if it's not obvious. That men think women dominate a conversation if they speak for 30/. That things really are not equal and even here, in GB in the 21st century, things are not fair and there is a fight to be had.
There are a lot of things happening right now. Knowledge of FGM. Rapes in India. #MeToo. Rotherham. But it was these boards, with the mix of voices, full of facts and arguments, personal experiences and shared stories, that brought be to this very angry point. I don't like having my eyes opened. But they needed to be and sadly I learn more to horrify me everyday.
I am a feminist.
Thank you ladies.