Your peaktrans moment for today! Top this if you can.

[Ritzsaltedcrackers]

A woman was thrown out of a FB feminist group for challenging the idea that transwomen get periods.

apparently they DO get periods just without the small aspect of bleeding.

She was told that she was minimising transwomen's periods.

www.facebook.com/beth.rep/posts/10216741083464856

Great post blood

@MissTeri "Italiangreyhound Ordinarily I would agree with what you've said, but my concern is how long until we are not allowed to say that trans women do not have periods because it will be considered hate speech?"

I know what you mean and I think if women want to spend their time calling out this kind of lunacy, then that is fine. I'm only speaking for myself. I think I personally will just back away from crazy for a bit, if I encounter it.

"My ex used to gaslight me regularly. A cruel, horrible tactic that caused me to doubt myself so much that it affected my parenting, because I was constantly unsure if I was doing the right thing and would have to double/triple check my decisions. The relationship was abusive and although I was allowed an opinion it was always invalidated and I was told I was wrong even when I was right."

That is truly horrible and I am glad he is your ex. And I absolutely do not think anyone should put up with gaslighting in personal relationships. But one person spouting their ideas on the internet is not the same as being in a relationship with anyone gaslighting you.

"Now my concern is that will the government start telling me that black is white and if I dare to question that then I will be arrested and prosecuted. It's very much like 1984 and it terrifies me to be honest."

Yes, I totally see that. I wonder if our time and energy can go into enshrining in law freedoms we thought we already had.

@AngryAttackKittens "Someone on the IW thread said that her teenager thinks that people can get a chromosome transplant.

Maybe instead of teaching kids about gender at school we should teach them science? Just a thought."

Absolutely, my daughter told me a about a year ago she thinks men can get pregnant because she has heard about pregnant trans men. I did explain to her about pregnancy and what you need, a womb, and all that.

But one person spouting their ideas on the internet is not the same as being in a relationship with anyone gaslighting you.

It's not. But it does feel quite similar especially when others enable it. So some women are going to push back against it.

So. Misgendering is literal violence is it?

So is nagging and refusing to have sex with a man who wants it, according to MRA sites.

#womencansee

Hungry constantly? - While men can eat the same amount every day, womens intake needs fluctuate through the month. You're starving and binging when you're bleeding because you actually needed to gradually increase food intake in the week BEFORE you bleed, but you ignore your body's requests because you've been told you should use self control and eat the same amount all the time. If you pay attention theres a reverse around ovulation where you can comfortably eat much less than normal so even if youre trying to control your weight you can do it while moving with your body's natural rhythms.

That's fascinating, as are the other things on that post.

@Bloodmagic do you have any links to papers / articles on this?

@Ereshkigal "But one person spouting their ideas on the internet is not the same as being in a relationship with anyone gaslighting you.

It's not. But it does feel quite similar especially when others enable it. So some women are going to push back against it."

Yes, I get that. I don't disagree. But sadly I think it leaves us always in a position of reacting, not being proactive. We should be being proactive too, I wonder how we can shore up the rights we think we have now. I wonder if a lot of anti women laws are coming in under the radar, I wonder if maybe there are other things we can do.

I really do not have a problem with people pushing back, but I think sometimes engaging just gives oxygen to the people with bizarre ideas.

I really do not have a problem with people pushing back, but I think sometimes engaging just gives oxygen to the people with bizarre ideas.

I agree it sometimes does, but I know I often can't bear to see things going unchallenged. We all have to do what we see fit. We can't really impose our own preferences and standards on others.

@AskBasil wow, that is scary. "Nagging, misgendering and violence"

#womencansee

That is chilling.

I wonder if there are ways to show this thinking to politicians and those making laws because I really think there is a point in that article. The whole punching of women who they are wrongly identifying as terfs is a scary aspect of this.

Using the idea that misgendering is violence may be a way to enact violence, it is happening now.

The whole idea of terfs is ridiculous. People who are uncomfortable with self id don't have a problem with trans people. Lots of people on here are delighted to hear transsexual women here and hear their thoughts. I've been on many threads asking about trans men and their thoughts.

The real thing we don't like is violent males so does that make us vmews (violent male excluding women) or vmefs (violent male excluding females)? I saw someone asking something similar somewhere!

Certainly calling us all names and identifying us a thing 'a terf' appears to excuse hatred of us.

Misgendering is not violence.

I do think the laws around 'hate speech' etc need tidying up so it is clear that people can identify things that are true but not incite violence in any direction.

I wonder if we need more anti-misogyny laws to combat this?

I wonder what people in authority and power are also concerned with all this.

Ereshkigal "We can't really impose our own preferences and standards on others."

Absolutely, I completely agree. I hope I did not look like I was suggesting others should not.

But just as an example. The lady on that thread ended up being booted off it, and the other person ended up as a 'victim'.

I'm on a forum where I used to engage, did not get anywhere. Now I just read. If they talk about a terrible (should be banned TV programme), I watch it. If they say something like this petition is awful, I make sure I check it out! But absolutely, each to their own.

But just as an example. The lady on that thread ended up being booted off it, and the other person ended up as a 'victim'.

Yes, and I'm sure we can all agree who the real victim was there. That's a fine example of DARVO.

Not from you, obviously, from them! Worried I wasn't clear enough.

What does DARVO stand for?

Deny Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

LangCleg

Having woken up earlier this week in the middle of the night crying and in a pool of blood, I'd rather like to appropriate your period experience. Not sure how well that's going to work out for me though.

But just as an example. The lady on that thread ended up being booted off it, and the other person ended up as a 'victim'.

Subsequently that transwoman was banned, as were five or six others, including a transwoman moderator.

They went too far.

CadyHeron

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

It's a well known abusers' tactic. Hence it's become an acronym.

Women who are at the coalface of domestic violence and abuse are only too well aware of this sequence.

It's fairly chilling when you see it played out by men who have no idea their behaviour has been previously noted, documented, and analysed.

What fuckery is this?!? Am pretty speechless at the audacity of it all.

The world has properly gone insane.

I think sometimes engaging just gives oxygen to the people with bizarre ideas
That's kinda where i come from.

There's so many big debates to have that engaging with individual TRAs and handing them amunition to go down the 'boohoo look at these nasty women' seems counterproductive to me.

Biological men cannot have menstrual cycles. That is a fact.
Why name call people who choose to kid themselves? If they're so wrapped up in their lies/thoughts/fantasy then so be it. I'd rather call out the idea than give victim fodder to someone who probably believes stating biological reality is violence

It would be funny if it wasn't really happening. Suddenly madness is normality.

I really do not have a problem with people pushing back, but I think sometimes engaging just gives oxygen to the people with bizarre ideas.

It is a catch 22, I think. Failure to object is deemed acquiescence, while engaging with trolls gives them the attention they crave.
I am trying to learn to engage enough for the lurkers to see there is objection and then stop. It is a steep learning curve for me that I have been climbing and backsliding on since I was a snarky teen.

failure to object is deemed acquiescence

Yep, yep

I am trying to learn to engage enough for the lurkers to see there is objection and then stop.

That's why the rules of misogyny are good. Is possible the use them to highlight behaviour without engaging too much.

I'm not name calling when I say a male who believes he has periods is delusional. That's the very definition of what a delusion is. It's not an insult.

AngryAttackKittens

It's possible that I'm the only woman here who's getting very tired of the constant attempts to tone police other commenters, but I doubt it.

Nope. In fact I've been mulling this over for days. It's an issue that comes up regularly with my DH (Disclaimer: he is no more an ass than I am in this relationship. At times. We just do different things. This is one of his.)

I always get told if only I'd been nicer, kinder, friendlier in saying something, asking for something. But I've actually tested it - it doesn't make a blind bit of difference how I raise an issue or make a request when he is not inclined to cooperate. None. Absolutely zero bloody difference.

Well, that's not quite true. In actual fact, what happens when I self-censor is that I put myself into a submissive position of giving way and giving way and giving way until my space is where I'm standing and his is the whole world. He senses blood when I do it and goes for the jugular thinking "she's already given in on that, what else can I gain ground on". I never win when I tone police.

Sometimes standing your ground means not giving a flying fuck about offending someone because the issue goes way beyond hurt feelings.

Sometimes it's a line in the sand I need to draw unequivocally. Without pussyfooting around. This far. No further.

And that's where I'm getting to with this issue about self-id and women's rights. I will admit that when I first became aware of it, I found some of the women who were entirely uncompromising harsh, offensive even. But I get it now. This having to be nice all the time, to care about other people's feelings, to put other people's needs above our own, it's why we are here.

DH doesn't give a shit about my feelings (or anyone else's for that matter) when he needs something that is absolutely vital to him. So, why should I?

TRAs or that person thinking they're having periods - they don't give a shit about our feelings. So why should I give a shit about theirs? Especially when it's about using pronouns talking about randoms on the internet. Just to have the moral high ground? Just so that other lot of randoms can't pronoun-police me? Fat lot of good that's going to do me when my rights are gone.

Fighting for your rights isn't pretty. It cannot be sanitised.

No it absolutely is not just you, Angry.