When your own sibling is a transactivist <sigh>

[SerfNTerf]

Boycotting a national transport network because their driver called them "Sir" (they are 6ft 6 with stubble)

Identifying as a "nympho slut chick" on social media and insisting that they are reclaiming the word slut when pulled up on it.

Insisting that they are "100% feminine female biological woman".

Also "reclaiming" the word dyke.

Denouncing all and sundry for transphobia on a daily basis.

They have autism and I'm absolutely CONVINCED this is at the root of this particular obsession/delusion but sadly they've found a whole community online and to some extent in RL who are encouraging it.

And yeah I'm using "they" which doesn't come easy at all. I don't really know what else I can do and still maintain some sort of family relationship. They will one day be my responsibility as our parents had him very late (I'm much older) and they may well never be able to live fully independently. I cannot become estranged but FFS!!

I've seen some FtT using the most awful insults ever. Not just highly gendered but impressively creative regarding the depths to which they plummet

When I first became interested in all this I had a look at some things that FtTs were saying and they were quite awful. To be honest, though, they did remind me a little of the 'tude of some (certainly not all) butch lesbians I came across in the 80s. They looked for ways to mimic men's behaviour to put women down - and as a young and marginal feminist (out of my age bracket and social class) I was often the butt of their jibes. What I think it was all about then was a realisation of powerlessness and the desire for power on a very individual level. Men had power over women and instead of challenging this they mimicked men's ways to get power over more vulnerable women. They used tactics like ridicule, being patronising, sexual harassment and using women sexually (some young lesbians I know were quite badly treated). Often, these women were not challenged by men or in an everyday sense exposed to 'full volume' patriarchy because they moved in mostly women's spaces (rape crisis centres, nursing, social work, lesbian social spaces, etc). TBH I loathed them and did not call them sister. Many FtTs remind me of them - the bragging about looking strong, taking 'T', being aggressive, forgetting how to cry, being oppressive to women / feminists, etc. I remember reading one who was relishing feeling violent on 'T', enjoying the increased sex drive and justifying 't' for her desire to fuck as many women as possible. She was quite clear that she saw women as inferior, as things and she loved her power over them. In the toilet discussions a while back I said I was not comfortable sharing women's spaces with such women. Maybe I will have to. Maybe I will have to recognise them as women in the biological sense, but I won't call them 'sister', and I'm fucked if I will care much about their welfare.

Young, confused women wanting to transition becase of a range of MH issues, confusion, body issues, fear of being lesbian, etc. are a different kettle of fish. The above does not describe FtTs in general, but a subset I thoroughly dislike.

Finally, interestingly, in a few instances where I did see the women of the 80s interact with men it was often in quite traditional subserviet ways (I thought to myself once 'my, even butch dykes such cock' - metaphorically of course). I see similar with many FtTs who suck up to the MtTs who of course run the activism with the FtTs as their handmaidens and helpmeets.

Final caveat that I am talking about subsets above and not making generalisations.

YetAnotherSpartacus

Fascinating observations. And goes to underline that we need three loos. Male, female, unisex/gender neutral.

One of the things that the trans-ideology has lifted the lid on is the way men and women interact.

The complex power dynamic that arises and who exploits it unconsciously and who exploits it intentionally.

The pushback from feminists has made many men yank their gloves off as quickly as possible and start punching bare fisted.

People who were fooled by the veneer of equality are shocked. (Not feminists, obviously).

Sorry, posted to soon.

I'm constantly disturbed by how much of what I'm seeing is misogyny. Not isolated incidents. Not due to a specific set of circumstances. Not someone losing their head or being backed into a corner.

Just misogyny.

Connecting so many dots.

When Germaine Greer said women don't realise how much men hate them, I dismissed it as skewed.

It isn't.

*I'm constantly disturbed by how much of what I'm seeing is misogyny. Not isolated incidents. Not due to a specific set of circumstances. Not someone losing their head or being backed into a corner.

Just misogyny*

I think there has been a massive rise in misogyny since the turn of the millennium. I think a lot is fuelled by the internet and other is backlash. On a thread long disappeared a while back I said that my view is that ultimately (many) men do not really regard women as real human beings and that there is a latent envy of older generations of men who could own and control women and I stand by this.

Yes, I once dismissed GG too ... and whereas I think she has been quite misogynist and individualist in her day I think she is right on this one.

Sorry - I also posted too soon. What I mean is that I think that the trans phenomena is part of a broader surge of misogyny that includes violence against women, porn, the justification of prostitution, on-line trolling, etc., not separate from it.

men do not really regard women as real human beings and that there is a latent envy of older generations of men who could own and control women and I stand by this.

Yes you might have something there. Young men who see their parents having a more traditional marriage, and encountering women who have no intention of replacing their mother in that role.

Young men who see their parents having a more traditional marriage, and encountering women who have no intention of replacing their mother in that role

Yes ... and I think radical feminism needs to do more to highlight this 'everyday' sexism and reinforcement of gender roles than it currently does. I've been meaning to post on that, but have been distracted.

men do not really regard women as real human beings and that there is a latent envy of older generations of men who could own and control women and I stand by this.
This is clarifying so much for me.
*
Yes you might have something there. Young men who see their parents having a more traditional marriage, and encountering women who have no intention of replacing their mother in that role*

So they're actually just mad that women aren't settling for subjugation?

Pretty much WhattheChuff. Plus, men in teh olden days got to feel 'em, fuck 'em and forget 'em even if they got them pregnant. They didn't have to contend with pesky EO in the workplace piss weak as it is, they didn't have so many women saying 'no' to them (the birth of the MRL) and their language and behaviour around women was not so patrolled. Now these pesky wimmins are beginning to stand up for themselves ... [caveat, we've made baby steps, patriarchy is still largely intact].

I get the impression my own DP humours me and really considers himself superior - he certainly thinks he has the testicles of objectivity and can correct me for my dreadful biased subjectivity when I call out instances of sexism...

testicles of objectivity

Haha.

They must be nestling under his Penis of Wisdom.

So they're actually just mad that women aren't settling for subjugation?

Nutshell.

They must be nestling under his Penis of Wisdom

I nicked that from here!

They swing under his penis of omnipotence ... I resist the desire to kick them

All fuelled by his Testosterone of Truth, no doubt.

Yep - nicking that one too.

I am getting more and more concerned abiut this issue.

Dds school have introduced 6 safe spaces for trans children. They are rooms that a child struggling with their gender can go speak about it in a safe space.

I challenged them and asked where the safe spaces for girls that have been sexually assaulted or abused are. There are none. Despits my daugter and her friends having a much higher chance of assaulted or abused than of being trans. I didnt even ask for them to srop the trans safe spaces. Just provide one for girls. But no apparantly its because trans children suffer mental health problems if they have no support
As though girls dont have their mental health impacted by being (essentially) female in a sexist world.

The safe spaces disappeared after many complainta and became general safe spaces instead.

Then at work no one eould challenge a transwoman wgen sge wasnt adhering to the dress code, whilst coming down hard on everyone else.

I ended up being the only manager who would dare challenge them. So then a grievance was raised against me for being a terf and upset by the trans womens feminity and beauty. Thats was actually written in it thankfully our HR team and directors supported me and cleared me. I followed the correct procedure. I hated being accused of those things.

I just feel like the world is going mad.

I am sure many TRAs actually just hate women.

Saiman

That's awful. Makes my blood boil.

Being trans gets you a free pass it seems.

You did the right thing. Statistically trans youth is no more suicidal or troubled than youth in general.

I just hated that my dd is at real serious risk of sexual assault (as all females are) and that was deemed as important as the trans issue

I feel like womens rights are going backwards not forwards.

SerfNTerf

Do you have children? If so, how did the children react after they first saw them presenting as a female?

I’m nearly 40, currently going through this and started off with the very liberal position, fully accepting the standard trans narrative. Must be woman stuck in mans body. Must be loving and supportive. Didn’t really think about trans issues at all before this kicked off but no problem with trans people. But the more I read, the more confused I get.

My brother is in his 40s, heterosexual (no wife or kids thankfully) and never showed any supposedly feminine traits or characteristics growing up. Into science, maths, tech, didn’t have lots of female friends. Always a bit selfish and entitled if I’m truly honest. When I asked if he had always felt like a girl growing up he said no just “different”, he’d only “realised” a few years ago that he must be transgender. Series of mental health problems over the years.

Regardless of the causes of all this, I feel uncomfortable about being forced into continuing the sibling relationship as if nothing happened. Why should I celebrate this? IAlso how do I make it easier on my children (we haven’t seen him as her yet?)

The standard blurb goes that children are very accepting but the trans widow thread suggested that some were actually scared and found it creepy.

Why is it controversial to basically think that I am a woman because I am a biological female. Not because I self-identify as one, not because I feel that I am a woman and not because I desperately want to be one.

I doubt my brother will find the solution to all his problems in this because (imho) he can never become a woman. Just a parody of one. And then what?