When your own sibling is a transactivist <sigh>

[SerfNTerf]

Boycotting a national transport network because their driver called them "Sir" (they are 6ft 6 with stubble)

Identifying as a "nympho slut chick" on social media and insisting that they are reclaiming the word slut when pulled up on it.

Insisting that they are "100% feminine female biological woman".

Also "reclaiming" the word dyke.

Denouncing all and sundry for transphobia on a daily basis.

They have autism and I'm absolutely CONVINCED this is at the root of this particular obsession/delusion but sadly they've found a whole community online and to some extent in RL who are encouraging it.

And yeah I'm using "they" which doesn't come easy at all. I don't really know what else I can do and still maintain some sort of family relationship. They will one day be my responsibility as our parents had him very late (I'm much older) and they may well never be able to live fully independently. I cannot become estranged but FFS!!

To be honest I think it catches most people unawares. I knew nothing about the subject before. I wasn't gender critical until I saw the effect of trans beliefs in practice. I've learnt a lot in a short time. There's a lot I wish I didn't know

"Sadly, all we have is Mermaids" - that must be the saddest thing I have ever read, personally I would not touch Mermaids with a barge pole as they actively endorse transexuality. Suzie Green's own child is transexual. Sorry but I refuse to use the sanitised version of the word they use, just because it doesn't sound quite so scary, but the reality is that Mermaids support the notion of young people having sex change surgery. My normalising such practices, society steps on a very slippery slope to self annihilation. The procedure leaves little or nothing in the way of reproductive choices and anyone that condones and endorses such practices really does need to look in the mirror.

Yes usui and Mermaids is offered as first place to go to for support by some very well meaning people and organisations. It is frightening, truly. I would love to know from users of Mermaids if they have ever received support for being gender critical or preferring 'watchful waiting'

If you want science based support then try:

www.transgendertrend.com/

They kept me from going insane....

I've been reading up about blockers, hormones and surgery. It is nothing less than scandalous.

Going the whole hog (for boys) leaves you infertile, dilating forever and your 'sexual function' is compromised. And don't get me started on girls.

And this is a decision made by 12 year olds.

And because of the infertility aspect, they are now trying to find ways to get around it, scientifically, in a sort of test tube version on steroids.

All encouraged and promoted by middle aged men, often fathers, who yearn to 'pass'.

Ffs.

I was signposted to the other trans parental support "Gendered Intelligence" and my experience with them was nothing short of scandalous. By their own admission (I have emails showing this) they actively encourage transexualism within their support groups of young people, this is taken from their website:

*Young trans people aged 8 or over are welcome to attend our Under 16 group in London and our Saturday sessions in London. At the moment, our groups in Leeds and Bristol are open for young people aged 13-20. If you are a young trans person under the age of 13 and would like to come along to the group, please get in touch.

I also have some of the materials given out during these sessions where it actually encourages young people to "keep away from transphobes" (gender critical parents?)and some of the materials are frankly too graphic to write about - look at the ages of the support groups 13-20...... and age 8 and the under 16 group???? Why are these kids not climbing trees, running, laughing and having fun? What 8 year old would independently consider gender identity unless of course some adult just happened to mention it?

This thread is interesting. So many non-trans people on here discussing what it is to be trans. And the crux of it all is that said non-trans people have a better handle on what it is to be trans than the so-called trans-activists do. That, to me, speaks volumes. And I want to applaud so many comments here - too many to mention.

I am trans. Trans-activists shake me to my very core. They are a vocal group claiming to speak for a minority, and they are influencing potentially vulnerable people within society. Potentially warping such people. providing such people with a voice that might otherwise not be heard. In short, trans-activists are manipulating. The ideologies to which they claim to belong to not having the ability to stand up on their own two feet, ta's are being reduced to manipulative dissonance. TA's sicken me to my core, and I say that as a trans person.

I hope you don't mind me commenting on this thread. I don't want to encroach on it, but I just felt like I had to say my piece. Because I feel that my own identity is being threatened. Not by people here, but by people who claim to speak for me. OP, your OP hit a very real chord with me. The antagonistic approach of your sibling, who sounds like a person who just wants to hit out at the world, is tantamount to a person who is fighting against their dismay by using a (for want of a better word) "movement" as a way in which to express their own concerns.

Ripples It's so useful to hear your views. I'm glad you felt able to comment here.

ripples - you are very welcome here

ripples, it is important that you speak out against transactivism. There are so many liberal feminists who think they do trans people a favour by letting the transactivists walk all over women and erode women's rights.

TRAs have already succeeded in me rolling my eyes whenever someone on the internet says they are trans. And if I ever see a trans person in real life, I will run for the hills, because there's a chance they'll be deluded about biology and attack the moment someone mentions that they still have the body of their actual sex.

Transactivists succeed because most people still think things are like they were before, when there were a few transsexuals who got surgery, didn't get in anyone's way, and wouldn't have dreamt of demanding access to spaces designed to give the sex they want to be, but aren't, some privacy.

When people wake up to the reality of transactivism, it will be the other way round, and every transwoman will be assumed to intend to invade women's spaces. Every tall woman entering a women's toilet will be eyed with suspicion.

When the nonsense is finally over (as I hope it will be, just like the Green Party's embarrassing plans to legalize pedophilia), the males who wanted to invade our spaces will go back to crossdressing only in their bedrooms, and the wrath of the general population, who will by then know how many rapes have been perpetrated by so-called transwomen with penises, will hit all those who had surgery and cannot reverse it and are therefore identifiable as trans.

As all the transwacktivism is so nonsensical, I really can't say if the idiotic libfems might wake up if someone who identifies as trans points this out to them, but it is worth a try.

(Though I wager you'd have to be either a passing transman or non-passing transwoman for them to pay attention. The misogyny is strong in them)

ripples has commented here before. Hello ripples. And, from what I remember, their opinion of transactivists has always been the same as ours.

But ripples, it's quite true what Vestal says about the eye rolling as soon as someone says they are trans. Unfortunately I've seen so many threads starting with those words that degenerate into abuse.

They, and there ever more ridiculous claims, are the only thing people hear. Because people like you, who just want to get on with it and are also under threat, simply aren't being heard.

So yes, of course you are welcome to comment here. In fact, I would urge you to do so. There are many more lurkers than posters.

Although, tragically, I think it might be too late. People are waking up to transactivists and tarring everyone with the same brush.

I learned from lurking on these threads. I've read ripples posts and tumbletrans and Miranda Yardley. All very reasoned and intelligent.
There tends to be the knee jerk 'transphobe' reaction to posts in Chat and AIBU about this, even if they are genuinely questioning some aspect. No one wants to be called this but that word as lost all meaning for me because now it means anyone who even asks a bloody question.

We are reading even if we don't always feel able to comment. Keep going and thank you.

WhattheChuff

It might just be me, but have you noticed that the threads started in AIBU or chat tend to be less reactionary these days?

Every time I have read about a libfem or just a regular woman who has changed their mind, it's usually because they say that although they had the 'transphobe!' reaction originally, the indisputable logic behind the, let's call it terf point of view, won them over in the end. And I'm sure the TRA modus operandi of abuse, helps.

I'm sure I detect a slight change of opinion. But I could be wrong.

It might just be me, but have you noticed that the threads started in AIBU or chat tend to be less reactionary these days?

I was just about to say the same thing.

It's definitely less than it used to be. I've seen more posters raging about it than rallying around it which is heartening.
Perhaps people are starting to really think about it.

Some posters say it will eat itself - I have a feeling it will too. I just hope genuine gender dysphoric don't get lumped in with the radicalised TRAs.

Some posters say it will eat itself - I have a feeling it will too.

I now think/hope so too. Let's hope that this happens before laws are fundamentally changed.

I just hope genuine gender dysphoric don't get lumped in with the radicalised TRAs.
Yes. I don't know how it will be possible to separate these people out, legally, from the people with AGP and teenagers who are confused and struggling.

I can sympathise, I knew an individual like this and I had to cut them off because it was getting too much, It must be really difficult when said individual is a sibling.

I think the world has gone mad, don't get me wrong I fully believe that transgender people exist but we're seeing an increasing amount of people who for example say they're trans females but want to go around with stubble, balls hanging out in dresses, and no desire to actually feminise themselves THEN using the excuse of 'YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT DEFINES FEMININITY'. Being trans is so much more than just dressing up in women's clothes and putting makeup on. If that's the behaviour they want to exhibit and how they want to present themselves that's great but I really wish they wouldn't do it under the label of transgender because it's quite insulting to people who actually go through the emotional trauma of hating the parts they were born with and having countless surgeries to rectify their body to match who they are in their heads.

All encouraged and promoted by middle aged men, often fathers, who yearn to 'pass'

Interestingly, the TRAs I mostly come across are in the age range of 16-30. They are more SJW types and remind me of the man who the OP describes. They are not the middle-aged perves so often described here.

I will have to interact with one very soon (in a professional context). This young man is latently violent, dresses like a punk (think 'Little Britain'), is narcissistic, aggressive, overbearing and has a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas. He is also a raving misogynist. He talks over women, corrects women, always makes it about him, dismisses women's opinions and claims to be a woman. No woman can have an opinion that contradicts his and he always guilt-trips women into thinking he is the oppressed party. He is pro porn and sees prostitution (of course no one is allowed to refer to it as that) as empowering. He claims validity for this view because he is 'trans'. There is nothing remotely 'feminine' (note inverted commas) about this person - he does not even try to pass.

There are many more like him. I don't think they give a damn for 'real' transgendered people or any of the SJ causes they promote. I think their motivation is hatred of women - pure and simple. I also think that many want some naive young people ripe and ready for them to fuck, but I'll leave that one for now.

Thank you for your story Spartacus, it also serves to illustrate how these young people are also able to influence and indoctrinate other vulnerable people into their way of thinking. Their ability to rationalise their arguments based on the biggest house of cards I have ever seen is mindblowing. That some of us are able to retain any degree of sanity amidst this hysterical cognitive dissonance is testimony to our own individual strength of character. How long before a woman is actually killed (as I very nearly was) before the policy makers actually sit up and take notice of who the real oppressors are?

Good luck YetAnotherSpartacus - if the professional interaction is working with this person as a colleague, then you just have to think "high status" take-no-prisoners, call him out on his rudeness.

If you have to deal with him as customer or patient, then it's more difficult.

But in both cases, there are basic rules of politeness & respect which are due to you (think of all those signs around the Tube about the expectation that Tube employees are not to be abused or threatened!)

And come here to rehearse or off-load. But I'm sure you'll manage it brilliantly!

Usui - yes - it (the way that young people are being indoctrinated) terrifies me. TBH I also often imagine some of the TRAs I come across doubling up as the kind of misogynistic trolls who make women's on-line lives a misery. I don't even think that some have any form of dysphoria / dysmorphia at all. It's all about power for them. And vulnerable young people who do experience dysphoria or dysmorphia or who experience other MH issues are ripe for their foul pickings.

How long before a woman is actually killed (as I very nearly was) before the policy makers actually sit up and take notice of who the real oppressors are

Sorry - I forgot ... this might seem thoughtless and harsh but I don't think that policy-makers actually care about dead women, I really don't. :(

And come here to rehearse or off-load. But I'm sure you'll manage it brilliantly

He's trying to make me lose my temper / cool and then he'll go me with an official complaint. I must keep calm....

YetAnotherSpartacus

Actually, I am inclined to agree with you. The focus seems to have shifted from the older, late transitioning AGP trans-woman, to a younger, far more violently misogynistic one. With or without AGP. Or perhaps they feel far more confident in coming out at a younger age, now.

Cross dressing fetishists used to hide their sexual activity, but now it is legitimised and normalised. So no need to hide it.

The person you describe seems to be very typical, online at least.

And you are right, it is very hard to counter because they will cry trans-oppression.

Most women expect a certain amount of sexism from men. How difficult is it to now to call out male sexism from someone who says they are a woman?

That's erasure in action, right there.