Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

[Enzouk]

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

Yeah we get it. Women are shallow and bitchy and the poor men's are just saying hi, that's all. You know how you could avoid these rude women? Take a guess. Go on.

Venusinscorpio...i think that its completely wrong...and id i had a brother or close mate who i sae do that i would have a go at them...just like i say i would not want my female family members to just swear at random guys for merely saying hi and trying to get to know them.

I do actually understand that women have to.go through a lot of sh*t too you know. I feel like it is a shame that some of the idiots of the male gender spoil it for others but at the same time there are women who are idiots too who can be quite malicious to guys.

I feel that the street harassment is somehow worse, OP.

OP "just like i say i would not want my female family members to just swear at random guys for merely saying hi and trying to get to know them"

What does trying to get to know them mean? If there's no enthusiasm after saying hi, then you move on.

I feel like it is a shame that some of the idiots of the male gender spoil it for others

BOOM! There we have it right there. Males spoil the game for other males. Not a shame that males invade women's personal space and make them feel unsafe. No, that's not what concerns him, just that he doesn't get to practise his game and "try his luck" because an asshole went before him.

When I was 30 and a fairly new Mum, I met up with an old friend in a bar in Bristol. We got there early, got a table and gradually the space around us filled up with young handsome affluent student types. And they started trying to get our attention.

I wasn't interested because
I was about 10 years older than them
I had a partner and a baby
I was there to have a lovely catch up with my friend.

But the fuckers wouldn't leave us alone; they sort of came at us in waves all night. And they were all very outraged that we weren't falling for the posh boy charm and no we didn't want a drink or to go to a party and could you be a good boy and leave us alone now please.

The sheer sense of entitlement was breathtaking.

Yes, entirely, Jen.

Venusscorpio who is to say what is worse..surely a large part of that depends on not only what is said but how the person takes it and what their life experiences are?

I mean i saw a stat that something like 3 to 4 times as many men commit suicide as women. Now suicide is pretty much the most ultimate statistic for assessing how bad someone has it. I would hazard a guess that many of the guys who do that are lonely and have had bad experiences with women. I think i read that a laxk of reproductive success is a big factor in suicide quite often because the guy can feel like he has nothing to live for. Can you say with confidence that women have things worse than.guys considering that stat? And for anyone who wants to be flippant about it...imagine that is your brother, or son etc.

From what ive seen alot of the time a man will aproach the woman will try abmnd politly show they arent interested and thenman doesnt take the hint so then gets called creepy or told to piss off. He then gets upset as he didnt take the hint in thenfirst place and they are bitches.

What planet is this guy on???

Street harassment is definitely worse than being rebuffed by someone you try to chat up. Both have happened to me.

And you're blaming women for male suicide rates? Not macho culture, lack of encouragement for men tl seek help with mental health difficulties. .. no, it's those bitchy women who won't have sex with them.

Sadmummytrapped...yes that happens too but i've also seen what i have described many times where the 'ugly' guy is mocked but the attractive guy getting away with murder (as that tinder experiment showed)

Btw...thats not a nice username...i hope you feel happier now than when you created it.

JenLindleyShitMom i have no idea but on that note im off to bed.

Fuck me, I feel terrible now. I'll have sex with the next randomer who approaches me.

(Actually, DH might be a bit pissed off by that)

The OP's manifesto seems to be:

1. A woman must always respond positively to conversations initiated by men who are strangers.
2. A woman must not form an opinion on the attractiveness of the strange man.
3. A woman must not form an opinion on the creepiness of the strange man.
4. Women must not talk to their friends about the strange man.
5. The man must be made to feel welcome and included by the women, even if he is interrupting their evening.
6. Some unfortunate men do not have as much sex as they would like. Women should make allowances for these poor souls, up to and including having sex with them...despite how creepy or unattractive they may be (see points 2 & 3 above).

OP, are you The Donald in disguise?

Why are you so invested in what women do OP? You can't force them to be nice to you or fancy you.

My favourite reaction to my entirely neutral "I'm not interested" was the man yelling at me "FUCKING FAT LESBIAN". after that time I stopped bothering even acknowledging someone I no interest in.

PerspicaciaTick, quite clearly i haven't said any of those things but it's an interesting narrative.

Marbleheadjohnson, its a fact that men who have had less success with women are much more likely to commit suicide...and that makes sense doesn't it? Seeing as the vast majority of us have a biological desire to reproduce then when certain men are not successful at it then they are more likrly to be depressed to the point of suicide. This wasn't my point reharding suicide though...i brought it up as a general point because the inference here seems to be that women generally have things tougher. (E.g. Street harassment being worse than a group of girls mocking a guy for his undesirable looks). If women actually had things tougher in general then they definitely wouldn't be commiting suicide at only a quarter of the rate.

I'm 43. If I approached an 18 year old boy and struck up a flirty conversation with him, or any conversation in a bar, I'm pretty confident he would think it creepy and I would get a negative response.

Yet older men thought it perfectly acceptable to approach me when I was a teenager.

If men's reason for suicide is a desire to reproduce, why are there so many cases where men annhilate all their offspring before committing suicide?

Can you point me to some proof of this fact? Genuinely interested.

One reason male suicide rates are higher is because they tend to opt for methods that are less likely to fail. They are also less likely to seek help. I don't have all the stats to hand but I have read a fair few, having an interest in improving mental health and having attempted suicide myself. I have never seen rejection from women being suggested as a cause, or even correlation for high male suicide rates.

I don't understand why in a bar or club, ie places not known for deep and thoughtful conversation, the very universal social rule that attractive people are more successful than unattractive people would be less (rather than more) likely to hold true? There are any number of studies about how physically attractive people get paid more, are more likely to be successful, work better as models in advertising etc etc. This is not news.

Also, persisting with pestering a group of women because you think the above is unfair in some way, and women aren't allowed to be unfair to poor plain looking blokes (and if they commit suicide as a result it will be in part because of this unfair rejection) IS creepy.

Why should anyone have to talk to anyone? If loudly calling it creepy makes it stop, but being polite doesn't, then the need for escalation has been created by the creepy pesterer, not by the pesterees.

So OP, you genuinely think men have a tougher time in general than women? Based on male suicide rates? A number of assumptions and a big jump there, don't you think?

No venus, it's a fact

Men are also less likely to have caring responsibilities for children or relatives who would be massively impacted by their suicide in a practical way. (Other than the emotional impact)

OP you honestly think that being turned down occasionally in bars and having hurt feelings is worse than what women put up with?

• On average, two women a week are killed in the UK by a partner or ex-partner
• Nearly one in three girls have experienced unwanted sexual touching in UK schools
• Over 40% of women in the UK have experienced sexual or physical violence, with the vast majority of violent crime being committed by men

And while all of this crap is happening, we still get paid substantially less than men, we are not represented in the corridors of power (MPs, CEOs, exec board members, newspaper front pages etc).

Yet you think MEN have a hard time because of suicide rates?