Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

[Enzouk]

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

'Some of you casually admit that you couldn't care less if the very average looking man doesn't have much dating success...but then would you feel the same way in future if that happens to be your son or other close relative?'

I've responded to this kind of sentiment on other threads. A consequence of women getting rights is that very many of them don't want to date, don't want to have sex, don't want to marry and don't want to have children. Many men are not going to be fathers, not going to be husbands, and not going to be boyfriends or sexual partners as often as they would like.

This is not some terrible outcome to be corrected.

Many men are going to have to find alternative ways of finding a social place in the world, and stop treating women as something they're entitled to.

So I think I've been a good parent (and not hateful) by raising my son without the assumption he will get a woman and kids, and by helping him to develop good ways of building strong social bonds with others.

It is not going to help men if they delude themselves by listening to red pill advice that teaches them to treat women poorly and expect that they can get to 35 or 40 and some 22 year old virgin is going to be leaping at the chance to marry them.

Wait, people who meet people for sex solely based on pictures and a short description find some of those pictures more attractive than others

Well, color me flabbergasted.

"couldn't care less if the very average looking man doesn't have much dating success..."

I couldn't care less if any given man has much dating success, whatever his looks.

And if my sons want advice on dating, I'll suggest what worked for my various liaisons - get to know someone a bit first. School, uni, hobbies, jobs - have dated men from all these, some better looking than others, some taller, shorter, darker, fairer, whatever. Because I got on with them and there was a spark.

But that's just crazy talk, I guess...

I'm not talking about a mann approaching a woman in some unsafe environment where she might feel threatened

Where are these safe environments where women aren't approached by men expecting sexual interest to be reciprocated? I would quite like to visit these safe places for women, they sound ace! where are they?

I love having my husband and kids (of course) and if any of my three children WANT a partner and kids, certainly I hope they'll be able to have them.

But they're not entitled to them. That's ridiculous.

I spent sometime building a new friendship group this year.

One of these new friends expressed an interest in going on a date, I declined. He won't drop it and whilst polite will occasionally text asking me out. I find this creepy, won't respect my boundaries and no I don't find him attractive but that isn't why I won't date him. He has a good job, car etc but still lives at home with no signs of becoming independent and also has an addictive personality (only coffee and whiskey at the moment but previously cigarettes and in my experience one addiction is often followed by others and that's not a situation I want to be in)

My sons are gorgeous (even though their dad is short )

I may be missing the point but i am not missing the chance to brag...

If these men are so undateable by women, why not broaden their pool and consider dating men (even the short/ugly/fat ones) - or is it only women that need to be shamed into dating men that they don't want to date?

But in all seriousness, I spent much of my early life being short, fat, ugly and unconfident. As a rule, the only people who did hit on me were creeps who thought I was drunk and desparate enough to sleep with them (as long as their mates didn't see). About 26 I came to my senses and got some self-esteem, and nothing else changed but that (I'm still short/fat and look exactly the same), yet I found blokes that I liked, and liked me, and now have 2 kids.

I think that if you're a bloke who considers himself undateable, the first thing you need to do is work on yourself, not try to guilt women into talking to you because your penis is sad.

It's really not rocket science, I am a bloke and certainly not in the Brad Pitt bracket when it comes to looks, but in my younger years had absolutely no trouble talking to women.

Didn't require asinine pick up artist skills or that ridiculous negging concept either. To the OP's less attractive friends the secret is simple be personable, friendly and fun.

Right from when I was very little I have always liked people, men, women, old or young I'll have a nice chat with anyone. All that is required is to observe non-verbal social cues, and only interact with people who are in that frame of mind.

If you make an effort to provide value to other people, you'll be rewarded with a solid circle of friends (of either gender), you'll find romantic opportunities will practically present themselves half the time.

Whilst I can relate to the experience of seeing an exceptionally beautiful woman, and feeling a bit nervous, trying to put all that out of your head in a zen like way and just stay the course and stick to being an all round fun and friendly person is a far healthier mental space to be in than unhealthily fixating on one woman who you wish was sending you signals but isn't.

I've seen some creepy men in my time too, once I was out drinking with a guy and gal pal of mine, she went out briefly and returned with some random guy flashing that wide eyed "who the fuck is this guy?" expression, so I sat up and offered her my spot so she was seated between me and our other friend. This other guy started banging on about tactile touching in a creepy way and then proceeded to put HIS head in MY lap so the top of his head was touching the top of her thigh. I cried out "Dude! I expect dinner, and flowers at least before you stick your head in my crotch!" And sent him packing with his tail between his legs. Now full disclosure I think I've come across a statistically negligible number of creepy woman, like one time a girl I didn't really know dragged me onto a dance floor with her teeth, and whilst yeah she was attractive it was just way way too off putting. However creepy men are legion. Socialise amongst both genders and it's self evident.

"because your penis is sad"

I cried out "Dude! I expect dinner, and flowers at least before you stick your head in my crotch!" And sent him packing with his tail between his legs.

So you say he did not proceed to buy you dinner and a bunch of flowers?

Shocking. Absolutely shocking!

No wonder that kind of dude can't get laid! You'd expect he'd listen to advice. Tsk.

There's a difference between talking to women and hitting on women
Hitting on women is always creepy, non creepy men don't need to go around "hitting" on women to get laid/into relationships.
Non creepy men talk to people, and let things naturally progress if there's chemistry between them and one of the people they talk to

Dervel seems to be saying he treats women as if they were people and therefore gets a positive response from them

Yeah maybe it could be the 'twist' in the next M Night Shyamalen movie?

LOL - exactly Dervel - the number one way to be attractive I think is to just be friendly and interested in the people you're talking to - this is easier if you see them as real people, and choose to talk to people who you find interesting, rather than chatting them up as if it's some special kind of conversation reserved for people you fancy.

You know, I knew my DP for a good year or two before we started hanging out a bit, I can't say that I found him at all attractive and it took quite a while for me to realise that there was something happening, because we just enjoyed each other's company. There was no creepiness, no nervousness, because we were just having fun, and that turned into a now 10 year long partnership, and I do find him attractive now (obviously).

This one-dimensional attraction to physical characteristics without looking for any depth in the relationship is an enormous problem if you don't have those desirable characteristics yourself, personality can take you at least as far as good looks, and it lasts a lot longer too.

dervel

It would be too much of a stretch

not try to guilt women into talking to you because your penis is sad.

This made my night

Chocchocporridge, I think your experience is very common.

Very many women become attracted to a man after they have known him for a long time.

Jesus Christ.

I've been an unattractive woman all my life, and sometimes overweight too.

And I can assure you that anything dished out by women to unattractive men, is dished out tenfold by men to unattractive women. Also, they sometimes forget I'm a woman (working in a mostly male environment) so I get to hear all the ins and outs of it too. Definitely, nothing women say to shame 'creepy' men, is anything like as horrible as what men say to shame 'munters'. HTH.

Also, they sometimes forget I'm a woman (working in a mostly male environment) so I get to hear all the ins and outs of it too.

Oh God, yes, this. Well, less so now most of them are married with young children.

Dervel, how does someone drag another onto a dance floor with their teeth? Was she biting your shirt or something?

Hmm... this thread makes this video spring to mind:

Yes. Having spent 16 years of my life in the military I can absolutely assure the op that as Boulevard says, anything women might say in this regard pales into insignificance to the absolute bile and misogynistic twattery that pours from the mouths of dudes when they forget I have a vagine and include me in their discussions(or at least vicinity). As the female boss it puts me in an awkward position with their wives and girlfriends as well, notwithstanding that I have witnessed their behaviour in bars and hotels various across the world. Jaw-dropping arse-holery on the part of men in bars isn't limited to the sad singles, I can assure you. And any woman is fair game, although fuck-a-pig night goes down well with a certain section of arseholes, with no holds barred discussing which of the available munters in the bar might be desperate enough and which dude would win given the available talent on offer.
And the op thinks women are the problem. How utterly naive.

Isn't it great DadWasHere that women can take the piss out of women's stereotyping

Yet obviously this goes over people's heads as seen on the comments below and the vile misogyny

Point missing: the first guy in that shit video is much more hot

I would make a snarky comment about that video being the least funny thing I've seen in a long time, but then I suppose I'm a humourless feminazi

Har har, rape, har har har. Aren't women shallow clueless bitches? Har har har.

There you go, Dadwashere, you got the response you were looking for. Enjoy.