Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

[Enzouk]

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

I just wish that people in general could be a bit more respectful to each other and consider the other's point of view.

Why? You're still going on about guys who spoil it for other guys, rather than guys spoiling it for women, despite more than one person pointing out the issues first time you said it.

I don't care whether average or below-average men are getting dates. I don't care if good-looking men are getting dates. (In any case, while there are some agreements on what is conventionally good-looking, we aren't all attracted to the same people.) I don't care whether women are getting dates, either. I go through phases of caring about whether I get dates, but mostly I am busy doing other stuff and I have increasingly little tolerance for men who only want to talk about themselves.

People do use online dating to start relationships. They're probably going to be on sites other than Tindr, though, if that's their goal. I have a friend who reckons most people on dating sites will be going for just 10% of the available pool for their preferences and the other 90% are going to be unlucky or will have to broaden their expectations.

I suspect you'd get on better here if you listened more, and stopped telling people how to behave to you. Go and read Everyday Sexism and then see why women are so angry. It's because all this shit happens everyday to nearly all women, and it's very, very tiring. We don't want to deal with men who expect us to owe them attention and sex. We don't owe you anything.

And I'm only here as procrastination from cleaning the windows.

Neither Bloom nor Clooney would interest me.

I suppose if Susan Boyle approached a group of men in a bar they wouldn't laugh in her face. They'd treat her exactly the same as if Jennifer Lopez came up to them.

So, in conclusion either we are all dicks, male of female. Or, more likely, some men and some women are dicks and attraction and social cues are a complex matter. And more attractive men and more attractive women tend to get more attention. I don't see why anyone would whine to the Mumsnet Feminism forum about this, it's not demonstrably worse for men than it is for women.

If anyone thinks I only talk to hawt menz, they clearly never met my husband.

What the fuck is wrong with short men [short]

Why is it such an insult to be 5 ft 6 or 5ft 8 both heights have been mentioned here

OP have your female relatives read your posts, i am betting no

Hahahhahahahaha

That was supposed to be shock not short

When you open a dictionary and look for irony... Enzo thinks he's been banned, comes back and writes a multiple paragraph post explaining why we are wrong again. And describes men who don't take a hint as "clueless".

Seriously dude. Take a hint. Or we'll start singing Meghan Trainor, and no one wants to hear me sing.

Hahah MrsT, I've had that song in my head the whole way through this thread

Ladies, ladies, ladies! With your swearing, and your rudeness, and your selfish inability to care about men's feelings! What are you thinking? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

I for one have realised the error of my ways, posting willy-nilly on a feminism board about silly little girls things when there are important male feelings out there that I really should be thinking of. I'm so silly, and selfish, and shallow. How can I fix this? To whom should I give the sex?

involuntary celibacy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cry me a fucking river!

Everyone selkie everyone

I've been very lucky in the men in my life so reading through this thread has been a bit of a revelation. I mean, I have read about how some men don't actually view women as people, but this is the first time I have encountered one. I believe the OP when he says he has seen some women be mean, he seems to think that therefore any random woman must provide an explanation for this as we are the Borg. He has not considered the possibility that some people are mean and that that means some women are mean because he does not consider women to be individual people who all have different motivations for their behavior.

In fact, the way OP has phrased most of his posts makes it sound as though he is discussing a mechanical malfunction in the sex dispenser. After all, that's what women are for , to give sex to any man that wants it. Oh, and never swear, feel angry, or heaven forbid, call a man out on bad behaviour, or even worse, reject him.

OP, I would recommend reading Doctor Nerdlove on this www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/03/how-to-not-be-creepy/

No.

I've only called a guy creepy if they act inappropriately, especially if they don't know that person.

I called a very hot guy creepy once as he kept trying to wink wink nudge nudge arrange for me to go back to his. Very attractive man but didn't want to do that and surely he would get that first time he asked?

This is presuming you are genuinely asking and aren't trying to be GOADY.

If you are then no creepy isn't the male equivalent of a tramp (female a man isn't attracted to).

Can you think of a word to describe a man who gets around/ is very sexual?

Other than cool of course (to his mates).

I'd offer to give the poor little diddums the sex, Selkie but I fear that as a post-menopausal woman, I'm not actually the sort of woman they want to recognise their intrinsic non-creepiness and totes harmless, non threatening attempts to monopolise my time and attention for their own ends. Funnily enough, I think it's only women they consider hot enough to be finishing their involuntary celibacy with.

Bahahaha I missed that.

I concede it is easier for women to get casual sex if they want it. I don't see this as a great problem that women are responsible for fixing. Moreover, I don't know many women for whom casual sex is a priority (I say this as someone who has had very niche casual sex). So the fact men are dangling the offer of casual sex for them is neither here nor there. (and let's not kid ourselves, you are talking about sex, not love, otherwise you wouldn't be wanging on about Tinder). It's like saying "None of these vegetarians will eat the beefburgers I'm offering!". Suck it up, you just have to wait until someone fancies that burger enough for their vegetarianism to waver.

The only person I can think of off the top of my head that I have actually called creepy was the man who wanted to pay me to take his virginity. He was creepy enough at the time, but when he popped up on my Facebook friend requests recently...

what you really want is absolute control....control to be rude if you want, control to shame a man if you want and control to shamelessly react very positively to the poor mannered 'hot' guy while telling others in your daily life how 'creepy' men can be.

And? So what you're really saying Enzo is how dare women want absolute control of their lives, and who do you suggest should have absolute control of women...hmm let me guess.

In fact, the way OP has phrased most of his posts makes it sound as though he is discussing a mechanical malfunction in the sex dispenser.

Very well put. "I keep putting in the niceness and I don't get the sex! This damn thing's broken!" I thought the reference to "any woman (or any person)" was quite telling. Almost like women weren't people or something.

Bored of you now, OP. You've had it explained to you in every possible way, but the fact that you don't get it demonstrates why you have these difficulties in life. Oops, sorry, I forgot that this is theoretical because you do have a girlfriend, of course you do.

OP are you aware that the label Feminist is not an insult, neither are Feminists exclusively women.
What did your mamma teach you?

"I just wish that people in general could be a bit more respectful to each other and consider the other's point of view."

No you don't. You just wish the bitches would just do as they're told.

You haven't listened to a word anyone has said. Here's the thing: if you go up to a woman who is reading, or chatting with her friend, or has her earphones in, then she is busy and you are interrupting her and that is rude. You are being rude. you have no right to expect her to be polite, let alone nice.

QueenSpartacusOfTheAndals - well, sounds like you are one of those who let your own gender down. Whether you care to listen to it, admit it or whatever.

Nah mate, I'm all right. You're the one who lets the entire human race down. Why not go back to wanking in your mum's spare room now and leave the grown ups to do the talking?

Does anyone remember Burke the Berk who insisted he had the right to just approach any random woman and tell her things like "you have beautiful eyes"? I think he's ba-ack...

Bit harsh, Queen.

I doubt it's a spare room at his mums, I think it's his and probably always has been

fuckity fuck fuck fuck arse cunt buggering hell!

It is okay to swear on here.

It is not okay to start threads with the sole purpose of being a goady fucker. And if you go through life being a goady fucker, well, you know all those horrid feministy women who are shaming you... perhaps it's not them, perhaps it's YOU-HOO! (Just a thought OP in case you're still reading from your PC in your mum's basement).

No ageing. He has a girlfriend. He's posting this altruistically on behalf of all those men who are suicidal because women aren't shagging them, which he claims is most depressed and suicidal men. FACT.

Why doesn't someone post something to make hot men be nicer to ugly women? Ya know, as an ugly woman who is really badly depressed and suicidal, I would really appreciate the help.

Granted, hot men becoming my boyfriends might not cure my depression, but it would sure make me feel better ....

Oh, wait. I actually view men as human beings and would be hurt if I found out that my hot boyfriend only got together with me out of pity and finds me disgusting and actually felt coerced when I hit on him.
Dammit, this really only works for sexist arsehole men who view women as commodity.

Almond I meant tall and thin in a gawky sort of way. The boyfriend I had before that was short and round and bearded long before beards were cool. What I said about body building types was in response to something the OP said, which I can go back and look for in a bit.

Men seem to have this odd idea of what women find attractive, is all I meant.