Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I thought I was a feminist until someone showed me this forum.

207 replies

debucnik · 18/04/2015 08:20

As in the title I was brought up to believe that feminism is about equality and choice but having recently been introduced to this forum it would appear that that is not the case. The forum gives the impression that feminism is not a choice but compliance to a set of rules.

When did feminism change to fight anyone who doesn't conform to what feminists want, instead of embracing the fact that women are equal with men and its our choice to do what we want?

OP posts:
MagentaOeuflon · 19/04/2015 15:32

Meh, by strident I mean firm, assertive, opinionated and I wasn't thinking of it as a "thing we call uppity women". I have stridently intellectual arguments with men sometimes, in which everyone is strident.

I do think the being strident (assertive, opinionated, etc) is part of what women are not socialised or expected to be and then you get the "ooh, you're scary" type reaction which is, in itself a way of trying to keep women in their box.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/04/2015 06:52

Aicm, I recognise your name as an FWR poster more than several listed.

So shouldn't you be saying "us lot"?

Hakluyt · 20/04/2015 12:48

AICM - if you're reading this, could you point out which of my posts you regard as a personal insult? Thanks.

ihatelego · 20/04/2015 16:42

i can sympathise with you op.. i don't know what to think about feminism anymore..

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 17:06

Since you ask, Buffy:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/a2287167-Who-to-vote-for-as-a-feminist#52020084

But I'm sure you'll dismiss it.

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 20/04/2015 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hakluyt · 20/04/2015 17:40

What do you think about that thread, didyou?

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 17:56

As you know very well, the regulars accused another poster, and me when I defended her, of being a man who uses prostitutes.

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 17:57

That disgusting accusation was made by regulars on the basis that we disagreed with the hive view.

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hakluyt · 20/04/2015 18:05

"That disgusting accusation was made by regulars on the basis that we disagreed with the hive view."

No. The question was asked- don't know if it was an accusation because it was deleted- because the other poster, who had already posted very provocatively, said things which indicated that they could very well have been a defender of punters. They do appear frequently on threads about sex-work. It's almost as if there's a call to arms.....

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 20/04/2015 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 18:12

Again, of course, you are quite wrong. There was no apology.

Buffy, you keep starting these threads asking for opinions. You don't want them. Why ask for them?

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 20/04/2015 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 20/04/2015 18:28

Have name changed back for a this thread.... apologies if I screw up and instead post on my new name, I won't be sock puppetting Grin

Buffy, you keep starting these threads asking for opinions. You don't want them. Why ask for them?

A) Buffy didn't actually start this thread.

B) I think you're confusing asking for opinions and having to agree with them. If the opinions given are for example, completely untrue or unfair and slightly ridiculous, then Buffy is probably pretty entitled to disagree with them and post about why she does. As are we all.

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 20/04/2015 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 20/04/2015 18:33

Good point, well made.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 20/04/2015 18:37

No.

That thread isn't asking anyone why they don't post here. It's a feminism 101/trying to find out what people would like to discuss thread.

If you'd read the OP, you'd know that.

didyouwritethe · 20/04/2015 18:38

"This isn't an attempt to educate or convert, I am starting it merely because I find it a shame that feminist women don't engage here on the feminist board because of a perception that it's unwelcoming to alternative views."

PuffinsAreFictitious · 20/04/2015 18:40

"I am interested in alternative views, though I can't promise to agree with them. I don't think this needs to be introductory - as in basic - more introductions. I'll try and think of some questions that might help get things going and shall we try not to talk about pubic hair or married names?

Some starting questions might be, um…

What issues are important to you, as a feminist?

What sort of feminist do you think you are (if you know / are even interested in flavours of feminist this quiz is an interesting one to try)

Do you think that feminists who identify as liberal, radical etc have any common ground, can the different perspectives work together? What value do you see in the different viewpoints?

If there was a feminist political party, on what do you think it should concentrate?

Those questions might be rubbish, so please ask different ones if you want to.

"

FloraFox · 20/04/2015 18:53

didyou are you still peddling lies that you were accused of being a punter? I didn't accuse you, I asked you. You are correct that I didn't apologise because I didn't and don't owe you an apology. You should apologise to me for lying about me.

FWR regulars would have to lower their standards of behaviour significantly to meet yours.

YonicScrewdriver · 20/04/2015 18:58

If someone thinks prostitution is ok, neutral, a career like any other, why is being asked if they are a punter a disgusting accusation?

I think flower arranging is ok, though I don't do it myself. I don't think someone asking me if I do is a disgusting accusation.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 20/04/2015 19:03

Are you a flower arranger Yonic?

is something that might be asked if it were relevant to the discussion

SenecaFalls · 20/04/2015 19:11

Why was Buffy deleted? I had read beyond that, and I don't remember anything delete-worthy.