I thought I was a feminist until someone showed me this forum.

[debucnik]

As in the title I was brought up to believe that feminism is about equality and choice but having recently been introduced to this forum it would appear that that is not the case. The forum gives the impression that feminism is not a choice but compliance to a set of rules.

When did feminism change to fight anyone who doesn't conform to what feminists want, instead of embracing the fact that women are equal with men and its our choice to do what we want?

Cheers still that's the one!

Op your realisation that the rather naive understanding of feminism you came in with is being challenged should be a positive. The fact is that the issues around equality and choice is complex and MN is one of multiple places to deepen your understanding and challenge preconceptions, but it is up to you you can take the blue pill or the red

What is the exact definition of a feminist?

Still, as you know, when you are asked why it is that you post, it is because you seem to be so angry with various posters here so often, not because your views are not of interest.

Buffy.

I am not going to link to the thread but there was a thread a while back where under a former user name I felt bullied. I corrected a statement of fact which was simply wrong - not opinion - just wrong and it descended in to series of "hilarious" jokes about my being obsessed.

I'm not going to name names but I have seen extremely rude responses from regulars to other posters including one to a poster who had previously started an interesting and well received thread. I won't say which thread it was as that will identify her and the regular who made the very nasty comment.

Unless she has name changed I don't think that poster has been back since the attack on her.

still, as you know, when you are asked why it is that you post, it is because you seem to be so angry with various posters here so often, not because your views are not of interest.

Why should I not get angry? I see things posted on here as incontrovertible facts ; personal experience being used as evidence if it supports the incontrovertible fact and dismissed as irrelevant because it is only personal experience if it doesn't.

I see little in the way of challenging of views going on. There's the odd troll with an agenda and the transgender threads get challenge and debate (despite being I imagine the subject with the least real life relevance )

The feminism boards are not unique all internet forum are prone to regular posts that take the piss/ come across as bullying. There are going to be people that disagree and get mean and the written word can be blunt and painful and views differ on acceptable behaviour. Looking at boards elsewhere on the web I find MN pretty fluffy (comparatively speaking!). This does not mean that bullying posts are acceptable but there is a policy to deal with that on this site. That is not the same as the op more general observation about the way feminism is communicated on the boards here.

It is difficult to comment on the examples of facts being argued against and piss taking. If I get frustrated with a thread then I step away as it is not my problem if someone on the internet is wrong (that is what I keep telling myself anyway)!

I've had the opposite experience to the OP. I felt alienated by the type of feminism I was hearing about elsewhere, that everything is about choice, lapdancing is empowering etc etc. I have found views that I strongly agree with by lurking on these boards (don't feel clever enough to post much) and I feel that I can identify as a feminist again.

And lastly as I have posted too much already. My views are challenged each tome I read through threads on mn that counter ny experience/ understanding... I may not post and I will probably not change my views but the act of reading/ digesting and absorbing new perspectives provides a 'challenge' iyswim.

I was brought up to believe that feminism is about forcing women to grow handlebar moustaches on their pubes and roam the streets in packs, hunting down men and rending them limb from limb. I'm bitterly disappointed.

Buffy I stopped posting for a while and name changed after the thread I felt I was being bullied on. You contributed to it.

To be clear you are not the regular who made the breathtakingly rude comment to the other poster who hasn't been back.

Yes we have discussed the subject of personal experience. I wasn't specifically thinking of you.

The point is some personal experience is more welcome than others. For example there is currently a poster who is a BA uniformed employee of over 20 years being told she's wrong about a factual matter of BA uniform standards.

Do you mean these two posts from scallops, Still?

16/04/2015 23:49 scallopsrgreat

"which is a requirement of all employees to follow." But that isn't true is it? It's only female staff.

16/04/2015 23:50 scallopsrgreat

I mean only female staff are required to wear lipstick.

No . I mean the posts about whether a pony tail is an acceptable hairstyle.

Oh, you mean this one post from reddaisy?

BackintheBox - the women talked on the programme about not wanting to wear a doughnut (which is used to make the big buns) and wanting to wear a ponytail instead but it wasn't procedure."

Reddaisy started the thread about the programne she saw and seemed to be reporting on what was said in the programme.It's quite possible that either the trainees in the programme were wrong or that the editing showed something other than the facts.

Don't get me wrong, I believe Backinthebox re the facts, but that's (a) really a very mild post compared to disagreements on the site as a whole and (b) comes from someone who I don't recall posting on FWR anywhere near as much as, say, yourself. I also believe that the OP of that thread is typing her recall of what was said in the programme, not being deliberately argumentative.

So, i don't see that post as evidence that all FWR regulars are out to disagree with everyone but some inner circle, for the reasons laid out in (a) and (b).

Still, is it the case that you are a feminist but struggle personally with the people who tend to frequent this board, or that you don't agree with feminism and get annoyed when your views aren't taken on board? What I'm trying to understand is the particular problem you have. If you disagree with feminism as a movement then coming on here will continually vex you. If it's particular personalities then the only solution that I've found to that problem is to either ignore those people or report them if they become aggressive.

No Yonic I mean the post about the attendants having to have buns despite the BA employee saying otherwise.

The BA employee responded along the lines of what would she know, she'd only been there 20 years.

I must miss the bullying threads- I have never seen one. I've seen lots where people disagree. Is it possible that they are the same thing?

Feminism isn't whatever you want it to be. And it's not just about choice. A choice does not become feminist because a woman makes it.

I've spoke about this briefly before, this actually is the one place where I feel feminism is spoken about in a way I really like and can embrace.

It gave me hope back when previously I'd had enough of the poisonous things I've seen from feminists.

So looks like we'll have to disagree. Would be good if you could expand more on your point though

One very important women's right is the right to have a voice. That includes the right to disagree and argue. Very important and one of the hardest things to teach young girls, you do not have to agree and be universally popular. OP, is that what you dislike about the feminism threads? It is good to talk, but harmony for harmony's sake does not help.

A choice does not become feminist because a woman makes it.

Indeed.

women now empowered by everything a woman does