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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

I thought I was a feminist until someone showed me this forum.

207 replies

debucnik · 18/04/2015 08:20

As in the title I was brought up to believe that feminism is about equality and choice but having recently been introduced to this forum it would appear that that is not the case. The forum gives the impression that feminism is not a choice but compliance to a set of rules.

When did feminism change to fight anyone who doesn't conform to what feminists want, instead of embracing the fact that women are equal with men and its our choice to do what we want?

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 18/04/2015 08:25

You are not describing a MN I recognise.
Other forums are available.

LineRunner · 18/04/2015 08:26

I don't think you are describing MN.

But then goady types never are.

CtrlAltDelicious · 18/04/2015 08:27

No a MN I recognise either. I am a proud feminist but no, I don't agree with everything I read on this board. I find many of the academic discussions on here beyond me in all honesty, but it doesn't stop me learning and thinking and getting advice.

whattheseithakasmean · 18/04/2015 08:31

There are a few quite prominent posters on the feminist section and as they all tend to back each other up it can give the impression of group think & that they own feminism on Mumsnet.

However, there are also people who will post with alternative viewpoints. I seldom come on this section, as I consider myself a feminist but I don't really mesh with the dominant mindset. However, like others, I will post my views from time to time, but I always expect to be horribly patronised - I think I was called a 'young girl' one, which was droll Grin

sashh · 18/04/2015 08:31

If you want to start a bunfight then AIBU is the place

Branleuse · 18/04/2015 08:32

feminists are all just people innit.
I consider myself strongly feminist, but i dont identify with all other feminists, and the whole radfem thing i find more alienating than inclusive, but yknow, i do see a place for that sort of extremism even if i dont identify withn it personally because without that, people don't find a middle ground

meditrina · 18/04/2015 08:34

It doesn't.

I'm shouted at in here all the time for being 'only here to knock', being an apologist for the menz etc.

There really is no one 'type' of feminist.

I have no idea why the existence of this one topic in a parenting website would lead you to believe that it was somehow representative of a (mythical) monolith (or straitjacket?) settled ideology.

It's simply the place where MNetters can, if they choose, put some chat threads. It's like putting threads about the election, politicians, public services, the economy etc in 'Politics'. They might also turn up in AIBU or chat or In The News or a topic related to the theme of a policy, like a Education.

I like it when people use the topics rather than chat/AIBU for everything. But no one topic is some kind of special place.

You can call yourself feminist or not (but if, like me you're old enough to remember what it was like before the Equal Pay Act or when you couldn't secure a mortgage without a male guarantor, you will find it mildly incredible that anyone wouldn't be).

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 18/04/2015 08:36

Feminism isn't about embracing "the fact that women are equal with men" - feminism is about recognising that women should be equal with men and are not currently. And that is not to be embraced but to be fought against.

So I'm guessing you weren't a feminist to start with.

CaptainHolt · 18/04/2015 08:42

feminism is not a choice but compliance to a set of rules

What are the rules? Not being goady. but genuinely don't have a scooby what you're on about.

I do tend to find that people who say feminism is about choice mean the choice to wear heels or make-up or be a stripper or a 'happy hooker', or the choice to get your tits on twitter to #freethenipple. It's rarely about the choice to get equal pay for equal work, or the choice not to be catcalled or sexually assaulted, or the choice to not live in a patriarchal rape culture.

meditrina · 18/04/2015 08:54

"Feminism isn't about embracing "the fact that women are equal with men" - feminism is about recognising that women should be equal with men and are not currently. And that is not to be embraced but to be fought against."

You see, I disagree with that slant. If you do not fully embrace the idea, how do you have a start point for the rest? If you do not believe in equal worth, why would you notice or care?

"So I'm guessing you weren't a feminist to start with."

Clearly, once again, me neither to some people.

But that doesn't change how I self-identify.

Oswin · 18/04/2015 08:56

See I was the opposite, I never thought of myself as a feminist until I lurked in here. Its opened my eyes.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 18/04/2015 08:58

No idea what your point is Meditrina.

StillLostAtTheStation · 18/04/2015 09:00

I agree with whattheseithakasmean I often don't agree with the concensus and will get asked why I bother posting.

I post because I like MN in general and it's interesting and occasionally very annoying and occasionally very hypocritical but I'm not interested enough in feminist theory to check out other available forums.

cailindana · 18/04/2015 09:14

Women are equal to men, as human beings. But in our society they are not treated as though they are equal to men. That's what feminism I trying to change. I'm curious about where the idea of a 'set of rules' came from and what you think the rules are?

Jackieharris · 18/04/2015 09:17

Acim I've bumped that thread now.

OP you don't seem to get that feminism was called 'women's liberation' for a reason.

The 'equality' movement is a separate offshoot.

PacificDogwood · 18/04/2015 09:19

Oh, don't feed it Hmm

sooperdooper · 18/04/2015 09:24

I'm a feminist, I don't know anything about a set of rules I'm supposed to be following and I'd rather someone identified as a feminist than got themselves tied up in semantic arguments - if you're feminist, good, if you want to learn more about how others define themselves as feminist, that's good too

I find people who pick apart others version of feminism simply patronising - don't knock someone who just might not have had the opportunity to think it through from your angle yet, it's that style that puts people off identifying as a feminist in the first place

AskBasil · 18/04/2015 09:28

LOL about being brought up to believe that feminism is about equality and choice.

I was brought up to believe it was all about hating men.

Some people were brought up to believe something else completely.

I think wider society is more insistent on "compliance to a set of rules" than this board is. And er, wider society actually has ways of enforcing compliance, this board doesn't.

Grantaire · 18/04/2015 09:35

I'm a feminist. A lot of things posted on this section I agree with. Some I don't. Pretty much the same as the rest of MN.

I was once told I was not a feminist, called a rape apologist and sent some abusive PMs because of the most ridiculous argument ever. That wasn't anything to do with MN or feminism though. That was a troll. She's been banned now...

Jackieharris · 18/04/2015 10:10

What are these 'feminist rules' you are referencing anyway?

Can you link to where they've been mentioned on a thread on here?

bigmouthstrikesagain · 18/04/2015 10:27

Op are you related the person who started a thread on what actions could disqualify you from being a feminist? Can't link as on mobile and my search etc is limited but p'haps someone else knows what I am on about.Grin

Anyways it is very easy to be provocative when you make a general point based on opinion and no actual examples.

Really if you only frame a definition of feminism within the parameters of mn then you are kind of missing the everything elseConfused so based on your sample size alone ... You are entitled to your opinion but can't say I agree with it.

StillLostAtTheStation · 18/04/2015 10:39

Might be a name change but this is OP's only post.

CuttedUpPear · 18/04/2015 10:45

embracing the fact that women are equal to men ?

On which planet exactly?