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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing

994 replies

PuffinsAreFictitious · 16/03/2015 23:08

Just starting this one as the last is nearly full

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StillLostAtTheStation · 14/04/2015 08:35

how is "wrong place wrong time" different to "she was raped because she was in the presence of a rapist"?

Because it's the same as saying well she wouldn't have been raped if she'd not walked that way home /got a taxi/ not attracted the attention of her killer.

YonicScrewdriver · 14/04/2015 08:35

Still, do you enjoy posting here? You rarely seem to get much joy out of it, TBH.

I don't know who disagreed with you on school uniform; the only FWR regular I can remember expressing a strong opinion on it hasn't posted for years and she expressed that opinion on all MN boards where pertinent. Perhaps it was her and perhaps it was more recent; it sure as heck wasn't on this thread though.

YonicScrewdriver · 14/04/2015 08:39

And yet you feel it fine to address the thread with "you" when discussing the prejudices that you assume posters here hold - but when GF discusses her experience of a certain type of shoe, you decide she isn't treating your opinion with respect.

Why is it one rule for you and one for everyone else?

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 09:11

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VampyreQueen · 14/04/2015 09:50

I don't think it's just kids shoes, to be fair. I walk an awful lot and find that I have to pay quite a bit for shoes if I don't want to be replacing them every give minutes. DP on the other hand buys shoes for a tenner, walks as much as I do and replaces them every year. Hmm

UptoapointLordCopper · 14/04/2015 09:54

These days I don't buy shoes or coats from high street fashion shops. I buy them from shops/websites called things like "waterproofcoatsRus" or "properwalkingshoesRus". Grin Result: lovely comfy and sturdy shoes and coats. And they don't even look too bad (to my eyes anyway).

GibberingFlapdoodle · 14/04/2015 12:54

"Gibbering my goodness you take everything so seriously...Surely what you said must be a fact and can't possibly be just your opinion can it?"

Read those two back together and tell me I'm the only overthinker here! Smile

INickedAName · 14/04/2015 14:29

Is it ok to offload here a little?

I posted here before about dd cutting her long hair, well she had it cut on the day they broke up for Easter, I thought it would give her time to get used to it without having all the comments at the same time etc, I bit my tongue at the hairdresser asking me if I'm sure and asking me what length after dd had told her three times before cutting it. Dd just rolled her eyes in the mirror which made me smile. She absolutely loves her hair and loves the extra half hour in bed on a morning.

Dd has had a couple of comments at school but nothing negative, the negative stuff has been directed at me and it's pissed me off, this morning a parent, who I don't really know that much, said that cutting that much hair off is a bit like butchering, she was semi light hearted and I feel bad because I told her to go home and google fgm, then come back and tell me if she still thinks a much wanted hair cut is butchering. I feel like a complete twat now, it's so unlike me, i will apologise at pick up.

It's one of a few things that's happened in the last week, (which I'm happy to mention if people don't mind listening) that has me riled and I shouldn't have took it out on her, I'm speaking out when I see unfairness and I am challenging it, almost had a blazing row at a family thing this week, but I ended up shutting up to keep the peace, I don't have the confidence to keep going, which annoys me in itself, but overall now my eyes are open I'm seeing some people who are close to me very differently. The minute I open my mouth to speak about anything women related I can see eye rolls, it seems I can have an opinion on anything I like as long as it fits with theirs, otherwise I'm causing trouble. I know it's a bad thing to say but sometimes I wish I could go back to the me from a year ago who thought everything was right with the world.

ChopperGordino · 14/04/2015 15:26

offload away! i have to nip off to a meeting now, but in the meantime this might offer some understanding of how you feel if you haven't seen it before!

Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing
PuffinsAreFictitious · 14/04/2015 16:25

Oi!

We don't have snarking in the pub, thanks. If you can't forbear from making eyerolly posts and insinuating that people have said things that they patently haven't, then I humbly suggest you take it to AIBU.

These threads are supposed to be a bit of a light hearted haven from the trollery and rubbish we often put up with from a certain type of poster. Please don't ruin this thread as well as every other.

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StillLostAtTheStation · 14/04/2015 16:58

Puffins are you a moderator?

PuffinsAreFictitious · 14/04/2015 17:03

No, dear.

Do they not have tongue in cheek things on your planet?

I realise you're incapable of backing down over anything, but please, don't ruin the pub for everyone as well as every other thread you post on, yeah? It's draining. Although, that's no doubt your reason for doing it.....

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YonicScrewdriver · 14/04/2015 17:11

Well, you are the current Peggy Mitchell of The Bluestocking, puffins....

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 17:16

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PuffinsAreFictitious · 14/04/2015 17:18

Well, that was what I was going for, (hence the OI!) but obviously what I really meant was that I was a moderator Hmm

It's a real shame, because people usually understand the purpose of the pub and respect it.

Meh

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UptoapointLordCopper · 14/04/2015 17:42

Meh indeed.

Evolutionary psychobabble, neuro-trash, good shoes bad shoes, etc etc. Enough already. Let's have a drink. What does everyone fancy? I can't decide between red and white wine. Shall I have rose? Oh hang on! I might have one last bottle of the posh tonic water left and plenty of gin. Don't fight over that now!

magimedi · 14/04/2015 17:43

This is the gin I would like, with posh tonic!

As it is £50 a bottle am not likely to be sampling it soon - I just love the name!

Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing
UptoapointLordCopper · 14/04/2015 17:45

Hah! We've only got Gordon's gin. But that looks interesting ...

PuffinsAreFictitious · 14/04/2015 17:48

I've been saving a nice bottle of Tanqueray 10 for just such an occasion.

Now someone cut up the limes, and we can have a lovely sing song.

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BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 17:49

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BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 17:49

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PuffinsAreFictitious · 14/04/2015 18:09

It's certainly one of a couple of things I am thinking of pursuing for PhD. Depends on what supervision would be available. Evo psych does make me want to jump up and down in a quite childish manner, because it's all so patently misogynist in expression and basis.

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UptoapointLordCopper · 14/04/2015 18:14

LOL Buffy You can't do a PhD to say that people like nice things said about them. Or can you?

BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 18:27

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BuffyEpistemiwhatsit · 14/04/2015 18:29

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