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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

What do men think feminists should be focusing their energies on?

552 replies

PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 21:31

It's pretty clear that there are many men with constructive criticism to offer feminists in terms of what feminist issues they should be focusing their energies, activism and outrage on.

This vital advice is at risk of being lost, spread as it is among myriad threads in this section. Perhaps it would be a good idea to collect it together into one thread, for ongoing reference when posters in this section consider their feminist activities and whether they are really focusing on the right issues.

Obviously it should be borne in mind that feminists are only able to focus strictly on one topic at a time in terms of activism and outrage, so don't overload us with too many issues at once!

OP posts:
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Magnetic1 · 08/02/2015 23:14

"Agree that men don't tend to get told bossy. Boys sometimes, men nope.

Women get called bossy all the time so actually maybe I will sign up for that campaign!"

Have you ever considered that maybe women get called bossy more because they tend to be more bossy than men? Hmm

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 23:14

Look folks can you be a bit less strident on this thread please? I am concerned it is putting off potential manly views

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 08/02/2015 23:15

Actually Sardine, what he said was pretty homophobic.

So, pathetic little man, why the homophobia?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones1984 · 08/02/2015 23:16

Sorry Magnetic - did you actually engage your brain before you wrote that? Or were you too busy thinking about why you call women 'love', but not men?

FarelyKnuts · 08/02/2015 23:16

Yes Magnetic, that must be why. Poor men. So oppressed. Bossy women standing up for themselves. Cheek of them! Hmm

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 23:16

Nope not considered that, no.

Maybe you could inform me that women get called bitches more than men because they're more likely to be bitches?

A thick twat is a thick twat though whichever way you look at it.

BTW I think you will find a "bossy" man in an office described as "assertive" "effective" or maybe having "leadership skills".

AnnieLobeseder · 08/02/2015 23:17

He's a tenacious little bugger isn't he?

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 23:17

Well it was homophobic wasn't it.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones1984 · 08/02/2015 23:18

OK Petula.

So far then, we've got feminists should concentrate on boys being able to join the Guides.

Any more things that feminists should concentrate on? We promise not to be mean (or too bossy) about them unless they're really stupid

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 23:19

So a sexist homophobe with zero empathy skills who thinks the main problem that feminists in the UK should address is that his son doesn't want girls at the scouts.

Hope you're writing this down Petula.

CaptainHolt · 08/02/2015 23:19

He's already told me on another thread that LGBT people face discrimination (unlike women) - well he would know...

SabrinaMulhollandJjones1984 · 08/02/2015 23:19

Actually, I think it was more that girls shouldn't be able to join the scouts, wasn't it?

SO, feminists, take a few steps back please.

FarelyKnuts · 08/02/2015 23:20

I'd love to have been there when your sadly delusional wife pointed you in the direction of the feminist section here.
Did you come to educate yourself or tell women they are wrong?
I wonder what her hope was?

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 23:21

i think MNHQ should sticky the thread. It's vital for our future activism

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 23:21

lol really Captain?

Bringing new information and depthy insights to threads all over the place then :D

Magnetic1 · 08/02/2015 23:21

"BTW I think you will find a "bossy" man in an office described as "assertive" "effective" or maybe having "leadership skills""

That's not true. I've had tyrant male bosses that my colleagues have referred to as bossy over the years.

Why is it homophobic to not want to mislead a gay man into thinking I'm gay too, by calling him love? He might fancy me and be disappointed b

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 23:23

But what about women who might think you fancy them because you call them love? Or do you intend something else when you call them love? How can they tell?

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 08/02/2015 23:24

Oooh, I don't think that's likely, do you?

Nahhhhhhhhh

CaptainHolt · 08/02/2015 23:25

You said you didn't want a straight man to be 'miffed' that you thought he was gay, not that you didn't want a gay man to pine away and die when he couldn't have you. You still haven't answered why you think it's fine for all women, regardless or sexual orientation, to think you are hitting on them.

FarelyKnuts · 08/02/2015 23:25

Or and here's a novel idea to wrap your head around why not just address people by name or nothing at all? Terms of endearment are for people who are "dear" to you. Can't say I'm feeling the love

Magnetic1 · 08/02/2015 23:25

"But what about women who might think you fancy them because you call them love?"

I don't think so. It's quite normal for men and women to call each other "love" in a friendly manner among working class people. Probably less common for straight men to call gay men "love" so could be misinterpreted.

Original poster
PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 23:25

No, I'm sure they understand he intends to be patronising affectionate

What he doesn't realise is that he's already called a man "love" on this forum! Shock

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 08/02/2015 23:26

Well, quite Grin

CaptainHolt · 08/02/2015 23:27

What he doesn't realise is that he's already called a man "love" on this forum!

I hope the poor chap isn't too disappointed Sad

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 08/02/2015 23:27

Magnetic has unwittingly introduced another point:

Things feminists should stop concentrating on:
Trivial bourgeois concerns that only affect the middle class feminists eg sexual assault, employment laws, maternity leave, page 3, housing, etc

What they should be concentrating on: respecting "working class" culture (note this is ALWAYS male and generally involves catcalling, bottom pinching, banter, football, Loaded magazine, affectionate endearments eg darling)