What do men think feminists should be focusing their energies on?

[PetulaGordino]

It's pretty clear that there are many men with constructive criticism to offer feminists in terms of what feminist issues they should be focusing their energies, activism and outrage on.

This vital advice is at risk of being lost, spread as it is among myriad threads in this section. Perhaps it would be a good idea to collect it together into one thread, for ongoing reference when posters in this section consider their feminist activities and whether they are really focusing on the right issues.

Obviously it should be borne in mind that feminists are only able to focus strictly on one topic at a time in terms of activism and outrage, so don't overload us with too many issues at once!

A sensible and measured post, King. I hope Magnetic is taking notes.

I have nothing to contribute presumably because i have a vagina but im enjoying the show discussion.

I need to know more about footwear though, what should a bisexual woman wear?

AKOM

Pink lacy socks, big butch Docs gin?

I am wearing knee boots and no one has called me 'love'. However I have been called 'Madam' twice. Does this say something a bit kinky about my sexuality?

Why did you start this thread Petula? Was it purely to goad any men who might be reading? Because I cannot find a single other reason for it.

This thread is a really good example of why so many MNers steer clear of this topic. Well done.

groundhog hmmm. Perhaps. I shall put pink lacy socks on my shopping list.

Lacy socks must be a bad idea. Surely they scratch?

Oh sorry, I wasn't thinking. The important thing is that they look nice.

No, StAndrews. It was in response to goady posts from a couple of new male posters, along the lines of "feminists are embarrassing themselves with the focus on trivia like No More Page 3, they should do X instead. What? No, I don't campaign on X, I'm far too busy and important to campaign on grooming and FGM, or indeed on any issues, I just want to tell others what they should do"

By the way - you will find half a dozen threads at least thrice as harsh as this in AIBU every day of the week, StAndrews - do you think they give AIBU a bad name?

Any excuse for another dig, eh ?

Whoops, are the feminists not being fluffy enough?

No Gin, actually they are not being grown up enough.

A theory of toxic femininity that allowed for a degree of female agency would be interesting.

Perhaps a bit of emphasis of making the public face of the movement appear more inclusive for women who do not conform to either traditional gender roles or feminist gender roles - there's a lot of women falling through the gaps (or being excluded with a genuinely baffling hostility).

A hell of a lot more policing of it's more radical elements would probably be beneficial too. There's an awful lot of 'unpersoning' which seems to go unchallenged.

But this is from a somewhat-aligned fellow traveller, rather than someone who actually cares about the movement, so it's entirely legitimate for my musings to be disregarded. I wouldn't have shared them if the thread had not invited me to do so.

Ooh, I feel suitably chastised.

And I have on great huge monster-feet aka slipper-sock things that come up to my mid-calf. I don't know what that says about my sexuality/place on the feminist spectrum, but I'm lovely and warm.

Oops, that was in response to the charge of not being grown-up enough.

Anything else that the Feminist Hive Mind are getting wrong StAndrews. Please do bestow your wisdom on us.

of course, The Feminists have to grown up at all times and never get pissed off with the same inadequate men spouting shit all the fucking time

no, not buying it

to be

-Humourless
-Grown up
-Focussed on specific list of important issues (as defined by men)
-Abide by complicated identification system based on shoes.

Any more? I'm never going to have time to get all the housework done at this rate, with that list.

I'm having a shit day, and this thread has really cheered me up. Thanks all.

Two points I want to make: firstly, I am secretly very proud of my habit of calling random men 'love'. I actually do this because I am absent-minded and call everyone love, but I am well aware that your average slightly misogynistic type finds it mildly irritating, but is not bright enough to put his finger on why. I urge you to try it. You'll enjoy it.

Second point: on Thursday, I overheard a group of students earnestly discussing whether or not you can recognise lesbians by their lecture style.

Sadly, it seems I do not have a lesbian lecture style: despite being short haired and talking a lot about feminism, I wear dresses and have once discussed the literary treatment of motherhood.

StAndrew can say what he likes. Like anyone cares. Na na na na na.

Is that grown-up enough?

I am eating celery for lunch. Just to throw in a un-footwear-related fact.

Make of that what you will.

Meph I work part time in a senior role, put up a mean shelf and do ironing. I have a DH who works in a caring profession, does all most of the cleaning and buying clothes for DDs. I'm not sure what any of that says about our gender roles, perhaps that we "fall through the gaps". But I have never felt anything but included and respected here, even when the things I've said have been naive or thoughtless.

Now, how do I go about "policing" the views of other women?

standrewsday i was under the impression that grown ups are allowed to get pissed off.
Women talking to men in the manner that men talk to women is obviously just not grown up enough though.