What do men think feminists should be focusing their energies on?

[PetulaGordino]

It's pretty clear that there are many men with constructive criticism to offer feminists in terms of what feminist issues they should be focusing their energies, activism and outrage on.

This vital advice is at risk of being lost, spread as it is among myriad threads in this section. Perhaps it would be a good idea to collect it together into one thread, for ongoing reference when posters in this section consider their feminist activities and whether they are really focusing on the right issues.

Obviously it should be borne in mind that feminists are only able to focus strictly on one topic at a time in terms of activism and outrage, so don't overload us with too many issues at once!

Note to self: examine footwear of passers by to ensure correct greeting is used. Steer clear of DMS more than 8 holes high.
Fantastic evening of education, time for bed.

So, should I wear my brogues to help out at Beavers (which is an all boy pack with a female leader and deputy)? Will that address the important issues of feminism?

No wonder your poor wife has sent you to Mumsnet, clearly she's had no luck getting through to you so she's hoping we can put some sense into your privileged little head.

Ooh, no, sorry, what's really happened is you've come in your shining armour to rescue all the befuddled little feminists who don't really know what we're doing, just faffing around with newspapers and bras really aren't we, aww bless our little pink hearts.

Magnetic hasn't quite got it that the page 3 topless model and the woman wearing the burka in Saudi are just opposite ends of the same spectrum.

The spectrum that makes women purely objects of men's desire - not human beings in their own right.

His wife needs to have a word if she exists

I'm a bit confused. Which shoes am I meant to be wearing to work tomorrow, to defeat the patriarchy?

None that make you look like a lesbian, possibly.

MEN'S PAGE 3. Laydeez get all the other pages with all the talk about them doing politics, economics, crimes, sports, telly and basically everything else that constitutes news. Why can't men have just one piddling page?

magnetic

I've got three children all of whom went through beavers and cubs, one did scouts, and one does explorers

All mixed sex groups

So I win on the evidence!!!

Me old mucker

petunia

I think you went a bit wrong with your OP

Try "if you really wouldn't mind....I know it's a bit silly of me but my brain is just getting so confused...but I know there are lots of really intelligent men out there on this web thingy that will be able to explain to me just where I'm going wrong with this whole feminism thing."

And you used too many words that women aren't supposed to know

Oh now I am confused

I missed the bit where i am either a lesbian or a man....well which one!!! Somebody tell me!! I'm having an identity crisis

I do have a pair of brogues though perhaps that's a clue

I think you're right rufus

I've spent too much time being strident and now I'm out of practice

I'm just sorry to have to break it to you petunia

You came over as a bit...well maybe a smidge...just a tad.. bossy

I miss this brogue thing. What are brogues? Do I have to have them or must I not have them? Can a man please tell me what to do?

Do these look like Lesbian Shoes to you? They look pretty flamboyant to me.

How the FUCK is the average sexist homophobic man supposed to know how to comport himself these days when in the company of strangers, if shoes like these are in existence???? World's gone MAD.

Sorry if someone's said this, but two related issues that I often get told are 'trivial' and 'aren't there more important things to worry about?'

• changing your name after marriage (with special reference to the threads on here where MILs send Christmas cards to 'Mr and Mrs Husband's surname')

• wanting your title to be Ms.

Depressingly, I think a lot of the posters who tell me these things are not worth worrying about are women.

Am wearing loafers today.

Watch out ladies!

Well this is hilarious

I've never considered shoes to be a barometer of sexual preference.

My docs are pink and flowery. Do they still count? Where do they fit on the scale?

Hmmm. I'm wearing fitted black knee boots, but they have quite a low heel.

I am feeling correspondingly unsure about my sexuality.

I'm wearing slippers. But in honour of this thread, I am going to go upstairs and drag my precious purple vegetarian Docs out of the cupboard (closet?) and wear them when I go into town to rage at my building society. None of them had better dare call me "love".

But back to the actual point of the thread, IME men seem to think that feminists should spend their time worrying about the women Other There, who live in actual proper sexist societies and need liberating. Cos just marching into other people's countries in the name of Liberation of the Oppressed always works like a charm. And because, you know, in comparison, you really can't call our own society even remotely sexist, so what the fuck are you complaining about, love?

As I explained, it's a term of endearment.

SO if someone doesn't like it (and trust me, the women you're talking to don't like it) it's still a term of endearment because you like saying it? Is that right?

So basically I can call you a cunt with impunity because I see it as a term of endearment and your feelings on the matter don't matter?

Excellent. You daft cunt.

I love you, FOGH.

Sorry, "Over There". Not Other There. Cos that would be silly.

I think feminism is very individual and personal. So focus on whatever you want to.
I help out with a Parkinson's charity. I know I only do this because my uncle has it. People could argue that there are more important causes but like feminism it's individual.