37 year old man here

[BlueStahli]

Hello,

I'm a 37 year old male, married, with two children--a boy and a girl.

I've always had an issue with sexism. But only recently have I been delving headlong into it. I've been researching facts and studies, talking to people, getting opinions, and voicing my own views. In the process, I stumbled across this site. So I joined. I hope to learn much here. Needless to say, I'll be spending most of my time hanging out in the feminism forum.

My reasons for being here are three-fold:

1. I want facts! I want to know how sexism and discrimination have been measured/studied scientifically and what results have been found. I want to know what kinds of government policies and human rights have been instated (or removed) and where in the world this has happened. I'm tired of anecdotal stories and questioning how biased people's claims are and I feel I'm ready to take a position on more secure grounds--but I need to build those grounds first.

2. I feel I can contribute much to feminism by offering a man's perspective. I wear my heart of my sleeve and I'm not afraid to reveal personal information. But I also feel that if I'm going to give my perspective on certain issues, I'm going to have to earn the right to do it first (so you won't get it in my first post :)). I'm confident that I can do this in a constructive/non-offensive way, and if I ever do step out of line (never advertently), I'm open to being corrected. Ultimately, I feel that if two groups are trying to settle their differences, there's no better way than to hear the perspectives on both sides.

3. I've got issues! :) I really do! Like I said, I've always had issues with sexism, and lately I've been on a self-induced "therapy kick". I've been forcing myself to "get over it". Diving into the issue with other peopleother womenis how I'm doing it. I don't think I'll ever be "cured" of my issues, but if I'm going to be stuck with them, I figure I might as well have them for the right reasons (i.e. educating myself--as in #1 above).

So that's my spiel.

So first order of business: I'd like to ask if there are any males on this forum--particularly ones that frequent the feminism forum. I'd like to ask their advice on how a man conducts himself on a forum devote to moms and feminism.

Thanks :)

I am very sorry that I assumed that you were speaking to me in the same tone and in the same derogatory way that you have spoken to other FWR regulars in the past. I won't make that mistake again.

Best I can do, I tend not to lie.

Well that's a fairly shitty apology Puffins, tbh - hiding behind a trove of nonsense. You may think you 'tend to not lie' but you do excuse yourself massively. fwiw

You do realise Pants, that Puffins doesn't have to live up to your expectations of giving you an apology that you are happy with. It is a very child-like mentality and sense of immaturity well beyond your chronological years that would insist on an apology of your standing. Why is this? Why do you have a need to make a woman live up to your expectations? Did you perceive that your mother did not love you enough as a child? Are you consciously or subconsciously trying to punish women for the love you feel you didn't get as a child? No matter how polite your posts are, they smack of a hatred of women and womenkind. You would be much better off spending your time and money on a very good psychologist to work out your issues and find out why you have such negative beliefs about women.

Just what?? Zazzles

re apology - yes it was pretty shitty, by any weasly standard. "yes I was wrong to assume it was all about me (and that's an indication of the size of my ego)" would have been fine.
The rest of your little ranting effort is so absurd it doesn't bear answering. It's the post of an idiot.

Pan, I think the point is people aren't going to apologise just because you think they should, but when they think they should. If the latter isn't happening, you're out of luck, however much you might demand it.

You might want to apologise for calling someone and idiot and being incredibly rude, but I guess the same thing applies - you'll only apologise if you think you should, whatever the rest of us might think.

take your points E re apols, though I was curious as to why Puffins thought it was fine to 'have a go' over something nothing to do with her.
'Idiot' - not a word I like to use (too much associated with people with learning difficulties/diasabilities) so that gets withdrawn, iyswim, but still a post of ignorance.

Err no Pants. If you had bothered to read any of my posts in other threads you would know that I have a huge background in psychology. I have studied a lot of psychology at university, and continue my learning in this area to this day. My specialty is diagnosing personality disorders. I have very, very accurately psycho-analysed people in real life, and am honing those skills in the online space. The fact that you called my post absurd and called me an idiot is entirely a reflection of you and not of me. When you are unable to make a woman apologise to you, do you immediately resort to name calling? That is a very low form of defense, and it makes me wonder what names you will call me after this post.

Keep on posting, its just mill for the grist.

I need that little wall meets head emoticon from pprune!

This is not going well.

And actually, I have 1 graduate degree and 1 post-graduation degree in business from an institution that is renowned for its degree of difficulty, so far, far, far from the idiot that Pants thinks I am. Rather a flawed way of thinking really.

I won't ask you for an apology Pants, as my expectations of you aren't that high.

And of course I did expect that you would totally dismiss my thoughts and what I've written because I'm just a woman, after all, aren't I. This tells me so much about you, and so again, I shall lower my expectations of you.

Zazzles - you are over-selling your expertise there, I'm afraid. Professional psycho-analysts do not behave in the way you have just now - wannabees do, perhaps. Which I suspect you are one.
But that's okay, if it gives you some comfort.

No, it isn;t going well at all, is it?
night.

Who said anything about being a professional psychologist? You are making an assumption and jumping to a conclusion. Do you usually do that? If you are unable to make logical conclusions from someone's posts, I am sure that there are professionals that would be willing to help you with that too. As a non-professional, your assertion that I should behave in a 'professional' manner simply smacks of an unreasonable expectation yet again. There is a universal truism that you would benefit by - No one has been put on earth to live up to my expectations, and I do not have to live up to others expectations. May I respectfully suggest that you start internalising, and then living this concept.

But that's okay, if it gives you some comfort.

Actually it doesn't give me comfort, its just who I am shrugs. It seems to give you more comfort to think this way though. Oh and another insult as well - ridiculous. Thanks for that, you really aren't showing yourself in a good light are you???

Oh.
Cripes
Well this is all very...

I love these curtains

I didn't say you were ridiculous - I said your post re me (and fwiw your later ones) was. Poor victim you! You seem to claim to be really bright but betray that with each post. Good luck with that.

Err, no, I know I am really bright, that's why the things you say have very little impact on me, whereas you would be much better off looking at the truth I see in you from your posts. Have some self awareness, please. I'm not the victim in all of this, and I am not portraying myself as one. Is that the way you prefer to see your women? Helpless, weak, victim and victimised? I can assure you that I am so far away from that, that you are foisting a description on me that simply doesn't fit. Why would you do that? Do you have a need to see women as weak and wanting? Do you need to have someone or a group of people you can feel you can dominate? If so, why would you feel the dominate women? We have already seen on this thread alone that you have looked for apologies from 2 different women. Why is that?

oh Zazzles, if you read the thread properly, as a bright person would, I haven;t demanded apols from 2 posters at all. I'm suspecting your a bit of a charlatan re your intelligence. Certainly reading and comprehension skills aren't best.

Zazzles, Pan didn't ask Petula to apologise, she did so and so did he.

I demand an apology from Garlicoctopus ..........her peace dust is crap.

thank you Sonic

it feels like a long w/end.

Yonic! and I demand an apol today from Halfords, for v boring reasons.

Actually it is your reading and comprehension that isn't the best. I said "looked for", you said "demanded". Please don't try to put your own flaws onto me, that is know as projection in psychological terms and again, it is not showing you in a good light. Do you usually project your own flaws onto others? Again, please look at yourself with more self-awareness. It will benefit you enormously to have a better look at yourself, your beliefs, your values, your behaviours. After all, I am sure someone famous said "A life unexamined is a life half lived". Should I conclude that your unexamined, unself-aware life is only half lived?

night Zazzles - get on with yourself - I have sleep things to do.

There is nothing to 'get over' if that's what you are writing.