Minor male entitlements

[kentishgirl]

It's not just the big things, it's the little things that are in some way more irritating to me.

Just got out of the dentist. It's a small practise and I guess the receptionist is off sick as the reception desk still had shutters down, so they were a little bit late opening up. One woman was sitting in waiting room when I arrived. A man came in a little after me.

The dentist came out and opened up the desk.

Guess who quickly jumped up and got there to be dealt with first?

oops, posted that before you're last post.

The attempts at belittling and shaming seems to be your forte Buffy - liking the 'with me so far?' stuff. Of course I absorb the wider inferences of societal experiences and how they impact on the personal - it's sort of 'given'. And I'm not entirely stupid.
But I'm not trotting off due to some 'status quo ensured' notion - it;s due to having other RL things to do. And, this is becoming a wasteful use of time.

Buffy, if your town is anything like my town, the prime customers during the day keeping the coffee shops going are parents with buggies.

And when all the babies from our NCT group were born, there wasn't enough space in our local independent, so we met at people's houses.

And when Costa opened with its vast amounts of space between tables, they had the daytime coffee and cake market sewn up. It's almost like some companies see parents with buggies as a valid target market. Shocker.

didn't say I was clever.....and yes I do come by from time to time, as you know, and read a lot. And that's because the board is a source for me, and I add sometimes. Doesn't mean it's always comfortable.
'scorecard'? Okaay.

Larry you said

"Minor (and not so minor) female entitlements:

Taking over entire coffee shops with buggies, blocking passageways and sipping one coffee over 2 hours (never seen a man do this and I used to quite regularly take two under 3 out)"

But now you're saying that you've never seen a man do this because they are all at work. So how can it be an example of women acting in an entitled way if the reason you don't see men do it is not because society has trained them to park their buggies respectfully but because men never have to bother to park buggies because daily childcare is a woman's job?

Btw I have seen many a man nurse a coffee over hours while sitting on their laptops at cafés that provide free wifi.

I was just thinking that being belittled in one way or another is a massive part of most women's everyday lives - far, far more than men's. Either you put the effort in to dispute the belittlements, or you let it go over your head. Few of us are professional feminists like Buffy, so generally we turn away, walk away, pull a wry face, anything to get rid of it quickly. We just don't have the time or emotional energy to keep bashing on about it.

One very sad aspect of this phenomenon is that, for a high proportion of women, the belittlements do sink in and undermine them. An even sadder one is that, with most such disparagements going unchecked, there's a cultural acceptance that it's okay not to take women seriously when they say things that annoy male listeners. And an annoying one is that it perpetuates the frequent dismissal of female opinions.

(namalt & nawalt)

I'll start at £5

I can offer you a Cookie and a very nice Leuchterm notebook?

Noble,

I think men and women can act in equally entitled ways. Yes, there are many rude arrogant men. But women are not immune from the same arrogance and entitlement. I don't think sex is the predominant determinant of behaviour in this area, more upbringing and wealth.

I don't think sex is the predominant determinant of behaviour in this area, more upbringing and wealth.

Well, I'd agree with you on the upbringing - males are generally brought up to feel more 'entitled' than women are. Wealth, not so much! Go to an impoverished city centre on a weekend and have a look at the 'entitlements' by gender.

Buffy.

Oh, ok. I can get you a nice pen too?

Not having to so thank you cards. They never do.

Pomme

Wealthy with poor upbringing. It is a bad combo. You can be wealthy and behave decently.

Larry, on a thread where women are talking about men expecting to take the armrests, for women to give way to them, to dominate meetings, it is then hardly equivalent to talk about how women with young children dominate coffee shops when men are at work. Men aren't being pushed out of coffee shops by women here, they're not even in the picture!

Are you teaching now? I was thinking about my new classes. I've got a Y11 group that I had in Y10 that has 9 girls and 21 boys (top set). The girls are entirely crowded out, understandably you might think. But now I've got a Y9 set where the gender split is reversed. And guess what, even though the boys are in a small minority, they are still crowding the girls out, and dominating the class. As my school is boy heavy I've not really had a girl heavy group before so it has surprised me how obvious it is.

Buffy - cooking dinner. Will get back to you shortly.