Minor male entitlements

[kentishgirl]

It's not just the big things, it's the little things that are in some way more irritating to me.

Just got out of the dentist. It's a small practise and I guess the receptionist is off sick as the reception desk still had shutters down, so they were a little bit late opening up. One woman was sitting in waiting room when I arrived. A man came in a little after me.

The dentist came out and opened up the desk.

Guess who quickly jumped up and got there to be dealt with first?

The selfish one...but to be fair, this could just have easily been the woman as the man.

This is just rude, but i don't especially view it as sexist behaviour.

In fact many men would turn to the women in the room and say "ladies first" and that might be even more insulting ...

Walking towards a man in a passageway, where one person has to give way.

They automatically assume that you will give way to them, when you dont, they look shocked.

I'm not talking about being rude, barging in to them etc. I mean if someone has to side step, or stop, that there is no 'right of way' the assumption is you'll be the one to do it.

I love playing chicken with them, the look of pure confusion and then shock when they realise that you're not going to give way.

Its fun. . . .

Haha Wellnow I thought I was the only one to do that! The only time men naturally give way to me, I find, is when I'm on the phone but otherwise they just keep expecting me to be the one to move. It's very frustrating.

I always try to walk on the left of a corridor, as per traffic in the UK. Why doesn't everyone just do this?

Spreading legs wide on the train so whoever is next to them has no room

We were expected to walk on the left of the corridor at school. I mostly still do, I think.

Being the one who talks.

My dp claims that I talk a lot ... And I do, but the truth is, he's just never encountered someone who won't just hush down and listen to him without demanding to be Heard in turn

(It was an all-girls school.)

Arm rests. Twice in two days I have had to nudge the man next to me to make the point that his elbow is not only taking up the entire arm rest but is also a good two inches into MY space. I have never seen a woman do this.

Having the air conditioning up to full blast in a shared office, to suit their wool suit and (generally) warmer body temperature.

I have to say, I don't find men expect me to side step. Perhaps I have a "I'm not moving" sort of face.

Waiting to be served in pub. The male, John-Smiths-glass-shaker or the gregarious anecdotalist who yells over, mid story, "4 more please love," are guaranteed to get served before the woman waiting quietly by the bar.

Eurgh, the leg-spreading on public transport.

Some men must just have massive bollocks and be unable to close their legs! I can't think of any other explanation why this happens

It actually happened to me on the bus this week - his legs were ridiculously spread, right into my seat, so I just kept inching sideways until he got the point.

trying to talk in dh and FIL's company. I can barely get a third of a sentence out before, whoops, there they are talking over me!

Not so minor - I had a meeting today with clients to devise a plan on a project. All parties had printed copies of my emails (with no replies) dating from May detailing options. Result of the meeting? An email from my boss detailing options, cribbed from my previous ones. Luckily, we are a small team, my boss knows full well what the score is and we both had a laugh at the bunch of cunts. And the fact that they all knew, but their tiny penises got in the way of acknowledgment. It felt like a Fast Show episode.

I can't do minor. Whenever I think of this stuff, it never is minor in the scheme of things. There are a lot of thieves of women's time, space and energy out there.

Totally agree with the armrest hoggers, who are always male - on a long flight I pray that they'll get up to go to the loo so that I get an opportunity to regain some of the territory!

And yes, could someone explain how the cloak of invisibility suddenly descends on a female at the bar when there are later-arriving males who get served pronto?

What annoys me about all this stuff is that they all go on to claim that they are so fucking chivalrous when, in reality, they use the fact that they are bigger and scarier than you to push themselves forward all the time.

Tidying up after a dinner party/dinner with friends.

Dh is usually doing a task, women always leap up to help, the many men I know never, ever do.

It being expected that men sit in the front passenger seat in the car and the woman gets in the back.

I've had this happen twice in a week:

• Waiting in a queue, get to the front, in the middle of a conversation with the person at the desk and a man comes up and interrupts and starts asking questions. Person behind desk answers him and ignores me.

The first time it was waiting to be seated in a restaurant. I had a reservation and was discussing tables with the maitre d'. He barreled in and announced he had a reservation and she took him off to seat him. Second time was at a hotel check in. The thing is they don't even notice that they are doing it. The entitlement is so innate.

Walking towards a man in a passageway, where one person has to give way.

Yep, especially if the woman is younger or considered to not be of the same social standing. I lived in Japan (for a short time, a long time ago), and it was even worse. Not only were you to move aside for the men, allow them through a doorway first, you were also expected to hold the door open for them in a 'gentlemen first' reverse-sort-of-way that happens in the West. I used to delight in beating the men to the door, and going through it first, not holding the door for them, and watching the confusion or anger on their faces.

In discussions and debates between men and women, it is usually expected that the woman will capitulate to whatever line of reasoning that the man puts forward, no matter how ridiculous or irrational their thoughts are. And if she doesn't capitulate, then she is silly', or 'wrong' or 'irrational'. Yes, I am looking at the MRA/misogynistic types that frequent FWR . Just because a woman thinks differently about a topic to you does not mean she has to change her thoughts to align with yours. She is a completely free human being, who has a will of her own. She determines her thoughts, her actions, her values, her meaning to life. Stop thinking that a man has a right to tell a woman how to think and what to do.

yes, arm rests. Whenever you get to the plane seat and a male neighbour has already hogged both the armrests, I simply spread my elbows as well. They look of confusion, even terror, on their faces is hilarious, it's like I suddenly grew another head. As of course as a woman, I should neatly fold myself and not cause them any inconvenience.

"That's an interesting point, CrotchMaven. Maybe one of the gentlemen would like to make it?"

I did quite a lot of bar work when I was younger, and I really take umbrage at the idea that bar staff always try serve men first.

In a busy bar, all customers are vying to be served, and if a man has barged to the front, the bar person is not to know that. They are busy pouring drinks, and can't be expected to notice that someone who was waiting in the second row back from the bar has had someone push past them.

Please don't blame the bar staff for serving men first - blame the man who doesn't say, "oh, this person was here first".

Good bar staff keep track of who is at the bar and may acknowledge Mr Pushy but continue with orders from those who were there first.

I do get the wide-legs on public transport a lot though, but most of them do clamp shut if I end up with my leg pressed against theirs. I have in the past rubbed my leg up and down on theirs until they move it, but given that would be hugely creepy if they did it to me I don't do it to 'just' thoughtless men. Haven't actually had a creep rub my leg purposefully in a few years though.

Try being short as well as female, virtually impossible to get served at a bar! Why don't we queue at bars? Is it because they were traditionally male dominated spaces?

When you're staying in a B&B, and they replenish the bacon in the warming pans at breakfast, the men immediately take 2 or 3 slices, though there was otherwise, clearly enough for one slice per person in the room.