Good morning.
Still working on integrating different parts of me: feeling energised and challenged by attending an industry event "as myself" (sober, and with much of my own personality intact)
Came in this morning and spoke to two men at my work about how the lifetime achievement award, in a very woman-heavy industry at mid to low/senior levels, ALWAYS (has literally never not) goes to a man.
One of them got it.
The other (the very senior one) said "yebbut, [industry] is not a sexist industry. There are a lot of women in [industry]"
I said, "yes! So isn't it interesting that they don't get recognised in awards like that?"
I watched the cogs turn. I stood there and watched him think about that. He had never, ever, questioned the discrepancy between women, all over the place, doing the work; and their lack of recognition in certain ways; and, I swear, I SAW him attempting to rationalise it - I SAW him trying to come up with the snappy reason about why it's actually for some very logical reason.
Fascinating, watching the privileged mind in action; watching someone think about something they have NEVER thought about before, and their instinct being to go for it being, somehow, all ok and fair really.
Also interesting how worried and anxious I feel now about how I made him do that, and what effect this will have on his attitude to me.