Feminist Pub X: Regulars and new faces welcome, consciousness raising is a possibility.

[CaptChaos]

The old pub now has less than 10 posts to go, so I thought I'd start a new one. The old one can be found here

This is a place for feminist pom pom waving and talking about stuff which might not need a thread for itself.

Fill your boots.

chaos

I'd personally like to be thinner but finding this weight I am at now nice because I don't attract comments about how fucking huge I am anymore but I am still big enough to be completely unfuckable so don't get those kind of comments either.

Surprisingly happy medium

Nodding along with the no-clothes-that-fit, Capt.

I'm not sure it's the correct etiquette to say this, because it will look like I'm telling Buffy off, but the one thing that pisses me off more than any abuse anyone's ever given me about my weight is when people say, "You're not fat!" Because while for some people that comment may be true, for me it's a lie. I'm huge too; I'm five foot nine and over fifteen stone. Anyone who says I'm not fat is calling me a blind idiot. This rant is partly inspired by a former friend who used to complain that she was fat, and when I asked what that made me, she said I was thin - at the time I was fourteen stone to her seven.

Chaos

I've wanted to be thinner my whole life - and the thing is I'm not actually fat - just not Kate Moss, or Elle McPherson. I'm fatter than I used to be - I was very slim before having children. But 3 dc has taken it's toll.

I have never been happy with my weight. Even when I very slim, I wanted to be thinner. I'm always on diets. I always feel guilty about eating food. It's socialised into women to find fault with their bodies. It's like my brain has been pre-programmed.

I have no clothes that fit and am currently outside healthy BMI. Baby weight. Sigh. I need to crack on and lose it, or buy more jeans. One or the other. Two fitting pairs is unrealistic with small children. Every morning is a panic.

On another note, I started arguing with a surprisingly dogmatic poster on something baby related before realising it was Buffy's friend from the blacking up thread.

To be fair Buffy said Chaos wasn't huge not that she wasn't over weight, which is true IMO. But then it is all a bit subjective, as from your description you are the same size as me and I don't think I am huge . I used to be loads bigger and did consider myself huge before though.

Thinking about it I guess I really do rank myself on the comments I get [(

Since losing weight and being the size I am now, I've moved in to invisible status which is why I don't consider myself "huge" although I'm obviously obese.

Fucking horrible we give other people that kind of head space

I know you meant it nicely, Buffy, I was more worried you'd think I was implying you hadn't, if you see what I mean. Hard to get tone across well on here.

It's just a conversation that's been played out so many times.
"I'm so fat."
"No you're not!"
And it's unhelpful, because it denies the fat person's ability to accurately describe themself, and also because it's supposed to reassure. People reassuring me that I wasn't fat never helped me. People saying "Yep, you are. So what?" was far more helpful.

Thank you all. And Buffy I would love it if you were right, and thanks for the kind words. Fuckoff, if it helps, I was in awe of how effortlessly cool you looked in what you were wearing when we met!

Petula, that person is so not worth anyone's effort!

Ooh, what was fuckoff wearing?

I moonlight on style on beauty every so often

Ooooh! No! They are very scary over there.

I can't remember exactly what she was wearing, but I remember thinking how well she carried it.

I go to Style and Beauty when I want a winter coat or boots. Otherwise I go to recipes and tell people how to bake bread, even people who know better.

I see what you did there!

Thanks capt

sabrinna probably similar to what Chaos was wearing... but I have found strapping an incredibly cute baby to one's chest tends to distract from what you are actually wearing.

I was in awe of chaos' sporting achievements though. Regular old FWR love fest! Thinking about it I wish I had got a pic of us all hmmmm next time.

You're welcome. And the baby is, as you say, incredibly cute.

I had people telling me I'm not fat at work today. We were talking about exercise and I said that running wouldn't interest me right now because there's nowhere that I could run without lots of people seeing me. They asked why that would matter, and it probably shouldn't, but I don't want people to see me running along as a big, fat, sweaty mess. They were shocked that that's how I see myself, and to be fair I don't see myself like that in any area other than exercise, but i am definitely overweight, obese technically, so telling me I'm not fat is essentially lying.

I wish I'd been at the meet-up. I want to meet cute babies

Babies. >

Other people's ones are OK, I suppose.

I've had the same and I think dragon when people think "fat" they have an idea in their head. And that idea is not someone they are friends with iyswim? Not explaining myself well. I think they really don't see you as fat because fat is a horrible negative thing to them and you're just their friend?

Aw copper, my little Nigel is lovely

Ugh, tenacious punter is not only tenacious, but boring. Why do they never come up with anything new? I can almost predict what they will say next.

Babies cry.

Or are you telling me NABALT?

I did see a very cute toddler today trying and failing to do cartwheels.

capt shall we put together a list of punterposts and we can just stick it on any future prostitution-related threads to save them time?