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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

maninism/mens rights!!

310 replies

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 00:12

why are good loving fathers not given equal rights, why are we forced to spend thousands and go through lengthy court battles for the right to be a father to our own children all because the mother is so selfish and self centered that she can decide to do this with no regard for her childs happiness and future well-being just because she can out of spite and nastiness towards her ex partner. Many thousands of men have not been allowed to see or speak to their children for weeks or years and many simply cannot afford to continue their legal pursuit and are forced to give up for this exact reason. And yet these women have the audacity to call them themselves mothers, its laughable they are barely human beings.
Fathers are EQUALY important as mothers yet the law and some women's attitudes do not seem to reflect this. I know of a man who did everything he could to be part of his childs life, paid 36,000 in csa payments and was forced to have little contact with that child,then 10 years after she was born, rumours came out that that child wasnt his, a dna test confirmed this! Her motive? GREED, it is an all to common story, so many "mums" do not even consider how keeping their childs father out of their lives affects them in the the short and long term without even mentioning its moraly wrong. Any mum who takes there children away from there dad. doesn't deserve the bloody title! OUR children is the only way you can hurt us, which is why you use them as weapons and pawns in your sick twisted games, so how about you grow up realise life is too short, and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN! you may have your children now when they are young but i promise you you'll lose them when they learn the truth they will NEVER forgive you for destroying their special relationship with their dad and ensuring they had a s**t childhood, and let that be on your conscience,not that you have one or a soul or a heart or brain.
So stop punishing your children let their dads have access to them as much as you do, that is called EQUALITY.
this rant is aimed at all the dead beat"mums", i realise and recognise that the majority of mums are amazing and do the right thing by their kids by letting their father play a prominent role in their lives, as it should be. And obviously not all dads are worthy of that title either but i'm not talking about them i have as much respect for them as i do for these women that my comments are directed at.
Il be here waiting for your comments i felt it necessary to voice these facts in the lion's den so to speak, we need to be heard, fathers NEED equal rights.

OP posts:
SigmundFraude · 21/10/2012 14:59

Of course children should be entitled to a relationship with both of their children. The courts treat men more harshly, which is an issue that needs addressing quickly.

As to your own situation jiveturkey, I can understand why you're angry, going on the few details that you've provided. Getting angry on this forum won't help you though. Have you read any sites predominantly aimed at men in your situation? Can they offer you any help? I'm not sure exactly what you want on here. If it's for people to wake up to the unfairness in family courts, well a fair few of us already are.

amillionyears · 21/10/2012 15:00

jiveturkey,you have not raised the issue well.
Does that bother you?

seeker · 21/10/2012 15:01

So what do you want people to say?

LordLurkin · 21/10/2012 15:01

JT there are a few people here who could probably give you some very good advice if you approached in a calm manner. All the swearing and ranting is not helping at all. I have very little idea of what half of your posts even said as they all got deleted, so any useful content has been lost along with the tirafdes of abuse.

I can say from experience that this place is not so much a of a lions den. I have asked for help and advice on here and despite being a man got all the help I needed and some good advice.

I feel for you with the problems you are having and hope you get all the help and support you need. But you must calm down, you are a father and that comes with responsibilities even when your child is not present. Not to mention that when this goes to court your very character and mannerisms will be put under the spotlight. If you want to talk to me privately feel free to message me on here, but you are not going to get anything out of this forum by ranting.

Good luck.

amillionyears · 21/10/2012 15:01

Is this post really about you,..or the issue?

If you have to pick one,which one?

SigmundFraude · 21/10/2012 15:04

*Of course children should be entitled to a relationship with both of their parents.

Pumpster · 21/10/2012 15:05

What do you want us to say? I believe that the child needs to be at the centre of every decision making process. That the family courts should be transparent and fair to all involved.

amillionyears · 21/10/2012 15:05

Either choose yourself complete with anger,and the "abuse straight back at you x10"

Or the issue,posted in a calm manner.

seeker · 21/10/2012 15:07

"*Of course children should be entitled to a relationship with both of their parents."

Well, they should be entitled to that, but it's not always possible nor desirable, sadly, in real life.

AbigailAdams · 21/10/2012 15:08

OP you keep saying if we behave better then you will. That really isn't taking responsibility for your own actions. People on here have reacted to your behaviour not the other way round. Really if you genuinely want advice you should be changing advice.

Respect should be a given not earned. We shouldn't have to give respect to you before you give it to us. That shows a level of narcissism and certainly disrespect towards women. That OP certainly wasn't respectful towards us. We actually haven't done anything to you

AbigailAdams · 21/10/2012 15:12

Sorry pressed soon too early. The end of the first paragraph should say "changing your attitude."

The end of the second paragraph should say:
We actually haven't done anything to you or created the situation you are in. We are not to blame yet seem to be perceiving we are in some way?

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 21/10/2012 15:13

I certainly don't want to discuss the 'issue' with an aggressive, petulant child.

I have reported the thread - I don't think this thread is at all helpful to the OP or anyone else on here. If we don't say soothing words we are apparently 'fukctards' or cunts. I think the OP needs to grow up and go elsewhere.

OliviaMumsnet · 21/10/2012 15:14

Hello all,
just thought I'd post a quick sunday afternoon reminder link to our talk guidelines
Thanks

OliviaMumsnet · 21/10/2012 15:15

And as for earfuls of abuse, btw, we don't allow those. Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier
Thanks so much

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 15:28

lordlurkin i have tried to have a constructive debate with these people but they only seem interested in what they want to hear, i have explained several times what im trying to discuss here only to be personally attacked and the real subject completely avoided.
there have been a few intelligent people on here that have addressed to issue in a way that i intended it to be, and they have drawn from their own life experiences and recognise this is a big problem and something must be done, the rest of these people are so hung up and blinded by hating men because their all arseholes that it seems they wont even admit the issue exists, its quite sad we couldn't talk about this like human being and due to some of the disgraceful sexist remarks i received yes i did tell them whats what showed no mercy frankly because they deserved it and as i have received no apologies i shall give none.

OP posts:
jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 15:31

no no re read the posts it is i who has been responding to your abuse.

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 21/10/2012 15:33

Look, pal, you started it. You showed up on the feminist forum screaming and shouting about how women are all greedy selfish bitches. It didn't make you look good. You were called on it, and you screamed and shouted some more about how women ought to 'respect' you.

Here's a clue: men who hate women and think that women should 'respect' men as their lords and masters are the sort of men who shouldn't be allowed unsupervised access to their kids. There is a fairly good way to make sure that you maintain a civil relationship with your children's mother and get to be a part of your children's lives. It's called 'Don't be a dick.' Why not try it.

seeker · 21/10/2012 15:38

" yes i did tell them whats what showed no mercy frankly because they deserved it and as i have received no apologies i shall give none."

Oooh, you are masterful!

I still don't know exactly what you want people to say- even thought you have told us "what's what"!

IWipeArses · 21/10/2012 15:39

What's what?

meddie · 21/10/2012 15:40

JT I think you went about this the wrong way. Firstly this is a forum for feminism in which women discuss that topic and would more than likely be on your side regarding the issue of children and equal parental rights.
Your ranting about 'bitches' etc I imagine has immediately put a few backs up.
I think most women here would agree with your premise that a fathers input is important to a child. But by screaming and ranting at those that are more likely to support your belief, you have achieved only to alienate them from you.
Any poster that dared to respond in a questioning manner was immediately abused and you then describe yourself as being attacked and having to fight your corner? Why do you feel attacked when someone does not give the response you desire.?
I have read this thread with interest and see some reasonable questions asked of you, which you followed by flying off the handle and becoming abusive.
I cannot comment on yours and your ex's relationship as there is not enough information to do so. Or whether she is valid in preventing you access, as I don't know you as a person or whether your presence around the child would be beneficial or detrimental.Unfortunately the image you have presented here is quite a negative one, of someone who is defensive, hostile and aggressive when his views are challenged.
Lastly why do you feel this is a feminist issue? I believe its more to do with our legal system and societies current held belief that a woman is the primary caregiver.
All I can suggest is you get legal advice about your situation, keep your cool, especially with your EX (as this can be used against you in any court hearings) and do whatever you can to comply with any court orders. In the end if you do get access, she still may choose to make it difficult to achieve.

seeker · 21/10/2012 15:41

I think it means that one of the lords of creation has shown us the error of our ways.........

amillionyears · 21/10/2012 15:41

I give up on you. I havent got 20 years to get you to understand what is wrong with this thread.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 21/10/2012 15:41

we'll never know what "what's what" is, since most of his posts are deleted Grin

colditz · 21/10/2012 15:42

1 what did your ex do, specifically, that meant she was endangering the baby's health. Was the weather particularly hot or cold on the day you rowed and she ran away? What month was it, and what wasbthebweather doing, and did the police call the social services, as they are legally bound to do in cases of child endangerment or neglect?

2 what do you do in real life to manage your anger? If this is how you react in real life, this is your answer as to why your gf took your baby and ran away. You are aggressive, intimidating, and you use foul language and threatening tones. Do you do this in real life? If not, what do you do instead.

3 what have you done in order to seek access to your son, and what have the courts told you to do?

jiveturkey · 21/10/2012 15:43

did i say they are ALL greedy? NO. try reading my op all the way to the bottom.
and what century or country do you live in exactly " women should 'respect' men as their lords and masters" but either way yes i agree with you human beings should be treated like human beings we should all be equal and in this day and age i really dont understand why we are not, women are just as bad as men you are being sexist by generalising i could say "dont be a bitch" why not try it, its just pathetic. but you almost had something constructive to say keep trying you'll get ghere in the end

OP posts:
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