Dear rape apologists and whiners: I've done all the Bad Things. Repeatedly. It's never thevictim's fault.

[solidgoldbrass]

I haven't been raped.This is because lots of men are not rapists, and don't immediately rape women who are drunk, wearing short skirts or out after dark without an owner. If you think that any of the above things, or being asleep in a bed near a man, or even having some willing sexual activity with a man and then saying actually no, stop, means it's OK for the man to just go ahead and fuck till he spunks...Would your son do that? Your husband, your best mate, your brother? Do you really think that all the men you know are potential rapists?

Gin, of course that's rape.

Because, like people have said, youcant prevent rape in some scenarios... But it's important that girls are shown they can in other scenarios.

You're not going after me, don't worry. I have actually experienced this so I feel I have a valid viewpoint.

Did the last thread finish or something? Really must stop opening these threads
Without hopefully too much of a feeling of deja vu, can i just object to the idea that the only reason people haven't been raped is because they haven't met a rapist. I have met people who were quite keen on raping me, so keen in fact that they nearly almost did. However I kicked their asses. That is partly good luck to be honest but also partly due to me. Yay for me and my violent tendencies, good reading of a situation, and martial arts skills.
Also the fact that I was not pissed at the time was extremely helpful.
I add a big disclaimer here that I would like everyone to read before posting:
Martial arts skills will not always save you - my point is that they can sometimes.
If you have been raped, I am 100 percent not saying it was your fault in any way at all
I am referring here to several incidents that have happened to me and not to anyone else's situations

I would however like to say that imo meeting a rapist does not necessarily mean you will be raped and it is rather simplistic and fatalistic to say so
I realise that wasn't the main point of the thread apologies

Did the last thread finish or something? Really must stop opening these threads
Without hopefully too much of a feeling of deja vu, can i just object to the idea that the only reason people haven't been raped is because they haven't met a rapist. I have met people who were quite keen on raping me, so keen in fact that they nearly almost did. However I kicked their asses. That is partly good luck to be honest but also partly due to me. Yay for me and my violent tendencies, good reading of a situation, and martial arts skills.
Also the fact that I was not pissed at the time was extremely helpful.
I add a big disclaimer here that I would like everyone to read before posting:
Martial arts skills will not always save you - my point is that they can sometimes.
If you have been raped, I am 100 percent not saying it was your fault in any way at all
I am referring here to several incidents that have happened to me and not to anyone else's situations

I would however like to say that imo meeting a rapist does not necessarily mean you will be raped and it is rather simplistic and fatalistic to say so
I realise that wasn't the main point of the thread apologies

Have to say I see where mercibucket is comin from with the fatalistic stance. Not in all cases but in some and women should be aware it's a possibility and try to protect themselves. I someone hasnt protected themselves and been raped... This is in no way their fault or responsibility.

i don't know that they can prevent rape in some cases; that seems a real inversion of who holds the power in that dynamic

but fine, let's imagine that's true

does it strike anyone else as weird that the message we send girls and women seems to be 'let's focus on the extremely unlikely event which will most probably not occur and never speak, or speak dismissively of, the scenario which is far far more likely to occur

i might feel different if the drunk bikini worrying took place in a context where everyone acknowleged that actually, your friends or partners or neighbours were far more likely to rape you, and everyone was really angry and motivated to stop them doing it and generally getting away with it

we do not have this context

It didn't take long for the new feminist section to become a haven for rape apologia just like the rest of the world, did it.

Just imagine my surprise. Go on, imagine it.

i know 34542356 people are killed in car accidents yearly but please can we get back to discussing catamaran atrocities?

Why the focus on a super rare event in preference to a really depressingly common one?

Ok, so what do you think would stop rape in this country?

I had masses of common sense and none of it stopped me from being raped.

Because the man who raped me, didn't realise that my common sense was supposed to stop him doing that

I said in some scenarios.... There's no rape apologists on this thread... I have been raped myself... How do you propose rape can be eradicated?

Again.

I have done all of the 'risky behaviours' and never been raped because I wasn't in the presence of a rapist.

The end.

There's nothing left to say really. I could be walking home wearing a full length burka on a Monday at midday. If I met a rapist I might be raped.

It ain't rocket science.

I think if all men decided that they would only ever have sex with women who wanted to have sex with them, that would stop rape.

Actually Merci I do think it's worth mentioning that it's sometimes possible to kick a rapist in the nuts or scare him off by making enough noise. And I do also think that more women should learn martial arts; I think they are good for mind and body.

But that doesn't mean martial arts skills will always work; they won't do any good against a gun, for instance. And in the more common types of rape ie by a friend, relative or current or former partner, a woman is likely to be reluctant to use physical violence against this Nice Man WHo Couldn't Possibly Be A Rapist, even when he's raping her, because women are still socialised to please and obey men.

What is the super-rare event? Fighting off a rapist? Well, it's hardly going to become more common if women go round telling each other rape is inevitable if you happen to meet a rapist is it? Or is that the feminist approach these days? Not back in my day it wasn't!

I do actually see what you are saying,chibi, and agree with you, but I just can't agree with statements made by other posters (that I've seen before on here so I worry it is some kind of new mantra) that the only reason a woman has not been raped is because she hasn't met a rapist yet.

Stop asking women how to eradicate rape. We can't. Only men can do that'

It is rape apology to say or imply that any other variable than the presence of a rapist, is an important factor in rape. Just so you know. Basic feminism, that.

Are you asking me?

a cultural shift.

it would include:
reform to the way in which rape complaints are investigated, prosecuted and sentenced
education starting from early childhood aimed at boys (and no more crap aimed at girls as that reinforces the general feeling that it is girls' job to prevent their own rapes)
any sort of sexual assaults in schools commited by pupils clamped down on mercilessly
rape jokes unacceptable on tv or any sort of mainstream enterainment, much as racist slurs (mostly) are
cultural products which show women as gatekeepers for sex, or sex as something done by men to women, or something men are owed stop getting made, just as somehow (generally) cultural products that reinforce racist stereotypes don't get made anymore, and where one sneaks through people notice and get angry and vocal about it

this would be a great start, and would make a much bigger difference than warning women not to get in unlicenced minicabs whilst drunk and sporting a thong would

Is it that they are socialised to please and obey men or is it that they can't believe what is happening and just want to ignore because believing it is extremely painful?

Er. I haven't been raped because I haven't met a rapist. That's the truth FFS.

Bloodly hell FastidiaBlueberry only just noticed this is in womens rights

Why don't you go and ask men how to stop rapes?

Yes and my idea of preventing rape is trying not be be around rapists?

Thanks for not biting my head off sgb! I really must hide this now, is always a bit upsetting, just wanted to make my minor point

Thanks for not biting my head off sgb! I really must hide this now, is always a bit upsetting, just wanted to make my minor point