Tulisa - wonderful role model

[Lottapianos]

Tulisa is feminism's new hero

I think she's been incredibly brave this week. I can only imagine how mortifying and sickening it must be to think that someone you trusted has put intimate footage of you into the public domain. Full credit to her for refusing to be shamed by this. It's probably too much to hope that he's the one feeling ashamed, but he flipping well should be

I'm struggling with sexualised violence violation of privacy or something along those lines sound more realistic.

I don't like to victim and I'm not doing but I Think generally avoiding having a video taken just because in the worst situation victims have no legal comeback really.

On paris, are you sure she didnt consent I saw the vid years ago she was definatelly 'playing up for the camera' ?

Oh dear, it's so predictable - what about the menz?, how do you know she's not lying?, must be a publicity stunt, definitely not sexualised violence, to even say so is offensive to real victims............

People still just fall over themselves to find reasons to disbelieve a woman who says she has been the victim of something a man has done. As others have said, I too believe her. Of course there are wider issues about the normalisation of filiming sex acts, and Mordecai's story is really chilling in that the young man seemed to have no idea that he had done anything wrong (thank you for sharing Mordecai). But for today, whether it's a set-up or not, I feel that Tulisa has sent a very valuable message to other women - having sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Agreeing to be filmed is possibly naive, but you don't deserve to be punished and humiliated for that. Leaking sex tapes is shameful, cowardly behaviour and is not something that you should just sit back and accept. That's all good stuff as far as I'm concerned.

what about the menz?

Do men generally use sex tapes as a publicity device? Im not sure, I can remember some examples where the woman was the more famous person of the two, but not really men?

I really dont think that Tulisa is sending anyone a valauble message here. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of? sure
but another interpretation is - got a single coming out? Then make a sex tape, which ties in with the theme of your song and the content of the video, release it on the internet, usual bit of denial and bluster, you tube video for more publicity, bobs your uncle.

Colin Farrell had a sex tape leaked a few years ago. I think the main public response was along the lines of 'whoa, good for you son!' People still have very different ideas about what is appropriate behaviour for men and women. The old 'he's a stud, she's a slut' thinking is alive and well.

To all of you who think Tulisa may have leaked this herself as a publicity stunt because the timing seems convenient - could it not have been leaked by her ex at this time to cause her maximum humiliation at a time when her profile is higher than ever? To 'put her in her place' at a time when her career is doing well?

Very good point Lotta.

What good publicity does a young woman get out of being filmed giving oral sex?

Has anyone accused Tulisa of being a slut? I haven't seen that anywhere.

Colin Farrell got a lot of support over that invasion of privacy and it had nowhere near the nasty remarks that Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson's tapes had.

In terms of obvious misogyny, the different reactions that Pamela Anderdon and Tommy Lee got to their sex tape is noteworthy. She's a slut and he's a rock god. And, that's ignoring the issue of domestic violence in the relationship.

Agnes, very good point about Pamela Anderson, I had forgotten about her.

It has kept her in the papers which in that world is job done.

I just think it shows how normalized people think porn is. That video ing each other us part of a relationship and sex has to be all erotic like on the tv.

Sex can be about fun or about caring for each other, but it isn't about creating a picture perfect moment for you iPhone

I havent seen anyone call her a slut either, I just dont think shes achieving anything particularly its not the 1950's anymore, societies changed if you're stil a virgin at 16 you're practically a nun and theres something wrong with you.

I dont think anybody thinks theres anything wrong with being SA so I dont see why she is a role model??

I watched her video today about this and she comes across very well although she's obviously hurt by it. If she helps other girls and young women who've been abused like this all to the good.

"I havent seen anyone call her a slut either"

not read any newsboards, comments on youtube, comments under stories in yahoo news, etc then??? i've seen it at least a dozen times and i don't really use any of those sites that often!

I dont believe its a publicity stunt at all.

I think it was shortsighted of her to be filmed like that but she was/is young and mistakes are made.

I think her ex is a slimeball.

It must be horrendous for her and im glad she made that response video. the only stance to take is to hold her head up and not be shamed by this.

Given her fan bases age group, I hope its a lesson for youngsters about who you have sex withand the whole issue of being filmed/taking intimate pics.

I think it was shortsighted of her to be filmed like that but she was/is young and mistakes are made.

I agree. How must she feel to know that millions of people are watching her slapping herself around the face with a purple willy??

It is very likely she knew about this. It has not done her any harm as she launches a solo career without N Dubz.

She might have made a mistake but her scumbag ex boyfriend made a choice. It's good she's naming names and putting the responbility for this where it belongs.

Agree with Nyac. Maybe she was naive, but why does she deserve to be publicly humiliated for it????

the problem is that none of us know the full story behind the scenes. Only Tulisa and MC Ultra know the truth and at least one of them is lying...

You sound almost glad at her humiliation KarmaK.

any person who makes a film of themselves in this ever so global world is a stupid fuck monkey.

but who hasn't been a stupid fuck monkey - maybe not on a global scale, but that is only due to the fact htat iw as born in the 70's and global fuck monkeyness wasn't an issue - nowadays....sheesh - i hate to think what could have made it to you tube with me in an unwitting starring role!

that includes tulisa

that she tried to hide away and pretend it wasn't her after said fuck monkey ness.

i think iwould too tbh - but that shit aint flyin' T'lis we all knew it was you

so she did the next best thing

she said

sure i gave a bloke a blowy

and the bloke involved is this shithead fuckwank [cue photo] if you are going to judge /./..judge us both

which it hought was fair enough

and i don't follow popular culture very much as it happens, but tulisa [custy waves hands up an down in semi wanna be cool way] props to you t'lisa for reminding people that there are two people to judge here

so i think your both stupid

but thanks for reminding me to think that ...seriously i aint kidding - cos the reaction is always against the 'whorebag' woman - well fuck that shit

She didn't make a film of herself by the sounds of it. A film was made of her.

The guy is saying that people need to hear both sides of the story, and that silence is a sign of integrity (since when?) which are two contradictory statements. It sounds like he's working to get his story straight.

You sound almost glad at her humiliation KarmaK.

not glad just indifferent. I had very little respect for Tulisa before this sex tape scandal and I have the same lack of respect for her after the event. I see her as a vaguely irritating woman with very little talent. I don't actively dislike her, but I certainly have never seen her as a role model.

I don't actively dislike her

You do a very good impression of someone who does then.

Why does it matter so much to you whether I like her or not? I've already said that I have no respect for Tulisa and I am of course allowed to feel that way.