Vile vile Ann Summers product

[Dillytante]

Apologies if there has already been a thread on this.

Bj strap

I actually don't know what to say about this.

---

This thread is years old and inactive. If you've found this page in search of Ann Summers products that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best Ann Summers sex toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

Twenty six posts left to make a moral and feminist appraisal of the kind of men who do these things. Is there enough time?

The whole bonobo thing is a bit of a mess, really. Some of the key observations were socially mediated; and some of the sociobiological interpretations are fucking unbelievable.

But they are fascinating. Our closest surviving genetic relatives, too.

That's a no then.

Is nobody bothered by men who like to choke women with their penises. We're in the feminist section. Someone should be.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexual_behaviour#Oral_sex

MrsArchie it's says so on there

Can't say I've witnessed it in real life mind, nor desire too!

Nyac, you might need a whole new thread. I don't think you'll resolve it in 20 posts.

I would say gagging women during oral sex is a consequence of anger towards women, porn and an enjoyment of feeling dominant over women in particular but probably more generally that can be extended to other groups that the person perceives as other.

Actually I think your right seahorses... Expect the desire to have a fetish was natural? Just it happened to latch on to a shoe? The fetish manifested it's self through a shoe. If not a shoe then maybe a hat.

Or did the shoe create the fetish? Chickens and eggs!

I think I will start a new thread.

What I'm surprised about is that most of the posts on this thread have studiously ignored the men who do these things.

It's really worrying.

Sorry, I'll stop talking about animals (though it was to show how 'nature' doesn't exist outside of our cultural onservations of it.)

The Ann Summers BJ strap is degrading to women especially the advertsing which pretends that there's something in it for them - a nice hair-do whilst at same time having a submissive, soft and sexy gagging.

The man is portrayed as a bit player in the scenario where he is actually the one performing the acts.

To un-niche this into the mainstream is wrong.

That is my summing up view.

It is a man who is holding on to this product and forcing his penis in a woman's mouth after all. It's weird how that hasn't really been examined.

Nyac I just have never met a man who does like this, and only a man who does like it could really tell us why surerly?

That is generally the nature of BDSM discussions on here. It always ends up being about why somebody wants to submit, and is never about why somebody wants to dominate or involve themselves in carrying out bodily punishing acts on somebody else.

Feminists tell us all about these men Starwisher.

Men like this are misogynists and they enjoy inflicting harm on women.

There's no excuse for gagging a woman with your penis. None.

True enough SeaHouses. It's as if the sadist (someone who gets off on hurting and dominating someone else) doesn't really exist.

I think because Ann Summers market so much directly to women, that why a woman would buy it/use it has been a focus.

You are right Nyac that asking why a man would use it has been peripheral.

Where do these men's desires to choke women or simulate choking women originate?

I will talk about animals as we are possibly having a new thread about men's actions anyway.

The fact that animals do something doesn't make it natural/innate. Some animals have culture of their own, without human involvement. So we are sometimes culturally observing their cultural, not innate behaviour.

How could a woman actually know though Nyac? Seeing as they don't like this.

I wouldn't like a man telling me why I do or like things.

Who could trust a man who orgasms from doing something like this?

Assumption that its the man who is getting off on this. I should introduce you to a friend of mine who is obsessed by giving head. She loves it. Including gagging. I find it weird, but its what really gets her off. I know she has had to beg her boyfriends before to let her do it and they have been slightly uncomfortable with certain aspects of her behaviour. She loves everything about it though. Far from being in the control of her man, its quite the opposite as she feels like he's helpless and vulnerable to her.

Someone said that why should we assume that willies up the fanny is the natural default and that outside a social construct perhaps we would do something else. So why not getting off like this?

I'm sorry, but I know that you'll insist that she's a victim of the conspiracy, but frankly, a lot of us think thats a bollocks excuse to take away responsibility from women for being in control of their lives anyway. In this particular case I view the patriarchal conspiracy, a way of trying to control women's freedom of sexual expression by trying to suggest that her desires are not her own. Its patronising at best. At worst, its controlling women as much, if not more, than any notion that they are imposed on her in some way by a man.

I think the biggest problem with this thread is its split between people who are utterly obsessed with the notion that this is about a man's desires or the fact that its about somehow pleasing their man and those that really just don't believe that either from their own experiences and desires or those of people close to them.

To be honest, I think the way that some people on here have been so dismissive of idea that it could possibly be a women that wants to do this without any coercion or persuasion from her partner, in itself speaks volumes. The idea that a woman could possibly make that decision by herself is outrageous and beyond the limit of their thinking. Who really is the victim of the 'patriarchal conspiracy' then? Is it the woman who is getting off on what she likes, or is it the feminist critic who makes the assumption that she is incapable of that decision because we are all slaves to men?

Perhaps all this conspiracy malarky is actually trapping your thinking and keeping you a prisoner of it, rather than freeing you?

Anyway, any debate on this any further is rather pointless due to the fact that those that believe in it, are completely obsessed by it, and don't understand why the 'patriarchy conspiracy' as an idea that taints everything to its very core is as destructive as any reality imposed on us by society. And the argument used against my point of view is that I must be a victim of the conspiracy too, which its ultimately is pretty damn ironic.

And there endth the debate and there starts the entrenchment of battle lines.

I said many times though upthread that one of my main objections to this object was that the woman (with the nice hair) has become part of the sex toy.

She is dehumanised.

Like a doll.

Yet that was the only animal into shoes so what part of their sub culture was inflicting them? Not other animals and certainly not the media

"Assumption that its the man who is getting off on this."

What exactly do you think causes an erection?

We're still back to women. Any chance you could focus on why a man would enjoy face fucking (such a lovely term) a woman?

But we have spent most of the thread discussing why women do or do not want to do this.

I believe there are women who will want to do this who have male partners who don't want to.

But there are also many men who do want to do this whose female partners don't want to.

So I don't see why it should be an issue to discuss why men do want to do this.

That's it - a doll with nice hair LineRunner. For a man to use how he wants. And apparently he does want.

But I don't find that women like your friend, Hmmmmm, are repressed by the patriarchy. Quite the opposite in fact. There is a landslide of media depicting women's sexuality as a narrow band of submissive behaviours.

It's almost as if a patriarchal society has an interest in depicting women's sexuality as ONLY that narrow band. Where's the room for dissenting expression?

Actually that strap could be used on a blow up doll.