anyone feel uncomfortable about Military Wives Choir?

[Bennifer]

That?s it really. Although I like the idea that the wives are raising money for charity ~(and that we won't have an X factor number 1), there?s something a little unsettling about the military wives angle I can?t quite put my finger on. Am I overthinking this?

I've heard the DV rates for Aldershot are very very high compared to other towns without such a huge military presence, but haven't got the numbers, sorry.

i also suspect that without digging around, you won't be able to find them. it isn't something that will be broadcast.

i should also note in the interests of fairness that dv works both ways in the military, with obvious statistical differences. and military men are less likely to report suffering dv at the hands of their spouses, even than their male civilian counterparts. as of course are the wives, who may be far from home with in theory nowhere to go, and no immediate support network. so dv stats will be undoubtedly under-reported even in comparision with civ stats (noting that they also are under-reported).

i've also heard lots of anecdotal stuff about anti-d's as well (someone mentioned upthread) but again, haven't seen any research. just a broad picture of how many wives at any one time in any one place are prescribed. and again, only the ones that will admit it. or passing comment by doctor.

the same programme has been introduced in the uk, sgm. (to my knowledge it hasn't been cut yet). so all returning troops have a decompression period. they have also introduced a compulsory day back in work at a slightly later point during potl, where all of the mental health flags are re-covered and support networks and avenues gone over and over.

guess who are the ones that whine about this? the wives. understandable that you just want your dh home, but sometimes you have to play the long game for everyone's benefit. so it may not just be cost cutting. there may have been a groundswell of opinion from spouses that they didn't want it, which made it socially acceptable to grab this as a convenient savings measure. even on forces sweethearts on here i've had to argue that this isn't to piss families off, it's for everyone's benefit.

(it's also an attempt to get any ptsd concerns raised. again there's a reluctance to report within military community as seen as sign of weakness etc etc)

it wasn't introduced to the reserve community at first either, and i had to stamp my feet hard locally. of all the people that need the most support post op tour, it's the reservists and their families. the reservists go straight back to being a postman or whatever, and their wives don't have even the support network that exists on base. they might not even know any other military families, let alone anyone who's just spent 4mos in afghanistan.

talk about your average culture shock. at least the regulars know they are within a community that understands. your average reservist might have to return to a workplace where (a bit like on mn) there is a huge hostility to 'illegal wars' and the military in general.

would really love a link if you find it, sgm. save me looking!

Right - I'll call a spade a spade:

I find it disconcerting partly because I am reading it as part of a larger cultural effort to try to get us to all engage in some cod rehash of the Blitz spirit. All this 'we're all in it together crap', let's distract attention with a lovely royal wedding, let's get bigfatToryKirstie Allsopp on the TV 'make do and mending', come on ladies, back in the kitchen, etc etc.

If you can culturally condition the population to feel like we're all knuckling down in a brave effort (and look! Brave Soldiers! Let's wave a hanky at them!) then hopefully the population won't notice that actually we're being shafted by these Tory cunts, and what is happening now is absolutely nothing like the Blitz. It's essentially a rebranding of the economic crisis and a cover for the Tory response to it. Military Wives singing sentimental songs is just one more part of this picture as I see it.

Good analysis Quodlibet.

You're right, it's all very fake and regressive.

ah ok, sgm. i thought it was gulf stuff. my mistake. (ther is mental helath stuff that came out of the gulf, but not sure if it touched on dv)

i don't disagree, quod. but i don't mind donations that might bolster the support network. it's a typical and over-used get-out clause - donate to charity so that the govt don't have to provide the required support.

i have no problem with the donations. i don't like that they are necessary.

yy, makes sense. am lolling a little though - it only took 60 years for the uk to interpret the results and introduce new decompression policy

ah, quod aren't you retrofitting your impression of the national mood there onto some things which are unrelated? the programme was started in February and from an idea that was sent to Gareth Malone by a forces wife somewhere in the UK

I doubt very much that the Forces had any influence on the programme and neither did the govt- if the producers/bbc had a 'mood' to sell that's a different matter but it's pretty far removed from the sort of machiavellian Tory plan to keep drip feeding the nation with blitz spirit stories so we tie our apron strings collectively and figuratively to the home fires and don't bother the job centres.

I could equally say that the lack (as I perceive it) of gardening programmes on TV is a big business conspiracy to keep us buying bland/processed/genetically modified/airfreighted food from the supermarkets.

I'm a civil servant in central govt and I promise you it is just not possible for us yo get our act together and push through a holistic plan like that. Politicians are opportunists - a good example is the announcement today that the Miliwives single won't have VAT. taken by the treasury. If this was a big plan they would have announced that a lot earlier, not when it's three days from being No.1 and somebody has realised that the VAT they'll get from 250k sales at 2£ a pop is a vote-loser

£83,332 - the approx VAT on 250,000 sales which I think the single had made as of yesterday.

is the vat going to the support charities then?

not really much difference in outcome then, really. better pr for the govt to donate 'vat' from sales than provide the support itself. much more sensible economically.

On the other hand, are there really still so few women in the military that not a single husband could be found? Or is it that even if you are a military husband, you're not defined by your wife's role? think you'll find that the majority of wives in the Military Choir are from a marine regt; meaning that women cannot serve with them - only alongside them. Not as infantry soldiers. Think I'm right in saying that - correct me if I'm wrong. DH (forces) seems to think that's why there are no DHs singing - it's because they're mostly marines.

To answer OP-NO.

pizza I don't know but I guess more of the cover price is profit so as long as Decca. and the studio were only charging a flat rate not a percentage then yes it'll turn into pure profit.

How/why charities are becoming an increasingly important part of basic service delivery is probably a 'politics' thread in itself. I read the other day about a local council which had outsourced almost everything to a limited company based in its own building and employing almost all the same staff. "Saved money and improved service" BUT was presumably making a profit for someone in the chain. Agility of services is a major factor because (getting a bit back on topic) you could find that mental health, physical rehab, and such like are required in widely varying levels according to conflict involvement so setting up the public sector to provide everything at max required levels all the time is wasteful.

I'm sorry some of you feel so affronted, the program was made (as it seemed to me) purely to give the women something to do while their OH's were deployed, they enjoyed it & so it grew. No inferiority suggested, or felt.

There were GF's in the choir, but the WAGS label being attributed latterly to brainless bimbos who marry/live with footballers, they went for the Military Wives. (one lady had a DH AND a DS overseas)

It happened to be that no male OH were available or wanted to join,perhaps.

There were choir members from 2 main bases, Chivenor & Plymouth (which is far bigger) and far from gloss over the many losses, there was a frequent refrain that they were aware not all the men were coming back, that they all dreaded THAT visit & their thoughts were with the women who had suffered losses.

The whole point if then going on to do a single was to help the 2 big charities that support these very families, Gareth Malone has a grandfather who has been greatly helped by the RBL so he felt this a way of giving something back.

If anyone is uncomfortable with the term "Military Wives" then that is your problem, please don't infer these lovely ladies are anything less than independant strong women in their own right to choose to support their OH's.

I'm a feminist but I do think you can overthink things.

'something to do'.

that's made my day, that has.

ha!

lexi, yy re whole other politics thread.

it really isn't just the tory govt. this erosion has been going on for at least 15 years.
interesting point about need/ demand though.
i used to run a charity that provided out of school activities for children and youth with disabilities, because no after-school care/ opportunities existed. i was an unpaid volunteer. our 1-1 care-workers were unpaid volunteers. our board were all volunteers. we raised our own money and paid specialist instructors. no after-school clubs or care opportunities existed. (we actually set up as an organisation because the two week sn playscheme in the summer holidays was cut). children without disabilities had a raft of opportunities all summer long and every night.

i'm just sceptical about the lack of need thing, i think.

fwiw, although he didn't actually die in the end, i've been on the receiving end of the 'knock on the door'. he was given a 20% chance of survival. his med care was great (they saved his life ) but not one person, not one single solitary member of the military community, has ever spoken to me about it since the knock. presumably if he had died, the system would have kicked in and i would have been issued with a nice officer to walk me through everything. (i know i would. i know the system.)

being a military wife pervades every single aspect of your being, bossybritches. you can't escape it. ever. so please don't think to patronise me about my 'independence'.