I'm coming a bit late to this discussion but have been very interested in some of the views expressed by military wives on the thread. Do you think we really are that defined as "wife of"? I can't say that I've never come across that because you'd all laugh and know I was lying but most of the time that view came from the "old guard" - bufty old Colonels and the like.
My husband did a tour at RMAS and there, definitely, there was an old-fashioned attitude to wives. However, before we moved there we were told that RMAS was like the Army in the 50's and that we'd never change the system so it was best just to go along with it. While some of it did chafe, I did go along with it and it was one of our best postings. Outside of RMAS, I can't say that I've encountered much in the way of sexism and I've met many wives who would define themselves by all sorts of titles/descriptors - from doctors to soldiers to teachers and hairdressers and everything else you can think of. However, they would also always describe themselves as an Army wife. After all, being married to the military is an all-pervasive thing - you live beside the people that work with your husband and you socialise with them too. It's an incredibly insular and protected way of life, especially if you live behind the wire or on a patch.
I have to admit that my husband's Corps has a high proportion of women serving at all ranks and that does tend to help dispel the myths that women are only fit to be at home and breeding and it does mean that there are plenty of husbands kicking about.
I can't see why the title of the choir would make anyone go "Hmmm" but I am coming at it from a different perspective. Perhaps if you're outside looking in, it looks odd.
I don't particularly like the single because I find the lyrics mawkish and sentimental and I loathe all that sort of thing and hate the wearing of ones heart on ones sleeve. I do think they are worthy charities, however, and support them whenever I can. I don't like the idea that Military wives are being held up as some sort of standard of womanhood, though. The wives I know are a pretty diverse bunch from all walks of life and backgrounds and have a varied a mix of personalities as you would expect from any other group of women. Some are lovely people and there are some women that you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley - just like in civilian life. So, the idea that we're performing some kind of duty etc is a little unsettling. I don't want to be anyone's role model, ta very much!
Army life is fun at times and is hard at times. It can be difficult to be referred to as a dependent when one has to be very independent to succeed.
I would like to see a good independent study into Forces life although AFF does conduct the CAS every year and that can have quite a bit of influence.
Frozen North Pole's descriptions of life in the army certainly struck a chord with me!