Take responsiblity for how you act and what you wear

[PurpleStrawberry]

Nick Freeman (AKA Mr Loophole), lawyer to the stars, had this to say in his column for the Manchester Evening News yesterday. A friend who lives in Manchester has e-mailed me the article.

Because yes, of course, if a woman is dressed in a certain way, she is only out to attract/lure men.

menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/comment/blogs/s/1423562_nick-freeman-take-responsibility-for-how-you-act-and-what-you-wear

Arsehole.

You are going to get more male attention if you dress in a certain way and act in a flirtatious way. That is a fact. So while its a woman's right to dress how she likes she can't stop men looking and making judgements. ( personally, if a woman is walking around half naked i'd say she is after male attention - I'm a woman so I know )

MisterDarsey, I saw that comment and chuckled. My immediate reaction was "well, that sounds like one of the MNetters."

primal, after male attention and asking to be raped are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!

There is a difference between male attention and sexual assault.
There is a difference between wanting to look attractive and wanting to be raped.

Can people seriously not see the difference? Apparently not.

Primal - she might be after male attention, yes. Women have a sexuality and desires of their own, they are not just indiscriminately hoping that mankind as a whole will try it on.

For instance, she might be after her husband or partner finding her attractive as that's the look they like. Or she might be going on a date with Boris from Accounts who she's fancied for ages. She might even be hoping to meet an attractive and interesting man and is hoping he'll fancy her.

This is not actually the same as wanting ANY AND EVERY man to stare, comment, proposition, judge, touch, assault or rape.

This guy gives men a bad name!

I agree that you can wear whatever you want and that dressing in a'sexy way doesn't actually mean you are looking for sex.

But even if we accept the argument that a seductively dressed woman (whatever that may be, presumably different people view different things as seductive) is looking for sex, that doesn't mean she's open season for anybody who feels like raping her. Presumably women who are out looking for sex are entitled some input on who they have sex with!

And what next - a man in tight jeans deserves to be raped because he was showing his bum off? I don't think so.

I can't believe we're in 2011 and still blaming the victim rather than the perpetrator. I know I'm preaching to the converted here!!

I like bramshot's comment that even if a woman is naked in your bed no still means no.

Sometimes I despair

Yes I know they're two completely different things - rape ( in the vast majority of cases ) has nothing to do with what the woman was wearing/ what she looked like etc.

The other night, DH and I had a must welcomed night out together, and I went into London (where he works) to meet him in a bar.

I was dressed in a short-ish dress, heels and had made a bit of effort with my appearance. (That stuff doesn't usually bother me, but with four children, nights out like this are rare so I made an effort).

I was dressed for my husband, not for any other man to leer at, or indeed get any ideas about.

No, rape NEVER has anything to do with what the woman was wearing/looked like. Dittany or PrinceHumperdnick will explain this better.

No, rape NEVER has anything to do with what the woman was wearing/looked like. Dittany or PrinceHumperdnick will explain this better.

I think you explained it pretty well yourself.

Elephants - your post was so naive I almost don't know where to start.

I'm in scotland and we did have a series of public information adverts along the lines of woman shopping in clothes shop tries on two dresses and asks the assistant which one is more likely to get her raped.

It's so sad that that sort of advertisement is needed

Completely agree that rape has nothing to do with what the victim is wearing and everything to do with what is going on in the perpetrators messed up head.

Well you could always pat me on the head and give me a lollipop?

Thanks, Trillian. PH, I think it was, has previously posted some interesting comments which reveal how the rapists psyche works.

KD, do you have a link to these adverts at all, please?

Why is it that when people point out that men admiring women and men sexually assaulting women are quite different things, they get called naive?

It may be shocking for some to realise that in fact, most men know the difference themselves.

Elephants - your post was so naive I almost don't know where to start.

The. Irony.

This is an interesting campaign again from Rape Crisis Scotland.

Think this is the video, Peanut?

First time trying a link...

here

Thank you, Elephant. I'd come across the campaign before, but not the video.

KD - "Presumably women who are out looking for sex are entitled some input on who they have sex with"

Yes, absolutely! I might be out looking for sex with a Johnny Depp lookalike, but somehow strangely unwilling to be leapt on by sleazy Fred from accounts. How strange !

Thank you, KD. You'd hope it'd be common sense, but no. You still have people insisting that a woman wearing a short, skimpy skirt is "asking for it".

In two days, I;ll be on the beach, in a bikini. Does that mean I'm asking for it? After all... It's a layer of clothes less... It's pretty much having me already in the bedroom, visually...

If you said "Yes", you need your head checked.

bramshott poor Fred. What is he supposed to think when you are dressed up and smile in his direction... He is of course entitled to jump you if the mood takes him

Cleverything, that case is being discussed further down. I do hope that he's still found guilty. How traumatic this must be for the girl. :(

Brashott, I took KD's "presumably" as an attempt at irony? The choice is removed during rape (as we know). KD's message to me read as her way of saying we should all get the choice, but doesn't happen in rape cases.