Take responsiblity for how you act and what you wear

[PurpleStrawberry]

Nick Freeman (AKA Mr Loophole), lawyer to the stars, had this to say in his column for the Manchester Evening News yesterday. A friend who lives in Manchester has e-mailed me the article.

Because yes, of course, if a woman is dressed in a certain way, she is only out to attract/lure men.

menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/comment/blogs/s/1423562_nick-freeman-take-responsibility-for-how-you-act-and-what-you-wear

Arsehole.

Riveninside - yeah, it's as if men are these poor creatures that can't control their urges - it's insulting to men in the extreme!

Primal Scream

"And it's naive to expect all males apart from your Dh/DP/Nigel from accounts to avert their eyes when you're dressed provocatively"

Please would you define "provocatively"?

Because in some countries showing your hair or your wrists is dressing "provocatively". In some places letting your boobs hang out isn't provocative at all, just natural and easy access for the little munchers.

So, instead of having lots of different rules for women to adhere to , why don't we have an universal principle for men to follow (which most already do), I dunno, something like "Please ask first"!!

re false rape accusations - According to the FBI more people falsely report their own deaths than falsely report sexual assault

(ref. Shira Tarrant's book 'Men & feminism')

Ooh, thanks for clarifying, MisterDarsey.

Joaninha, that sounds a reasonably sensible idea. We could call it something radical like... ooh... Consent? Reckon we're onto a winner here, y'know.

Nothing has happened to me - But we have to be responsible in the way we act - I should be able to leave my window open without getting burgled, I should be able to do lots of things but I can't. It's not an ideal world is it.
And if you dress in a certain way you will get more male attention. that could be welcomed or not - men don't always know.

Primal, you do realise you are spouting a load of misogynistic, rape apologist claptrap?

But because you're talking about male attention, not rape, I guess it's ok

swallowedAfly

Your post does read horrifically, but unfortunately it feels like the truth.

When I'm walking down the street, with my handbag on my arm, I'm not inviting people to mug me and steal it am I?

In the same vein, if I walk down the street showing some flesh, that's not an invitation for any man to leer at me or God forbid rape me.

I'm Replying to the thread title and what's been written in the op;
There is no mention of rape in either and rape is not what I'm talking about ( I said rape had nothing to do with the way a woman dresses earlier )
I'm obviously on a completely different track here so im sorry about that.

If people burgled your house after you left the window open, they would be burglars wouldn't they, and no-one would accept the "I thought she had too much stuff and left the window open hoping someone would take it" excuse.

They would go to prison, quite rightly. Just because people commit crimes, it doesn't make it somehow the fault of the victims.

SAF - think you're right. Reminds me of this poem by notorious bastard Ted Hughes. "She had too much so with a smile you
took some."

I'm Replying to the thread title and what's been written in the op;
There is no mention of rape in either and rape is not what I'm talking about

not the link then, where Nick Freeman talks about how he managed to heroically stop himself from raping someone? Or where he REGULARLY talks about rape throughout the article?

What did you think? We'd all taken this off a a wild tangent?

And Elephant, I agree...

No, I'm on your track primalscream.

Rape is inexcusable, that's a given.

But what we wear tells the world something about us whether we like it or not. The trick is to ensure what you wear is saying what you want it to say.

If you are happy to have lots of attention ( from both sexes, as it happens) then wearing very short, tight revealing clothes is absolutely great. But you WILL get looks/leers and attention because that is the flawed society we live in. Of COURSE you should not be raped, let's not put words into mouths but you WILL get attention. You can't then be outraged that men are looking at your arse if it's barely covered by thin tight fabric and wiggling about above very high heels.

Exactly the same as women looking/leering at a well toned an in a tight t shirt or topless.

In fact, you should see the attention the farrier gets when he comes to our yard form twenty women!

I didn't read the link no - sorry

primal seriously read the article in the link and then see what you think.

saf I think you have a very good point with your lightbulb ponderings. I have often wondered why some men are so aggressive and so angry when you have been behaving quite normally and I'm sure for some/many of them that is why.

On the subject of women = handbags, unlocked houses, flash cars, etc:

I once had a conversation with an Egyptian friend on the subject of covering up. He gave me this analogy: "If you had a precious diamond, would you put it somewhere for the whole world to see, or would you put it somewhere safe like a jewelry box where no-one could steal it?"

It had me stumped for a while, I mean it sounded like such a compliment. Until I remembered that a women are not inanimate lumps of stone...

Who the fuck is getting outraged that people are looking at other people's arses?

Where do people get this stuff from?

I don't get outraged when people stare at my arse, it's when they feel the need to comment. I've stared at no end (no pun intended) of good looking men's arses, I just don't feel the need to whistle, grope and otherwise interrupt this strange man's day.

Smashinghairday - yes, that's what I was saying - I know some feminists think women should be able to wear what they like without any judgement - but society doesn't work like that - they haven't got the power to control the minds of millions.

Why are you being so aggressive towards me sardinequeen?
I mean, really?
Can you not address an alternative point of view from your own without being aggressive?